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Original poster

To be appalled by school toilet restrictions

300 replies

GoodWitch65 · 13/05/2023 00:45

Had a period talk with my DD age 11 and mentioned to have a pouch with sanitary products to be kept in her school bag just in case. She told me they are not allowed to use toilets at school during the class, only during the break. I was very surprised, growing up in European country this was never a problem in my school, everyone was allowed to use toilets whenever they needed. Spoke to a friend of mine, her kids go to another school, apparently this a standart practice I just can't wrap my head around how and why? My friend's DS used to have frequent kidney infections and wasn't allowed to use the toilet when he needed to, she had to get a note from GP to make him 'exempt' from the rules so he could use the toilet. Also her DD has started her period and had asked to use the toilet but was told no, poor girl had bled through her clothes, left a blood stain on her chair and got told off by the teacher for doing so! My friend sent numerous complaints to school but no to avail. I feel like I want to make some changes in 'toilet rules' at school but not sure where to start. It's a basic human need, even prisoners get to use the toilet when they need, why would primary school children be denied?

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 13/05/2023 09:32

By definition it is a minority, otherwise it would be the majority of students wanting to use the toilet during lessons are taking the piss.

What makes you think this isn't the case? Even otherwise well-behaved students aren't above fancying a little break from their lesson. Most of the ones who don't want to skip a bit of lesson time will go to the toilet at break and lunch time.

Shopper727 · 13/05/2023 09:32

I didn’t go to the toilet at break or lunch as other girls bullied me and would follow me in and corner me etc so yes I went after was probably also the kid wandering about alone in the playground. Then my mum had to go to the teacher and tell her why I was asking in class, I had a few accidents because of it. My teacher was awful and sat me with the school bully who kicked my legs all day. Bloody hated school

Blanketpolicy · 13/05/2023 09:33

I just can't wrap my head around how and why?

@GoodWitch65 you have a good range of why posts explaining it is due behavioural or safe guarding issues across most schools.

Why do you think "Europe" is so different they don't have these issues?

Perfect28 · 13/05/2023 09:34

So I guess the answer to those who are het up about the toilet policies... Stop voting Tory and demand proper funding for schools. We should be able to staff the toilets to keep children safe. The fact that we can't is terrible. More money means more staff and that would be good for every one and every part of the school.

SoberPony · 13/05/2023 09:36

Perfect28 · 13/05/2023 09:34

So I guess the answer to those who are het up about the toilet policies... Stop voting Tory and demand proper funding for schools. We should be able to staff the toilets to keep children safe. The fact that we can't is terrible. More money means more staff and that would be good for every one and every part of the school.

Absolutely this^^

PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 09:36

Hercisback · 13/05/2023 09:23

@Mooshamoo Times have changed regarding pads. We now have supplies of all absorbancy pads and tampons in every classroom and office. Girls (and boys) ca person help themselves and it's totally normalised.

Why would boys need tampons and pads?!

ivfbabymomma1 · 13/05/2023 09:36

I work at a school and children are allowed to go to the toilet whenever they need too but only one child can go at a time.

Fairislefandango · 13/05/2023 09:38

So I guess the answer to those who are het up about the toilet policies... Stop voting Tory and demand proper funding for schools. We should be able to staff the toilets to keep children safe. The fact that we can't is terrible.

Toilets in schools have never been staffed during lesson time. Vandalism and bullying in toilets is not a new problem and it's not peculiar to times the Tories are in power. The problem is the ever-worsening behaviour in schools, not toilet supervision per se.

PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes · 13/05/2023 09:38

Fairislefandango · 13/05/2023 09:28

If it was known that they would expel people who vandalised school property or caused other disruption then far fewer people would behave that way.

As has been pointed out, schools cannot do this. They do not have the power to just decide to expel students. That's not how it works. And where do you think those students would go? To other schools, where they would cause exactly the same problems.

