Is this normal for a hen do?

[Worthyoflove]

My friend is getting married.

Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash.

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

Honestly all the people whinging about how expensive it is clearly have never planned a hen, large birthday party etc for this sort of number of people.

It's normal to contribute to the hen/stag do and pay in part for the person getting married. On the other hand they pay for you to attend their wedding apart from hotel and travel costs.

I would be delighted to be invited to a hen party that only cost £25. Even if I had to pay for 2 people that's still a very cheap hen! It sounds lovely and relaxed too.

This is your friends hen? I take it you're not very good friends if you're begrudging £25 to celebrate with her.

OP I think what people are missing is that this is 'normal' for your group of friends. So you know what it should cost, and that this is more expensive than usual? Is that it?

I don't think it's wrong if they're going to be buying better quality food etc but I've been stung with high costs for a 'bridal present' which I very much resented. maybe you should ask them what it's going to be spent on?

I've not been to many hen do's (they weren't such a big thing in the 90s) but those I did go to involved going out for dinner. All the guests paid their own bill. So £25 seems reasonable? I'm sure I spent at least that on all my hen do's back then.

no, it will cost £25 each, it’s no the organisers fault that there are 2 of you!

Also I think the 'normal cost' for a hen-do is irrelevant here as like any party it depends on the venue!

If you're all young, good earners and childfree, usually drop £300 on a holiday abroad then having one of your usual trips as a 'hen-do' isn't unusual.

I wouldn't have the same budget for a 'regular night out' hen-do. And certainly not for a picnic in the park.

If you don’t even know what a hen is why do you think you’re able to make a valuable contribution to the discussion?

I'm hosting something very similar for my friend who is getting married in the summer and I wouldn't dream of asking people to pay to attend. I've got a DJ booked and going to get some garden games and sandwiches/cakes/snacks for an afternoon tea (I decided against a barbecue because of the costs and the time needed to stand and pay attention to it). All I'm asking the guests for is to bring their own drinks.

But if £25 includes alcohol then why the same price for a child?
Or are the kid costs subsidising the adults?

Also I'm wondering why they don't just let people bring their own food and drink. Much easier to control costs that way.

How much will it be costing you? You are happy to pay it but why should one person pick up all the costs and do all the organization of its not their party

I couldn't get worked up over 25 quid for a hen do tbh.

I'm assuming it covers food, some drink and games?

It's deffo on the more affordable side of hen do's with people wanting hundreds these days! A bargain tbh.

I'd understand being annoyed if say at the actual bbq you are served one hamburger though but hopefully that wont be the case :-)

If children coming too extra costs sweets, crisps ECT
Think 25£ sounds great value

It's totally normal to share the costs of a hen do between the attendees. Otherwise who do you think should cover the £100s that a BBQ for 20+ will cost??

Because people turning up with random things is a logistical nightmare. People will whinge about bringing something specific, people will duplicate things, some people will turn up late when something needs to be started cooking etc. You end up with 140 sausages, 10 bags of crisps and little else.
Sounds like a shit party frankly.

How old is your dd? If she’s an adult she can pay herself if she’s young can you leave her home/ get a babysitter (although a paid babysitter is likely to cost more)

Personally I think it sounds expensive for a party at home. I expect they will have balloon arches, decor, signs, professionally made cake, hired a gazebo etc. Nothing is low key anymore with hen dos so I can see how it can end up costing hundreds of pounds.

Is this a joke😂 you see so many threads about hen do’s that are overseas that are gonna cost people about 2 grand. A nice bbq and they’re only asking for £25 a head? I think that sounds great

How much will it be costing you? You are happy to pay it but why should one person pick up all the costs and do all the organization of its not their party

I'm hosting though so it is my party in that way, it's celebrating a friend but it's in my garden and my house. Most of the costs will be pretty low so it's no bother to me to host, I'm keeping within my means on purpose. I wouldn't host something I couldn't afford.

If I was having the do at home I definitely wouldn’t charge people as they’d be my guests.

I think it's standard.

They'll be buying all sorts for it.

Sounds lovely and very reasonable. Plus you can bet your bum that the organiser ends up paying more, covering extras, having to chase people etc etc so cut her some slack.

It's normal to pay for your attendance at a hen do and frankly they usually come to more than that.

Sounds like a fab hen do and a bargain at £25 per head! I wish more of my friends had hen dos like this.
A night out where I live (going for dinner in a restaurant, cocktail bar, shared taxi home) you wouldn’t get much change from £100. And many people have abroad hen dos for £500-1000+

How refreshingly normal and considerate to host a hen do in a garden. She wants her friends to come more than she wants insta photos in a bar somewhere in Europe. £25 each is nothing and I assume covers decorations, food, drink, even charcoal. You sound really tight!