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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be this upset a bully who reports me to police gatecrashed coronation street party

275 replies

HairySatsuma · 11/05/2023 15:29

Having singlehandedly organised a street party last year for the jubilee - inc risk assessment, paying for insurance, street notices, spending £500 by the end - that was a great success I stupidly did it all again this year for the coronation. I bought most of the bunting, put it up, arranged tables/chairs/canopy, decorated the canopy, went round the whole street 4x to get everyone involved, blew up an awesome balloon display, licked paper chains to decorate, contacted neighbours to remove cars, organised music, plates etc. Same as last year only a handful of lovely neighbours helped; it was pretty much all me.

But it was 'gatecrashed' by a neighbour I didn't invite who's just moved in to my building and has caused me incredible stress and anxiety - I've recently recorded high BP for the first time in my life. He's a leaseholder, I'm a freeholder and he does whatever he wants without permission. I stopped him undertaking work in a communal area about which I knew nothing. He called the police. I asked him to remove a Ring doorbell at the communal front door he was using to spy on me (not paranoid; another neighbour confirms) and when he missed two deadlines I removed it myself, told him I had no intention of keeping it but needed written assurance he wouldn't re-install it before returning it. He called the police claiming theft. Both times the police told him I was right and he needed to apologise. But the time wasted sorting all that out and writing to him to list his many misdemeanours meant I missed the deadline for official street closure which almost scuppered the whole event.

He bangs on my door, he turns up at my back door, he calls me and harangues me on the phone to the point I've had to tell him I want no direct contact with him as I consider his activity to be harassment (there's tons of other incidents). So when he walked into the party I asked him to leave. He refused and said it was his street and he therefore had every right to be there. I pointed out I'd organised the whole thing. But he was supported by two sets of neighbours who literally did nothing to help or contribute yet argued with me and then went down the pub with him when it came to clearing up (they're not friends yet; he only moved in two months ago and one of them knew of the problems).

I'm so upset that it's ruined what should have been a great day and was an even better success than last year's only because of huge cost to my time and purse. The guy's an entitled bully and I recognise him striding in to the party was part of that behaviour but it still made me cry out of anger and frustration that he was benefitting from my hard work and these two couples who just turned up and had a great time felt they could tell me what to do. AIBU?

OP posts:
aramox1 · 12/05/2023 02:25

Streetpartyzillas! Who knew a street party could be invite only? Hardly the original idea.

DisquietintheRanks · 12/05/2023 05:58

CaroleSinger · 11/05/2023 20:57

They say that in almost all neighbour disputes the complainant is almost always the source of the problem. It really does sound like you have an issue with people living their own lives the way they choose to. It sounds like you finally met your match and he isn't prepared to be bullied by you. Stop antagonising your neighbours and perhaps find a hobby. You do seem to have an awful lot of time on your hands.

Sorry but this is bollocks. There are usually very clear rules about what can happen in communal areas of flats and its not OK for residents of the block to just ignore them.

PegasusReturns · 12/05/2023 07:47

He fits a recording device without permission against data protection law

data protection law does not prohibit the domestic use of CCTV/ring door bells. If you actually read the link some other misguided poster provided on the matter it’s very clear and I guarantee I know the law here better than the “ROZZERS”.

you are in the wrong here. Your neighbour may also be in the wrong but already he is forming alliances with the people around you. Move on before this destroys you.

TimesRwo · 12/05/2023 08:31

Did the police give him a detention as well as making him apologise to you?

Goodoccasionallypoor · 12/05/2023 09:28

What kind of building do you live in? I haven't come across a block of flats where some owner occupiers own their share of the freehold and some don't. Are you the sole freeholder for the entire building? If you are, that's probably his issue.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 12/05/2023 09:31

Everyone agrees I had no right to tell him to FO even though he's made my life a misery since last year and turning up was pretty obviously an act of provocation when you can't have your cake and eat it

Well yeah, it's not your street so you can't police who comes. Whether you like them or not. You have no right to say someone can't go. Get over yourself.

Dishwashersaurous · 12/05/2023 09:58

Your were outside his window

Modda · 12/05/2023 10:44

He turned up to fuck you off and he's succeeded.

I bet he's delighted.

You should have just ignored him and hope he left early.

Modda · 12/05/2023 10:45

Also is ROZZER supposed to be funny? You're sounding like James May

Roundandnour · 12/05/2023 10:57

Goodoccasionallypoor · 12/05/2023 09:28

What kind of building do you live in? I haven't come across a block of flats where some owner occupiers own their share of the freehold and some don't. Are you the sole freeholder for the entire building? If you are, that's probably his issue.

