Ds went back on promise the first time he was allowed to walk to school

[UserABC12345]

Looking for a bit of advice.

Today was the first day ds10 has been allowed to walk to school by himself. Mainly because the school was opening early to provide support for the ones doing their SATs. I have a younger child so we normally all walk to school together.

There is a semi busy 30 mph road he has to cross. There's the option of crossing both lanes at once (which we normally do) or walking a little bit further up to cross at an island. This is slightly out of his way by about 2 to 3 minutes maximum as he effectively has to double back on himself.

He promised me he'd go up to the island to cross.

I asked him how his SATs went etc, how his walk went and I asked him outright which way he walked. Him and a mate crossed the road directly.

So, he's owned up. But basically said, it was fine, that he managed it as no cars, he was fine, I'm over protective, he was fine etc etc. He ended up crying etc.

I've told him I'm disappointed.

I don't want to make a big deal during SATs week but I don't feel now that I can trust him. It was the first time he's gone by himself.

AiBU to say he's spoilt it for himself and he needs to walk with me now.

Any advice.

He told you the truth, praise him for that.

Am I understanding it right, when you walk with him you cross here, but alone you expect him to go further to cross. I think if anything this is where the issue lies. If you'd always used the island to cross maybe he'd be quite happy to do the same. Also if other children are using it to cross then what's the issue. He will be at secondary school next year. You really need to let him grow up and be responsible for his.own safety, it's not like he has crossed a busy motorway.

You are going to have to trust his judgement some time.

So he has crossed the road the way you usually do and he is in trouble?
I don't think I need to say anything else.

To be fair his friend was probably saying, "oh you don't need to do that, we'll be fine", he doesn't want to make himself different and if everyone else crosses there he probably is safe.

Maybe as a compromise allow him to cross there but he has to wait for someone else to cross with him.

Or go as far as the crossing point yourself and see him across. Going with a friend also means more eyes!

Nope, he wasn't in trouble on Tuesday and he's not in trouble now.

Thanks for everyone's input. It was interesting to hear different views.

All is resolved and both me and my son are happy with the way the rest of the week went.

Surely he is old enough to know that crossing the road with an adult is one thing and crossing by himself is another. I cannot believe the people who say you should not cross in the quicker place and expect him to cross in the other. He should do as you have asked, or argue about it before he left, and you could have thrashed it out between you. Of course there is a difference crossing with an adult and crossing on his own. I would have been cross that he had agreed to do it, and then decided to change his mind.

Because of the way you reacted, he might cross in the less safe way again, but lie to you and say he used the island. This is worse.

You made him cry because he did what you've always done with him?
He's walking with a friend chatting and he's crossed the road as normal. That's called muscle memory thought by you. That's not disobedience. Honestly this is such a strange thing to read.

You haven't reacted??????
So why was he crying poor lad?