Why is it ok to be violent and insulting to a woman who makes a mistake.

[whatisgoingonintheworld]

A female calls a person 'lady' in error because she thought the person was female. The person identifies as non binary. The trans manager then verbally insults and finally physically assaults the woman and the man outside.

Is this really what we have come to. A simple word and the non binary is upset and so the trans person can kick a customer from the shop, purposefully insult and then assault.

So is misgendering (even by accident) so serious it merits verbal abuse and physical violence? I mean it isn't even obvious whether the person she called 'lady' behind the counter is non binary, looks female. The trans woman manager looks male and certainly acts it!

Why are so many trans women displaying what was formally seen as masculine traits (violence) now that they identify as female.

The manager and people with the same chip on their shoulder think it’s ok.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

Yeah, I've already said, in my first post, that the employee was completely in the wrong and deserved to lose his job and whatever else happens to him. And that the woman was completely right to ask for her £10 back.
How is that denying what happened? 🤔

And trans men don’t act like this. They just get on with their lives. None of this “look at me, Day 45 of being a woman and I’m single-handedly responsible for a world shortage in feminine hygiene products - squeeee!” 🤢 No violence. Just living their lives and getting on with shit.

I might have missed this but is it known if the non-binary person reacted ? The video looks like they just stayed behind the counter.

Do Starbucks workers wear pronoun badges ?

I would be insulted by being referred to as they / them or ciswoman or any other made up new version of who I actually am.

Oh me too, but seeing as trans feelings are FAR more important than those of anyone else, I thought I would highlight that even that suggestion may make you a transphobe 😉

For those of us who have children under the age of about 30, we have to deal with issues around transgender people, on a daily basis. It wasn't this way 4 years ago, this is a recent thing, in the last five years. Before 2019, I knew no transgender people in my regular life. In 2019, a distant relative-by-marriage, under the age of 30, began presenting as a transwoman. In the last two years, several of my children's schoolfriends have begun identifying as transgender and some of the young adults are undergoing, or have declared an intention to undergo, medicalized transition. I have sat in a coffee shop with a woman friend who broke down into tears as she told me of her daughter's intention to transition. This child is in my home regularly, presenting as the opposite sex, and I am expected to police my language to pretend the child is the opposite sex. My children regulate my use of pronouns militantly and one of my children has made it clear that because I do not believe that "transwomen are women" that I am a bigot who is subject to being excluded from their life whenever they please (i.e. whenever they no longer need parental financial support). So, no, the Daily Mail is not just fanning the flames. This is a thing happening to real people in real life.

Customer gets uppity about no cash payments

would you call her “uppity” if she was a black woman???

Nonsense no one can know how they will behave in a situation until they are in it. When we have something like this we often go into flight, fight or pacify instinctively.

Years ago I've had a massive man attack my friend then try and throw a bin at her and me when she was on the floor. I was petrified but I got an adrenaline surge and stood up to him luckily just before he hit me with said bin the police came along.

I've also backed away and pacified an aggressive male a fair few times over the years.

As I've got older I take less nonsense so I'm more likely to not back down but again who knows as every situation is different.

They are displaying male aggresive traits, because they are male.

Absolutely.
One of My sons flatmates is a transwoman and called me a ciswoman. So I corrected them and said no I am a woman. They tried to start an argument about how and what I prefer to be called!
I have to say my son did stand up for me though and said the new term is unacceptable and trans people can’t chose to change everyone’s title choice.

But yes. Some of us have it in our face on a very regular basis.

How dare you call people mate! I would be furious if you called me mate, because I AM NOT YOUR MATE. I don’t know you so how can I be YOUR MATE! Now are you leaving or do I have to call you Karen, and physically clap my hands in your face, scream abuse at you and physically remove you from wherever we are? 😡

But you were defending your friend from serious injury. You weren't arguing over a coffee. If that massive man was attacking you with a bin over a coffee, would you have stayed and argued?

I'm 57. How could I have lived this long and never been subject to oppression and abuse by trans people?

Might it be because trans women make up just 0.2% of the population?

Such a tiny minority.

