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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this normal for a hen do?

276 replies

Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:38

My friend is getting married.

Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash.

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 13/05/2023 17:40

I would find it surprising if you could do a BBQ for 20 for less than £50 really.

CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair · 13/05/2023 17:41

I’ve never been to that type of hen do but you sound really tight. I’d expect the bbq to involve nicer food than a few burgers and sausages plus nice drinks, the games can add up, plus decorations etc. It doesn’t seem like you’re being asked for much compared to most hens so I wouldn’t quibble.

HolyFuckerRooney · 13/05/2023 17:42

I agree that's a lot of money assuming most people won't want alcohol
Are they hiring a bouncy castle? Serving lobster?

McTerfy · 13/05/2023 17:42

It’s not just the food though. It’s all the bits and pieces needed for the games etc.

JMSA · 13/05/2023 17:43

You're bumping your gums over a £25 night 'out'. Really? Confused

HolidayHankering · 13/05/2023 17:43

Maybe they are buying bottles of non alcoholic gins and similar? They are pretty pricey, but I like them and would totally get them for this type of occasion.

Ponderingwindow · 13/05/2023 17:44

The food, the games, the tableware. That all costs money.

Overthebow · 13/05/2023 17:45

£25 isn’t really much to pay for a hen party. Sounds a fun and cheap night.

bravotango · 13/05/2023 17:46

I think that sounds a) lovely b) low maintenance and c) a bargain

Guineapigwoes · 13/05/2023 17:52

You’re being tight

Lcb123 · 13/05/2023 17:52

Sounds reasonable assuming that includes all food and drink (and including alcohol for those who want it), decorations, table ware etc. significantly less than the hens I’ve been on!

Notimeforaname · 13/05/2023 17:54

25 quid for a hens night is nothing.

Lovingitallnow · 13/05/2023 17:56

£25 a head for food, drinks, games, decorations isn't bad at all.

growgrowinggrown · 13/05/2023 17:56

You can really do a full bbq for 20 for under £50? Without even including drinks and decorations?
Either you're jesus or a bad host.

BlameItOnTheGoose · 13/05/2023 17:56

That's really not a lot for an evening's worth of food, refreshments and games. If you went out out at a bar or something, £25 would barely buy 2 cocktails.

Just be glad you aren't expected to get on a plane..

Original poster
Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:56

It will cost me £50 for me and dd but I accept that it’s not much to pay.

Bbqs and garden games are typical for our group of friends and none of us ever pay eachother - although I accept a hen do is different!

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 13/05/2023 17:58

Just the meat costs for 20 people will be really high! If attending a hen do only cost me £25 I'd be very pleased!

pecantoucan · 13/05/2023 17:59

That sounds entirely reasonable. You're out of touch with how much things cost

Hugasauras · 13/05/2023 17:59

I don't see how you can buy good quality meat for 20 people along with sides, salads, drinks etc for under £50. Maybe in 1997.

JMSA · 13/05/2023 18:02

Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:56

It will cost me £50 for me and dd but I accept that it’s not much to pay.

Bbqs and garden games are typical for our group of friends and none of us ever pay eachother - although I accept a hen do is different!

I don't mean to sound rude, but what's your AIBU then?

1offnamechange · 13/05/2023 18:03

I sort of see what you mean - it's hard to see how a party in someone's garden could cost £500 (although I also don't believe you could do it for £50 even if you bought the absolute cheapest smart price ingredients). But if you take into consideration perhaps they've paid for a cake to be specially made (easily up to £100), possible a marquee, might need to rent a second bbq if cooking for 20, nice food and drinks included, hiring games it could add up and tbh £25 is so cheap for a hen do, even if what you're actually getting isn't "worth" that much, I'd jump at it!

An acquaintance of mine asked her friends to go on an abroad hen (£500 each), "home hen" (in their nearest city, about £100 each by the time they'd factored in hotel or taxi) AND then had a "garden" hen which the invitees had to pay £50 to attend and bring their own drinks! Her father is a millionaire. Now that's cheeky!

Liverpoodle · 13/05/2023 18:03

It really isn’t much, what exactly is the problem here?

SeanMean · 13/05/2023 18:05

Sounds fun and cheap to me!

Iceicebabytoocold · 13/05/2023 18:06

Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:56

It will cost me £50 for me and dd but I accept that it’s not much to pay.

Bbqs and garden games are typical for our group of friends and none of us ever pay eachother - although I accept a hen do is different!

i take it your DD is an adult, if so can she not pay herself? If she is a child why are taking her if you feel it is too expensive?

ChiChiGabor · 13/05/2023 18:07

A family BBQ without decorations is £200+, £25 a head is reasonable