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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sexual comments around baby

97 replies

RK10 · 13/05/2023 11:39

Name change as this may be outing and I don't want it linked to other posts.

I have a very young baby, am not with her Dad. He's not very active in her life and has only seen her a few times since she was born. She can't be away from me yet as she's too young.

He recently came to see her. While he was holding her she sneezed. He commented "oh she just had one eight of an orgasm".

I asked him what he meant and he explained that's what a sneeze was... I was hmmm as it made me uncomfortable that he was relating an orgasm to our baby.

Later on she yawned and he poked his finger in her mouth and said "yawn rape"... I again asked him what he meant and he acted like I was odd for not having heard the term "yawn rape" before.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with him using those words around the baby. He said I'm unreasonable as she can't understand.

AIBU?

OP posts:
dontlookbackyourenotgoingthatway · 13/05/2023 11:40

Cut contact.

Is he on the birth certificate?

TheSnowyOwl · 13/05/2023 11:41

What is unreasonable is that you need to ask.

Overthehill123 · 13/05/2023 11:41

Yanbu. She doesn't understand, but that doesn't change the fact it's completely odd behaviour.

Rinoachicken · 13/05/2023 11:42

🤮🤮🤮🤮

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 13/05/2023 11:42

What the fuck?

Original poster
RK10 · 13/05/2023 11:43

@dontlookbackyourenotgoingthatway he's not on the BC.

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 13/05/2023 11:43

Yuk. That is disgusting. Absolutely no unsupervised access and no allowing him to do nappy changes. Id probably just hope he is clumsy with words at first but if it continues, cut contact and keep a record of his inappropriate comments.

Original poster
RK10 · 13/05/2023 11:44

@TheSnowyOwl I know it's wrong and I've been losing sleep and so anxious over it, but he made out like it was funny and that I was being uptight.

OP posts:
dontlookbackyourenotgoingthatway · 13/05/2023 11:44

RK10 · 13/05/2023 11:43

@dontlookbackyourenotgoingthatway he's not on the BC.

Good.

Cut him out of your life.

Do not engage, just block him.

I'd move house if necessary.

Jazzabel · 13/05/2023 11:45

No she can’t understand but it’s still gross! She also wouldn’t understand if someone for example said unkind things to her about her appearance but you just wouldn’t would you?

TheHandmaiden · 13/05/2023 11:45

Perverted. Imagine trying to explain this to anyone in authority over you.

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 13/05/2023 11:46

If he wasn't her dad and just some random bloke you were speaking to, would you still be asking?

JamSandle · 13/05/2023 11:47

I'm on your side here. A weird way to talk about his own daughter.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/05/2023 11:47

He’s revolting and you should be grateful you’re no longer with him. Absolutely revolting.

These specific remarks won’t impact on your baby. But I would minimise access to him as she grows up.

HollyBookBlue · 13/05/2023 11:47

Your title says "sexual comments around baby" but that isn't what's happening here. What he's doing is making sexual comments towards your baby. That's disgusting and worrying.

DragonbornMum · 13/05/2023 11:48

Disgusting behaviour

CadburyDream · 13/05/2023 11:48

How long was you with him? Was he always like this?

Ratatouee · 13/05/2023 11:48

🚩🚩🚩Twice he’s made sexually inappropriate comments about his baby daughter in one visit! Completely inappropriate and I would never leave him alone with her.

GabriellaMontez · 13/05/2023 11:49

Grotty af.

I wouldn't want him anywhere near my baby.

itsmylife7 · 13/05/2023 11:50

You should change your attitude to more like "you scummy fucker leave my house" Not " what do you mean "

Any decent father wouldn't be thinking or saying such perverted things about a child.

He's hiding in plain sight OP don't let him change her nappy.

Original poster
RK10 · 13/05/2023 11:50

@HollyBookBlue you're right, what I should have said is towards her.

It's made my skin crawl.

OP posts:
tennesseewhiskey1 · 13/05/2023 11:52

Wtf?! He is a disgusting human. Cut all
contact! Vile. Yuck!

Comedycook · 13/05/2023 11:53

I'd never let him see her again...he'd have to drag me through the courts. Thanks heavens he's not on the birth certificate.

FayCarew · 13/05/2023 11:53

@RK10 , it made my skin crawl too. Completely inappropriate and disturbing.

Eyesopenwideawake · 13/05/2023 11:53

He is a danger to your child. Possibly to other children as well - I would seriously consider talking to the police for their advice.