To be exasperated at fussy/picky eaters?

[Iloveabaconbutty]

Am I being unreasonable to be exasperated at "fussy eaters"? I was brought up to eat everything on my plate although as a concession my mum and dad said we were "allowed" not to like one thing - for me as a kid it was cheese I wasn't keen on (which as an adult I've actually grown to love). I also remember my mum's slight irritation - expressed lightheatedly and privately later on - at the schoolfriend who came to tea who didn't like this, didn't like that, was picky about the other, etc. and basically left everything she had prepared on his plate.

I enjoy eating pretty much everything and we've tried to encourage out kids to be unfussy eaters too, encouraging them to "try it", when they were younger, instead of getting away with saying "no" in the first instance and finding that that was acceptable.

Except that one of our daughters, now a young adult, has quite a list of things she doesn't like and won't eat - bananas, baked beans, tomatoes, porridge, just for starters. There are a lot more things as well, with particularly strong tastes or particular textures. She's also very hesitant to try anything new or different and dislikes coffee and wine. Her boyfriend is the same which makes meal planning a bit of a challenge when he comes to stay.

I'm wondering now - having read a bit about it online and elsewhere - if I'm being unreasonable about this and if there are very real issues for some people when it comes to what tastes unpleasant? ie.they really, genuinely cannot help disliking quite a wide range of foods?

I realise that my parents were brought up in the post-war years, with rationing etc and to be a "fuss-pot" about food wouldn't have been appreciated. We were brought up like this too - and to the extent that I now appreciate a wide variety of food I'm very grateful. But is this so straightforward for some people?

@Kanaloa you're homing in on the olive/wine bit, which is not the point.
If someone only eats beige it's joyless.
Not withstanding the fact that some may have issues with food, which I have reiterated a number of times. I'm talking about the big standard fusspots.

You are literally telling people what should give them joy in life.

That makes you sound like a bit of dick tbh.

Fancy food doesn't keep you alive .... you only need basic sustenance for that.
If you want to eat fancy food and it gives you pleasure the good for you. However, you and your preferences do not dictate what the rest of the population thinks or feels.

Food is fuel for some people and they get their joy and happiness elsewhere.

Bog standard.

Who's picky for the 'sake' of it, though?

Either they do or don't actually like the food. If they don't, then that's not being picky - you don't decide whether or not you like something, you just do or don't. So it's not a choice to 'pick' what foods you like and they can't help it?

(If you know someone who is pretending they don't like something to ... deliberately appear to have restricted food tastes, then yes, very odd. But I can't imagine that applies to many people...)

What you consider 'the finer things in life' would make me throw up. So, no, it's not joyless not to like them. It'd be more joyless to eat them for me.

Because you said it’s people who don’t enjoy olives and wine. But the point still stands - it may be that you’re the problem if you genuinely can’t conceive of a person managing to find joy in their life outside of eating food.

@TheMoops I'm didn't just mean fancy food - obviously that's been pounced on and I should have listed vegetables and sauces and all the things people I know wouldn't eat and then later did.

It's a shame people don't get joy from something they have to do a few times a day. I'm happy you've found it
elsewhere :)

My DH will literally eat anything but he doesn't get a huge amount pleasure from eating fancy foods ..... given a choice he'd choose an Indian or Chinese take away.
Friends of ours LOVE fine dining and eat in restaurants that offer that as often as possible.
Are they living a more joyful life than my DH?

No, just different.

@Kanaloa you're taking it all a little too literal. No worries.

I agree. It's really strange how many "picky" eaters there are these days, alongside the proliferation of obese kids. It's parents allowing them to dictate what they will and won't eat and surprise, surprise, there's not many "picky" eaters who don't like fast food, i.e. crap food. I brought my two up to eat what was on their plate or leave it and go hungry. Weirdly, they eat just about anything. Funny that....

It's a shame people don't get joy from something they have to do a few times a day. I'm happy you've found it
elsewhere :)

But you need to understand that you think it's a shame because you enjoy food. For those that don't, we couldn't care less!

Look up ARFID

I physically can't eat some food no matter how hard I try because I have an eating disorder.... funny that

How else was I supposed to take you saying people who do not eat certain foods live a ‘joyless existence?’ Did you mean it as a metaphor?