I think that's probably the underlying issue then: if there are no serious penalties for such awful behaviour then no wonder behaviour is so awful.

neverbeenskiing · 13/05/2023 09:39

ivfbabymomma1 · 13/05/2023 09:36

I work at a school and children are allowed to go to the toilet whenever they need too but only one child can go at a time.

This simply wouldn't work in many schools. We have 1800 students and 200+ staff spread out over a large site with various different buildings. Even if only one child from each class is allowed out at any one time that's still an awful lot of kids milling about in various locations with no one able supervise them.

Fairislefandango · 13/05/2023 09:39

I work at a school and children are allowed to go to the toilet whenever they need too but only one child can go at a time.

Only one per class. In a school of over a thousand students, that's still potentially quite a few in toilets at once.

Bloopsie · 13/05/2023 09:40

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 13/05/2023 09:04

If a teenage girl seems desperate, I will usually let them go. But it isn't normal to bleed through a pad in two hours if you are using appropriate sanitary protection. If this is happening regularly I do think the girl in question should see a doctor.

I think, tbf, part of the issue is as a teacher I've had whole days where I haven't been able to use a toilet from 8.25 - 3.00 (or sometimes a bit longer) - I accept I'm an adult and I've had longer to learn to manage my periods, but asking students to last for 2 hours (often less than that) doesn't seem unreasonable.

There are lots of jobs where you can't use a toilet whenever you want.

Show quote history

You dont know that,someone with endocrine problems can bleed through a pad in seconds by passing large bloods nevermind minutes or hours-lol.

I also had undiagnosed 8cmx6cm ovarian cyst through my life i have needed toilet breaks even if i literally went seconds ago as when the cyst moves it can make the person want to go again.

It is really arrogant to assume by your own experience only how often someone needs to change their pads or go for a pee or poo.

SoberPony · 13/05/2023 09:42

Fairislefandango · 13/05/2023 09:39

I work at a school and children are allowed to go to the toilet whenever they need too but only one child can go at a time.

Only one per class. In a school of over a thousand students, that's still potentially quite a few in toilets at once.

Mine is closer to 2000! And there aren't that make toilets (again, funding is low and student numbers trying to access a place are high)

ivfbabymomma1 · 13/05/2023 09:42

@neverbeenskiing @Fairislefandango yeah that's makes sense, I get why not every school can do it! This is a school off approx 700 children.

Hercisback · 13/05/2023 09:44

@PolkadotZebrasAndStripyGiraffes To take home for sisters, mothers etc.

Blendintothebackground · 13/05/2023 09:46

Students/pupils should try to get in the habit of using the toilet before school, during break and during lunch.
Sadly, a minority group of students who either graffiti, mess around, truant lessons, bully or do other unsavoury things in the toilets when unsupervised, has meant tighter rules for the use of the toilet during lesson time.
Those of you saying ‘expel students who misbehave’ clearly don’t work in a school or know how it works.
It’s virtually impossible to expel a student, their behavioural record has to be FULL of misdemeanours, serious ones, before it will even be considered as an option.
There are not enough staff to supervise toilets during lesson time, nor is it a useful way to utilise the minimal staff available.
Schools budgets have been cut and in order to keep children safe and supervised in school, these rules have to be put in place.
Im sure parents would complain if their child was involved in a serious incident in an unsupervised toilet during lesson time!

As a side note, if your daughter is struggling with heavy periods, a discrete word with her teacher would be sufficient to enable her to change her sanitary wear when required. But she would be the exception, not the rule.

SkippingTown · 13/05/2023 09:49

You may be a long term poster OP, but people should still be careful what they share. There’s some weirdos who love this sort of ‘content’.

🤮

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 13/05/2023 09:51

A girl was selling blow jobs in the toilets in one school l taught at.

Leafy posh area.

