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Original poster

Is this normal for a hen do?

276 replies

Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:38

My friend is getting married.

Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash.

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 13/05/2023 18:35

Posted too soon...

...kebabs for 20 people is over £50 before anything else!

MrsDoylesDoily · 13/05/2023 18:35

Way cheaper than going to a pub/club.

Hugasauras · 13/05/2023 18:36

(And I was being modest with the expected meat intake)

TheSnowyOwl · 13/05/2023 18:37

drpet49 · 13/05/2023 18:32

I actually agree with this. £25 a head seems too much especially as quite a few of the guests won’t be drinking.

Show quote history

Most people who aren’t drinking alcohol still enjoy nice drinks (breastfeeding mothers will drink a lot to hydrate themselves). They also like to eat a good quality range of food.

I’m really starting to be put off from going to barbecues at people’s houses from fear of what will be served up.

Coronationstation · 13/05/2023 18:37

If you were all going out to a restaurant you’d pay your own way so I don’t see why not if someone has offered to host at their home.
also, if DD is old enough to be going to a hen do they should be paying their own way.

3luckystars · 13/05/2023 18:38

Sounds like a right bargain to me.

RaininSummer · 13/05/2023 18:38

It's cheap for hen party in comparison to most of the extravaganzas I read about but a potential 500 pounds for a garden bbq and games seems crackers.

Workyticket · 13/05/2023 18:38

Everything is so expensive these days! I'm sorting a Leavers party for my sons Y6 class. It's come out as £12 a head by the time I've hired the hall, paid the disco company, bought food etc.

That's for a kids 2 hour disco - a grown up party with better food and maybe alcohol? You're getting a bargain!

choasandrain · 13/05/2023 18:38

I wouldn't spend £50 for me and my kid to sit in someone's garden eating a hot dog. Don't go, hen parties are tedious anyway.

choasandrain · 13/05/2023 18:39

Workyticket · 13/05/2023 18:38

Everything is so expensive these days! I'm sorting a Leavers party for my sons Y6 class. It's come out as £12 a head by the time I've hired the hall, paid the disco company, bought food etc.

That's for a kids 2 hour disco - a grown up party with better food and maybe alcohol? You're getting a bargain!

There's no hall hire or disco in the OP's scenario though, is there?

philautia · 13/05/2023 18:40

Ermmmm actually I think that's a great idea for a hen do. That'll be food, drinks and any sort of games or forced fun I'd imagine.

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 13/05/2023 18:41

Why would guests have to pay for hen do?
It’s celebrating the bride, shouldn’t she pay for the party, party that is just celebrating her wedding? Wedding that guests have to spend money on?
So strange!

Greeneyegirl · 13/05/2023 18:43

No it's not normal...i've not paid less than £300 for a hen!

gogohmm · 13/05/2023 18:43

Depends if they are having it catered. If so it's about right.

I think it cost me £150 for my mums birthday (13 people including dietary restrictions) not including alcohol or gas for bbq and brother/dad sorted those

harriethoyle · 13/05/2023 18:43

"Either you're Jesus or a bad host"

@growgrowinggrown genius 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TheSnowyOwl · 13/05/2023 18:43

choasandrain · 13/05/2023 18:38

I wouldn't spend £50 for me and my kid to sit in someone's garden eating a hot dog. Don't go, hen parties are tedious anyway.

A hot dog isn’t the same as or comparable to a hen party barbecue though, is it?

Jeez if this is some people’s mentality about what a barbecue is then no wonder there are some ridiculous responses on here about costs.

Buying decent meat for 20 people from a farm shop or butchers would easily end up being around £20-£25 (or more) per head.

Thea91 · 13/05/2023 18:43

We had my son's 3 birthday in our garden probably a similar number of adults. I spend over £400 on a cake ( which I got cheaper as friend done it ) , decorations, biscuits and food.

This doesn't include anything for the kids i.e party bags or thier food. I didn't buy any alcohol just nice soft drinks. I also had to buy a gazebo on top of that .

choasandrain · 13/05/2023 18:44

What are the garden games (the whole idea of them is making me cringe btw), does that change the cost?

Like are they going to be hiring zorbs or those giant sumo costumes or something?

If it's a game of twister and pack of plastic bowls they can jog on.

ZoeQ90 · 13/05/2023 18:44

I organised a similar hen 5+ years ago and for two nights' BBQs with alcohol plus nibbles/breakfast and hen decor, cost about £60/head. That was plenty of quality food and treats, rather than a more bog-standard 1-burger, 1-sausage per person type everyday bbq. So £25 now seems fine to me.

AllegraWalterJones · 13/05/2023 18:45

TheSnowyOwl · 13/05/2023 18:43

A hot dog isn’t the same as or comparable to a hen party barbecue though, is it?

Jeez if this is some people’s mentality about what a barbecue is then no wonder there are some ridiculous responses on here about costs.

Buying decent meat for 20 people from a farm shop or butchers would easily end up being around £20-£25 (or more) per head.

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But they could just as equally be serving Aldi's finest. How is OP to know?

Splinters05 · 13/05/2023 18:45

You wouldn't get a cheaper 'night out' than £25, never mind hen do. She's accommodating the circumstances of most of her friends pregnant/bf and doing a cheap, no-frills hen do. She seems a good, reasonable friend! You're being tight.

Londisc · 13/05/2023 18:45

What else could you do for 25 quid that would bring you more joy than celebrating a hen do with your friends? Just do that instead. Everyone will be happier that way.

choasandrain · 13/05/2023 18:46

TheSnowyOwl · 13/05/2023 18:43

A hot dog isn’t the same as or comparable to a hen party barbecue though, is it?

Jeez if this is some people’s mentality about what a barbecue is then no wonder there are some ridiculous responses on here about costs.

Buying decent meat for 20 people from a farm shop or butchers would easily end up being around £20-£25 (or more) per head.

Show quote history

No idea, I've never been to a 'hen party barbecue' (when did that become a thing?) I'd be quite happy with a hot dog, not interested in £25 worth of meat for my dinner, thanks.

GracePalmer33 · 13/05/2023 18:46

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 13/05/2023 18:41

Why would guests have to pay for hen do?
It’s celebrating the bride, shouldn’t she pay for the party, party that is just celebrating her wedding? Wedding that guests have to spend money on?
So strange!

Have you never been to or heard of a hen party before?

They're generally organised by the maid of honour/bridesmaids and are usually a "surprise" as far as the bride is concerned. If the guests don't contribute then it would be down to the MOH /bridesmaids to pay for the whole event I guess which seems unfair. I'm not majorly into hen dos- I didn't even have one- but even for me £25 seems fine for what has been described and I'd just be happy to not be getting invited to another hen do abroad that would cost hundreds.

SpeckledlyHen · 13/05/2023 18:48

JMSA · 13/05/2023 17:43

You're bumping your gums over a £25 night 'out'. Really? Confused

Yup, agree with this. Considering two cocktails in London would easily be about £30 I find this sooo stingy. Also if you could do it for less than £50 I would be very dubious as to the quality of the food.. Richmond sausages anyone?