Some do get confused about freehold and leasehold.

Had it happen on the block I live. Owners have to pay towards things like roof repairs, one really believed they owned the freehold as a result, even though it was all in the documentation. It was because of this they hated when I went into the communal gardens as they believed I was trespassing, because I pay communal area fees don’t you know, and this part is my garden. 😂 The person turned some amazing colours when I pointed out everyone pays communal costs.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 12/05/2023 11:01

I believe ITV3 is showing a special “lost” episode of The Sweeney tonight where the rozzers foil a jewellery heist and John Thaw and Dennis Waterman make the robbers bake a cake for jeweller and tell them they’re very, very sowwy for being so naughty.

Flowertight · 12/05/2023 13:25

Did you cry in front of all your neighbours?

Butchyrestingface · 12/05/2023 13:45

I had to google what a ROZZER was. Every day's a school day.

Does it have to be typed in upper case or does that just add a certain panache?

Goodoccasionallypoor · 12/05/2023 16:02

@Roundandnour

Yeah, I was just confused about op owning part of the freehold and the neighbour being a leaseholder. I thought it was generally the case that either the whole freehold is owned by a third party or all flat owners share the freehold equally.

Divorcedalongtime · 12/05/2023 18:15

The whole street party for only certain people sounds insane.

Ifinkyourefreaky · 12/05/2023 18:34

ThereIsAnEchoInHere · 11/05/2023 15:50

gatecrashed' by a neighbour I didn't invite

Interesting you call him a bully but, presumably, invited everyone but him to the party. Bullying by omission is actually bullying too. He may be a twat but excluding him because you have issues is wrong. The other neighbours who went to the pub with him clearly don’t have issues with him. I think, unless you two are able to sort out your differences, you may find it’s you who end up the outsider whilst he -infuriatingly-ends up with everyone on his side. Just something to bear in mind.

What work was he attempting to do on the property that you objected to? Just curious.

This I'm afraid, even though I do sympathise we how you must feeling

9vrycld · 12/05/2023 19:53

You sound like the nightmare neighbour not him 😂

HarrietPoole · 12/05/2023 19:57

I agree with my that you can't stop him attending.

Street party aside, if you believe you are being harassed have you reported it to the police?

Skodacool · 12/05/2023 19:58

OP, I’m afraid you sound very much like Martin Bryce in the sitcom Ever Decreasing Circles. The neighbour does sound an absolute pain but you sound very proprietorial and full of your own importance.

Pogue4Life · 12/05/2023 20:32

He sounds horrible, I would say keep records of what he’s doing the you can contact the police yourself.
On another note, in future why not involve people in your street with parties. Rather than cover the cost of everything yourself, send out plans for a party and ask for a contribution.

JenWillsiam · 12/05/2023 20:45

Of course you’re unreasonable.

If you want a party with a guest list have it at home.

Dibbydoos · 12/05/2023 21:15

OP, this person needs reporting to the police for harassment - you need to court order to prevent contact with a power of arrest.

Who knows what he'll do. He sounds not just difficult but dangerous.

Sending you a hug, you sound lovely.

StrictlyJowita · 12/05/2023 21:23

Dibbydoos · 12/05/2023 21:15

OP, this person needs reporting to the police for harassment - you need to court order to prevent contact with a power of arrest.

Who knows what he'll do. He sounds not just difficult but dangerous.

Sending you a hug, you sound lovely.

Because he went to a party in his own street? Confused

JFM27 · 12/05/2023 21:33

I live in a block of flats and i own mine we owners all have right to mange our block.and im an official director of management company. 2 guys also owners live inflat other side of mine. One is lovely but his partner i dont get on with hes been very rude to me on several occasions so i just ignore him. I get on with all my neighbours but not him. Hes never once apologised for his rudeness so i just ignore him whilst always being pleasant to his partner. Its easy and better to ignore someone who behaves like a prat.i think, then its them not you.

saveforthat · 12/05/2023 21:39

Skodacool · 12/05/2023 19:58

OP, I’m afraid you sound very much like Martin Bryce in the sitcom Ever Decreasing Circles. The neighbour does sound an absolute pain but you sound very proprietorial and full of your own importance.

I used to love ever decreasing circles. I'm off to look up where I can watch again. RIP Richard Briers.

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