I forget how ignorant people can be, then I come here and I see a comment like this.
So as you are the expert, please tell me how I can get my DD to eat foods when she gags and retches at them? The dietitian hasn't been able to help us, but I'm sure you will 🙄

Do you want a medal?

@Forfrigz not that I'm aware of, it was just a normal cold and it all went downhill from there. But I've never heard of that so I'm off to do some googling!
Thank you.

There’s more awareness of eating disorders than there used to be historically, which is a good thing, but at the same time it makes it feel as though there are a lot of picky eaters.

And yes, we are not a nation of perfect parents. Most of us try hard to get kids eating a varied and balanced diet, but it is not a priority for everyone.

@amusedbush - or amused gueule? I felt I had to finish the pig-jobby sausage because I didn't want the rather snooty waitress thinking I was an uncultured rosbif. Husband thought it was all very funny and when I got it all down said, hopefully, 'Do you think you deserve a reward now, another carafe?' Yes, I did. It was in Nice years ago. Next night we went to Flunch where you know what you are likely to get. Flunch où les gourmands rencontrent les gourmets...

I probably seemed enormously fussy when I was a student in Lyon because good lord are they into their offal. To the point where you could do a BBC food documentary full of puns called "Offally good".

I drank lots of wine and ordered the chicken, every time. At least it didn't come with eyeballs.

Mazel tov on not having a kid with a restrictive eating disorder, I guess?

Sounds rank. Are you sure you’re actually not in prison?!

He also sounds like a bully and if he’s making you feel bad you need to put in a grievance every time he picks on you.

Agree with PP poster to tell him if he cooks something appetising that you would eat it.

Agree with you. People have it way too good nowadays. They just do not value food or understand that food is mainly for sustenance not always pleasure. I struggle to come up with two meals a day every day for the whole family. When my daughter turns her nose at food, sometimes before she's even tried it, i say to her "this is not a restaurant, you eat what mommy made or go hungry". You can't be giving them yellow food all of the time, it's not on.
If your daughter and her boyfriend are so picky tell em to cook a meal for you all for a change, see what she comes up with :)

I am extremely fussy. I genuinely can't help it. But I've got a 6 year old who will pretty much eat anything, I made sure he didn't end up like me. It's not so much tastes, it's more the texture of things. I've been to the doctors for it, I've tried therapy, even hypnotherapy. All I want is to be able to eat different foods. Unfortunately I've had social anxiety since I was a little kid, which comes with OCD, hence the textures. If I try something new and don't like the texture, I can actually be sick. Before trying new foods, I have panic attacks. I would say yes, you are being unreasonable. Sorry

I'm 33 and I don't like olives or wine. Tried them, don't like them. I always bring along my own alcohol and I'm certainly not joyless!

I wouldn’t think of myself as a fussy eater but I suppose I am in a way, but because it only concerns quite niche foods I don’t find it socially limiting:

• Oysters: globs of snot
• Sushi/sashimi: the idea of raw fish makes me gag. I’ve tried it and didn’t like the texture.
• Smoked salmon or any other type of “cured” fish, ceviche, etc.
• Steak tartare (added raw egg yolk on top for extra ick factor)
• Rare steaks: Can only do medium.
• Coriander: tastes like soap
• Cucumber: yuck but I’ll eat it if I have to
• Mayonnaise: not niche but it’s the devil’s spunk. The thought of raw egg in it makes me shiver. I love cooked eggs though.
• Red wine: tastes like stewed old socks and soil
• Blue cheese: can’t get past the idea of it.

I’ll pretty much eat anything else, including offal. I love a chicken heart.

I think where it becomes tedious is where you have people like my OH who won’t eat standard, everyday foods cheese - any cheese. Therefore we can’t have basic things like lasagne, carbonara, pizza. It makes life harder.

@CheekNerveGallAudacityandGumption Sometimes you'd think it!!! I won't even go into more detail as it would be clear where I work but it's worse than you can even imagine.
You're right though it needs addressed as there's only so many times I can hide in an empty meeting room eating crisps.... although unsure what would be worse!