Horsetoday · 13/05/2023 09:52

Bloopsie · 13/05/2023 09:40

You dont know that,someone with endocrine problems can bleed through a pad in seconds by passing large bloods nevermind minutes or hours-lol.

I also had undiagnosed 8cmx6cm ovarian cyst through my life i have needed toilet breaks even if i literally went seconds ago as when the cyst moves it can make the person want to go again.

It is really arrogant to assume by your own experience only how often someone needs to change their pads or go for a pee or poo.

Show quote history

Complete agree @Bloopsie - assuming that because you cope with your periods in the time allocated that’s it’s going to be the same for all women is a bit lacking in thought.

Megifer · 13/05/2023 09:53

SoberPony · 13/05/2023 09:31

If you want to get into it, I think it may be fair to say it's the minority of occasions but not the minority of students as I think there are occasions throughout their school life when most students would have a go at skipping a class they hate. But I'm not sure it's particularly important. More importantly is that it isn't just occasions when they are "taking the piss" which are problematic. It's when they potentially run into another student who doesn't like them and there aren't any staff members around due to them being in class or the occasions when the student is feeling very overwhelmed and leaves the class but the teacher thinks they've just gone to the toilet when they actually are having a crisis.

Sorry I don't understand what you're getting at (genuinely I'm not being shitty there!)

I'm just saying its a small number of students who might take advantage of a toilet break to do things other than go to the toilet. This is certainly true in my DC school and I think that's across the board, otherwise were saying most students take the piss which I think is a bit unfair?

SoberPony · 13/05/2023 09:55

I don't think you're being shitty at all! You don't have to get it.

I was only responding (slightly light heartedly) to you saying it was a minority of pisstakers. It is a wider problem than that. Saying no to toilet breaks isn't a punishment. That would be insane. It is a safeguarding issue. If you disagree or don't get it that's that though.

Whyarewehardofthinking · 13/05/2023 10:01

Mooshamoo · 13/05/2023 08:10

Yes I've had loads of jobs. In every job, I've been able to go to be toilet

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Not all jobs are like that.

I can't. I can't leave a class. If I teach all morning and have a duty it can be 5 hours before I can go.

My Tuesdays have me with students from 9am until 2.15 if we include the 2 duties I also do that day. If I'm in my period that Tuesday I have to swap a Dury with someone so that I know I can go to the toilet in thr middle of that.

Bloopsie · 13/05/2023 10:01

Horsetoday · 13/05/2023 09:52

Complete agree @Bloopsie - assuming that because you cope with your periods in the time allocated that’s it’s going to be the same for all women is a bit lacking in thought.

Show quote history

Yeah was meant to say bloodclots,i would pass easily 4-6cm bloodclots followed by stream of blood and i would be soaked within seconds not just 2-3 night pads but clothes too.

My doctor at the time brushed it off as they will settle eventually, when I left school I found out i had endocrine problems.

Luckily i didnt go to school in the UK and could use the toilet regardless if someone else from the class needed one, how humiliating for someone having to sit through passing clots and sitting on them and i could also stay at home with no threats of fines to my parents for weeks on time.

Megifer · 13/05/2023 10:02

SoberPony · 13/05/2023 09:55

I don't think you're being shitty at all! You don't have to get it.

I was only responding (slightly light heartedly) to you saying it was a minority of pisstakers. It is a wider problem than that. Saying no to toilet breaks isn't a punishment. That would be insane. It is a safeguarding issue. If you disagree or don't get it that's that though.

Maybe I'm just a bit too trusting of our kids. Although DC school did openly admit it was only a small number of kids causing issues so i guess i assumed that's true in most schools. I would be surprised if it wasnt.

SeatonCarew · 13/05/2023 10:07

Toddlerteaplease · 13/05/2023 08:40

We just changed pads/ went for a wee between lessons if we needed to. I'm really not seeing why a it's such an issue. Lessons aren't any longer than an hour usually.

Then you were clearly very blessed with your periods. Not everybody is.