Why is it ok to be violent and insulting to a woman who makes a mistake.

[whatisgoingonintheworld]

A female calls a person 'lady' in error because she thought the person was female. The person identifies as non binary. The trans manager then verbally insults and finally physically assaults the woman and the man outside.

Is this really what we have come to. A simple word and the non binary is upset and so the trans person can kick a customer from the shop, purposefully insult and then assault.

So is misgendering (even by accident) so serious it merits verbal abuse and physical violence? I mean it isn't even obvious whether the person she called 'lady' behind the counter is non binary, looks female. The trans woman manager looks male and certainly acts it!

Why are so many trans women displaying what was formally seen as masculine traits (violence) now that they identify as female.

@izimbra undoubtedly true. But do you think the manager handled this specific situation well or poorly?

Because we’re discussing women’s rights and male aggression

As much as some of the media keeps calling it ‘culture wars’ and ‘trans issues’ and hoping women will stop talking about it, it’s unlikely because of the above. Women are often at the end of male aggression and it’s not trans issue it’s women’s rights

This is about male violence.

I’m a similar age to the woman on the receiving end of the diatribe. I was brought up to call other women “lady” as a sign of respect, and not use they or she (she is a cats mother).

How this situation got so badly out of hand is horrifying. I thought the woman stood up for herself and handled things as well as she could, under the circumstances.

I'd have sympathy for someone being filmed in a public place if they were only minding their own business and not being a jerk. Getting filmed in a public places because you're acting like an aggressive prick? It goes viral and you lose your job (in a public-facing role) due to your inability to behave like a mature adult? Good! He's acting in an unstable, threatening way, and he shouldn't be dealing with unsuspecting customers with such a thin skin and hot temper. Maybe he'll try to control himself, next time.

Same here - you say lady rather than woman as lady is the politer phrase. if the serving person is a man who thinks he is a woman I am not going to be stopping calling him lady

The manager was being violent and aggressive and I’m glad they were sacked. I really hate the term ‘Karen’ it’s sexist and ageist. The customer needs to be refunded and given an apology. However, I’m interested in what happens between the accidental miss-gendering and when the camera came out. Why did the manager say ‘you’re calling me a man’ if it was the other member of staff the customer miss-gendered? I think there might be slightly more to this story.

She didn't abuse the staff. She referred to the woman behind the counter as "lady". How on earth was she supposed to know this woman who looks like a woman identifies as non-binary? She wasn't abusive in the slightest. The trans-identified man on the other hand was terribly abusive and violent.

"The linked article as well as the OP both referred to the manager as a trans woman. If that is incorrect then I apologise."

actually the linked article says "trans manager" and the OP says identified as non binary. I only mention to demonstrate just how ridiculously easy it is to make a mistake and how unreasonable the expectations that we will be able to know and use someone else's GI even when there are clues/ hints we could have picked up on.

I'd hate to buy something in a shop you worked in.

A fishwife? A fucking fishwife? And the manager WAS disgusting! A disgusting example of unfettered male aggression and I think that he was very close to hitting her.

@PollyPeptide that sounds like Piers Morgan saying on national television that Meghan Markle wasn't suicidal. He agreed to leave that role, didn't he?

How could Morgan know what was going on in Markle's head? I didn't, so he had no right to announce that definitively. But that is what some men do about women they don't agree with and some women back them up if it suits them.

So do you know what was going on in this woman's head in that branch of Starbucks when the male born but trans identifying person confronted her?

If someone younger, taller and more physically robust than me was shouting in my face I would definitely feel intimidated even it was a woman. But this was a male-born person, wasn't it?

I agree the woman should get her money back and the manager should seek other employment in a role that does not require contact with living beings.

Where she chooses to go on holiday is neither here nor there, is it?

So many posters here are trying to prove that the woman bears some responsibility for her being physically handled, intimidated, and then traumatised by such a horrible experience.

Sadly, this is nothing new.

But saying theyre inTenerife to get over the trauma just undermines their credibility

Credibility? Did you watch the video or not? What she said happened, happened. There is no question over her 'credibility' - it's captured on film.

He was aggressive and intimidating and I would have been very scared in that situation as I am a small woman and he is massive, angry man. She did bloody well to hold it together.

A wonderful summary 😁.

The manager put her hands aggressively in the customers face.- aggression
The manager shouted and screamed at the customer - aggression
The manager refused a refund for the coffee she had paid for without allowing her the coffee - theft
The person with the phone was not in the shop, he was outside in the street on public land.

The manager assaulted the person with the phone - assault and aggression.
The manager verbally abused the man with the phone - aggression.

The manager was sacked.

👏👏👏👏

how would you feel if strangers filmed you out of context with the intention of you going viral online?? Might be legal but it would still annoy the shit out of me

People usually only start recording if someone is acting massively unreasonably though. So rather than getting aggressive with the person filming, it would probably be better to consider what exactly you are doing which prompted them to film in the first place

Calling someone a fishwife is a disgrace and on a par with calling them AKaren.

Transwomen are men.

I think that now we need to refer to everyone as they/they regardless of a preconceived notion of the person. Identifying someone incorrectly even accidently has seen major ramifications in the world and the workplace.

I would imagine that some trans women would take massive offence at being referred to as anything but She/her. After all they/them doesn't validate their 'girl/woman hood'

The manager had already lost his shit a long time ago.

he is an aggressive bully and it is great that he has been sacked so quickly.

if he’s like this in public to customers who innocently refer to a female member of staff as “a lady”, just imagine what he’s like as a manager to his staff away from the public eye.

it was disgusting behaviour.

sex is real.

this is a classic example of a man trying to intimidate a woman and throwing a violent strop when she stands her ground.

I would be insulted by being referred to as they / them or ciswoman or any other made up new version of who I actually am.

If someone is going to become aggressive or if there are going to be ‘major ramifications’ for a simple mistake of not realising someone would prefer a different title then they should wear a badge.

Quite!

If someone younger, taller and more physically robust than me was shouting in my face I would definitely feel intimidated even it was a woman. But this was a male-born person, wasn't it?

She didn't sound like a stupid woman to me. If you're in fear if your life, you don't argue over ten quid. Even she says its not a lot of money.
If you personally were in actual fear of your life because a man was threatening you, would you hang around and argue back with him?

Where she chooses to go on holiday is neither here nor there, is it?

True. I'd have the same opinion if she was in Rhodes or Florida.

I have absolutely no idea what Morgan and Markle have to do with any of this. Morgan was told he'd be sacked if he didnt apologise. He resigned because he wouldnt apologise. Not because he thought he was wrong.

This is the issue when you "don't identify " as male or female ...other people will call you what they see...he or she .
If you're going to be violent and abusive then maybe don't work with the public !