Yet 2 individuals with trans identities are compelling speech & being agressive and violent in one branch of Starbucks in the South of England.

We have individuals such as India Willoughby saying that women are asking for it, because apparently us uppity women on Mumsnet have caused this male to have a violent outburst.

We are seeing it everywhere. Compelled speech is seeping into society.

We have people on here who think that staff in coffee shops should have the right to refuse service if we refuse to lie about what we see.

Males are being encouraged to be violent and aggressive with middle aged women who won't go along with the gender religion. Even though we know it is harmful.

These same males want access to our single sex spaces.

Just NO.

Because many women know full well what some men can be like when they get told something they don't like/don't want to hear.

I feel the customer is not entirely blameless. She's yelling like a fishwife

because he is insulting her and screeching like a seagull whose spotted some fish guts.

what is she supposed to do?
just stand there and take his aggression meekly?

I've been called transphobic in my own home by a visiting transgender (male) relative purely because he and I have different beliefs. I am happy for him to have his beliefs. He was not happy for me to have mine. I wonder why that is.

@PollyPeptide you wouldn't argue over £10. What does that have to do with anything other than you think £10 is not worth the candle when confronted with a physically intimidating person who is is in fact, a man.

I'd think that too in my calmer moments but I have argued with men when I was in the right. That wasn't wise, but would that make me wrong? As you say, it might make me stupid but are you saying the much bigger, stronger male bodied aggressor is right and women who don't back down are stupid.

The Piers Morgan and Meghan Markle analogy is entirely fitting. This was a man who said she was lying when she said she was suicidal. I have my own views but how could he know? Just like how could you know when the woman in the incident said she was traumatised?

Having a bigger, stronger taller male-born person shouting in my face would be traumatising to me. I've had it with someone a foot taller than me bending down so close I could feel his spittle.

I've played this over a lot in the 15 years since it happened and I can't think of anything I did wrong except say something that he took the wrong way because he was mad.

The only thing that didn't make me feel threatened was that it was so surreal - why would a stranger do this to me? That and that is was in a public place. It was a business meeting and we were scheduled to meet. I was led away with his agent (he was famous) and his soppy wife saying to me: "He's had a bad day at work."

No shit, love, how do you think mine has just gone?

It's male violence and I do not understand why anyone, much less women, excuse it.

If it's not a problem for you, that's that is dandy but you don't have the right to say how any other woman feels about it whether it's a man on national telly or one in a Starbucks in Southampton

Exactly the same as me. And I was corrected with the cats mother as well.

I'm 57. How could I have lived this long and never been subject to oppression and abuse by trans people?

be grateful you, or any of your female family and friends are not in Cornton Vale, a female prison, where five trans identifying men are incarcerated. Their crimes? Rape, murder and torture. And combinations thereof. Not theft, or non-payment of fines. The very worst crimes there are.

it doesn’t affect me - but I fully acknowledge this travesty directly impacts on the safety of the females in that prison.

Good grief @aloris your kids are bang out of order. You shouldn't be spoken to like that in your home. The money tap would be turned off immediately in our house! Glad my kids bar one are all adults now - I drew the line a few times over the years - I won't be a doormat - but we are still speaking and holidaying together!

I'm waiting for that answer too.

In fairness I am not sure the person who identifies as non binary was offended, certainly in the video you see you can see the. Still serving and not upset, it’s the trans manager who kicked off

it wasn’t deliberate by the person buying the coffee and the trans manager was extremely rude, no longer has a job and will be identifiable now.

Why is it OK to be violent in these circumstances? Because women do not matter, and being ‘trans’ gives aggressive men free rein to abuse, threaten and attack them.

This isn’t the first time a woman has been violently abused and threatened by a trans woman, and it won be the last. We women are a sub class, to them - the only real women, the ones who ‘woman’ best, are trans women, and nothing can be allowed to stand in the way of their greed for validation and to assert their right to take everything women have fought for - safe spaces to use the toilet, get changed, have hospital treatment, serve prison terms, play sports on a level playing field, schemes and initiatives to support women in the workplace and academia, awards for women - the list goes on and on.