To be this upset a bully who reports me to police gatecrashed coronation street party

[HairySatsuma]

Having singlehandedly organised a street party last year for the jubilee - inc risk assessment, paying for insurance, street notices, spending £500 by the end - that was a great success I stupidly did it all again this year for the coronation. I bought most of the bunting, put it up, arranged tables/chairs/canopy, decorated the canopy, went round the whole street 4x to get everyone involved, blew up an awesome balloon display, licked paper chains to decorate, contacted neighbours to remove cars, organised music, plates etc. Same as last year only a handful of lovely neighbours helped; it was pretty much all me.

But it was 'gatecrashed' by a neighbour I didn't invite who's just moved in to my building and has caused me incredible stress and anxiety - I've recently recorded high BP for the first time in my life. He's a leaseholder, I'm a freeholder and he does whatever he wants without permission. I stopped him undertaking work in a communal area about which I knew nothing. He called the police. I asked him to remove a Ring doorbell at the communal front door he was using to spy on me (not paranoid; another neighbour confirms) and when he missed two deadlines I removed it myself, told him I had no intention of keeping it but needed written assurance he wouldn't re-install it before returning it. He called the police claiming theft. Both times the police told him I was right and he needed to apologise. But the time wasted sorting all that out and writing to him to list his many misdemeanours meant I missed the deadline for official street closure which almost scuppered the whole event.

He bangs on my door, he turns up at my back door, he calls me and harangues me on the phone to the point I've had to tell him I want no direct contact with him as I consider his activity to be harassment (there's tons of other incidents). So when he walked into the party I asked him to leave. He refused and said it was his street and he therefore had every right to be there. I pointed out I'd organised the whole thing. But he was supported by two sets of neighbours who literally did nothing to help or contribute yet argued with me and then went down the pub with him when it came to clearing up (they're not friends yet; he only moved in two months ago and one of them knew of the problems).

I'm so upset that it's ruined what should have been a great day and was an even better success than last year's only because of huge cost to my time and purse. The guy's an entitled bully and I recognise him striding in to the party was part of that behaviour but it still made me cry out of anger and frustration that he was benefitting from my hard work and these two couples who just turned up and had a great time felt they could tell me what to do. AIBU?

I think there’s fault on both sides and you are both deliberately aggravating each other and your both reacting

but leaseholder/ freeholder. Ringing police banning from street party
you do come across as a bit of a busy body with a campaign against him

I asked him to remove a Ring doorbell at the communal front door

Just for clarification:
While everything else about this thread is batshit, OP was right to do this and he was wrong. The are rules about using ring doorbells, and they cannot be put on communal property, and breach other occupants' privacy. He can only put one on his own door, angled so that it does not record activity at neighbours' doors.

OP, out of curiosity, what law prevents someone from putting a ring doorbell camera in a communal area?

Additionally, GDPR rules don't apply to individuals, only organisations.

https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/legal-updates/ring-doorbells-domestic-cctv-and-gdpr/5111162.article

If your ring doorbell records your own neighbours' property or communal property, you are in breach of the law.

... not to mention that he had no right to attach a camera to a door that didn't belong to him. So the police are right, and he was saved from a possible £100,000 lawsuit, going by that other case.

@saraclara That doesn't make sense. So it's a breach of GDPR if a camera films outside the boundaries of the property but when it comes to other types of filming, such as on a mobile phone in a public place, it is perfectly legal 🤔.

I suppose it would have to be determined what would constitute the boundaries of his property as he lives in the building.

The rest of the building is not his property. The door he attached it to was also not his property.

A ring doorbell can film your own property, and public space such as the road in front of it. It should not film your neighbors property and record their own comings and goings along their path and through their door to their property.

That's not easy to achieve of course, and there are probably a lot of people accidentally breaking the law through poorly angled cameras

But this guy's actions were deliberate, as he was recording the comings and goings of his neighbours using that communal door.

@saraclara I see what you mean. I was a little confused about the public land part but you have cleared that up.

I do agree with you, he shouldn't have done that as it is a shared entrance and should have got permission from whoever owned the building.

And as the freeholders own the building…..the OP was right to twice ask him to remove it, requests he chose to ignore. She removed it and dropped him a note to say he could have it back but it wasn’t to be reinstalled. Instead of simply getting it back from the OP he called the police accusing her of theft.

Well said @saraclara.

He’s a knob but it was a street party. Some of the things you describe I’d be passed off with - your sense of martyrdom over organising the parties would irritate me. And distinguishing between lease and freeholder is weird.

But nothing excuses him threatening you. Try to separate these things out and keep calling the police on him when his behaviour is actually anti-social or threatening.

You’re in a tricky situation as the behaviour you describe sounds potentially dangerous. But don’t mix that up with all this rubbish about street parties.

He's enjoying baiting you and you're falling for it.
You need to ignore block and rise above his behaviour otherwise your life will be a misery.

But the time wasted sorting all that out and writing to him to list his many misdemeanours meant I missed the deadline for official street closure which almost scuppered the whole event.

Well that was your choice wasn't it. You choose to prioritise writing a long letter listing his many misdemeanours, over planning the party. You can't blame him for your choice to do something entirely unnecessary.

For my part, I can't begin to imagine receiving a long letter from a neighbour listing my many misdemeanours. I can't imagine how you thought this would help the situation and make him less of a bully. Receivng that would make me more angry and difficult.

I would like to hear your neighbour's account of things. I bet there is a complete different side to this story.

He sounds terrible to have as a neighbour, but unrealistic and unreasonable to ban him from a street party.

In your position I’d have had a party in a private space. I bet he really enjoyed winding you up which is a shame, but a street party was literally an open invitation!

@saraclara I agree but the op shouldn't have sent a letter saying he wouldn't get it back until he gave her written assurance that it wouldn't be reinstalled.

I agree with that too. I was just answering the person (and other posters) who couldn't see anything legally wrong in using a ring doorbell that impinges on neighbours' privacy.

OP could presumably simply have informed whoever is responsible for the communal areas. Most blocks like this will have a management committee.

You’re lucky he only kicked it. If he’d fallen over it you’d be liable for damages.

I enjoyed it too and, of course, we all loved Martin. OP’s neighbour doesn’t sound quite so likeable.

I think pp were implying that the op was Martin.

Yes, the neighbour would be Paul, but doesn’t seem to have the same charm.

Martin was an obsessive event organizer. At the beginning of Cavaliers and Roundheads he lists off what he has done and it sounds comically similar to the OP.

One minutes 35 seconds into this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TIUZGRVkILA&pp=ygUxZXZlciBkZWNyZWFzaW5nIGNpcmNsZXMgY2F2YWxpZXJzIGFuZCByb3VuZGhlYWRzIA%3D%3D

The OP

I bought most of the bunting, put it up, arranged tables/chairs/canopy, decorated the canopy, went round the whole street 4x to get everyone involved, blew up an awesome balloon display, licked paper chains to decorate, contacted neighbours to remove cars, organised music, plates

I think you are letting him live rent-free in your head.
Yes he turned up at the street party and you didn't want him there and it was annoying.
But its over now and I do feel sorry for you because he gets on your nerves but you need to let it go for your own peace of mind.

You should just ignore him completely from now on.

If he is a leaseholder, he will have a landlord to whom he pays ground rent. This will be available online. How many freeholders are in the flats? You could join together to appoint your own Residents Association including all the freeholders (which includes his landlord) this would be a way to ensure that the terms of the lease were being met.
This also means that he would get a letter from the Association (not from you personally) if he does something against the lease. This would put him at a removed and you can avoid dealing with him personally.
You could get advice from a residential property manager on how to set this up.

In general I think you are getting way too fixated on his behaviour and this is really upsetting you. Nothing can be done about the party now. The police agreed with you and asked him to apologise. He's not moving out so you have to find a way to ignore him ( and not think about him too much) and just move on.

Re the party, it was nice of you to go to all that trouble. But you seem to resent it after the fact, because you feel that people were not grateful enough and because this guy turned up and didn't "deserve" to be there. But very often people don't realise how much effort goes into these things and they don't give out medals, they may just take or leave a Royals event party and this may come across as ungrateful, but the point is they showed up. Sometimes all the reward you can expect is that people turn up and have a nice time and sometimes that is enough.
Perhaps you should put a lot less effort into pleasing other people ( like the neighbourhood) and think more about putting that same effort into treating yourself and people who are you are more connected to.

Great post @DuckbilledSplatterPuff .

OP - you're going to need to chill out. And please stop saying "rozzers" like you're living back in the 1800s. Anyone can come to a street party who lives there, and use communal gardens; if you don't like that then hold parties in private spaces. If the other flat issues contunue to be a problem then get a managing agent to pick them up to save you the strain and direct arguments.

Also, you don't actually need insurance for a street party unless you're putting on bouncy castles or other physical activities.