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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep my son off school.

612 replies

ThankYouMama · 09/05/2023 06:31

GM.

My partner has been admitted into hospital for treatment for his OCD.

Our 6 year old son is upset and confused, our 17 month old is staying at my partners mother until he has finished his treatment and is feeling better.

Yesterday he behaved pretty badly, and is refusing to go to school today. I really don't want to send him, because I don't know how he is going to behave whilst there, and I will probably be on edge for the whole day

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 10/05/2023 17:34

rileynexttime · 10/05/2023 17:24

OP clearly gave a very one-sided view of advice from here. And did not cite people’s genuine concerns. @CheckingOutNow

Well the OP's description of responses on here seem pretty accurate to me
I explained that some of the comments were very horrible and some people even said that my children should be taken away and that I'm a bad parent, which I was really upset about.

Accurate re ops poor parenting you mean?

Onlywords86 · 10/05/2023 17:36

rileynexttime · 10/05/2023 17:07

@Onlywords86 - but that is SUCH a twisted rendering

two parents who have never worked, with severe MH problems requiring inpatient care, - they haven't got severe MH problems and the admission was through self referral at The Priory .

one child being kept off school because his mum can’t get herself organised to take him, - where did that come from ? the child hasn't been kept off school .The OP considered it because she was stressed ,feared she's have a panic attack and was concerned that the child would have a bad day at school because he too was stressed .But took him anyway .

baby being care for by MIL as parents can’t be bothered with him, the OP finds it overwhelming looking after both children when she is alone .The father,who expresses physical and verbal affection all the time to the children ,thought this would be the solution while he's away .

Mum more interested in hanging out with her friends than parenting. The OP stays out of the flat because she finds it hard to cope with her partner's OCD.

Minimal housework happening. The OP may not do much housework but her partner is always cleaning .

Why is it twisted? It was intended as kind/ practical…

greyhairnomore · 10/05/2023 17:41

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BSB30 · 10/05/2023 17:46

@greyhairnomore That's harsh and unnecessary.

BSB30 · 10/05/2023 17:47

ThankYouMama · 10/05/2023 17:25

I'm going to end things here now, I will no longer be posting, I'll leave you to talk amongst yourselves.

I'm not sure if you missed my post but I genuinely tried to help you as I know how hard it can be.

MichelleScarn · 10/05/2023 17:49

As quite a few posts have been deleted they must have been horrible,
Don't recall any horrible posts, the ones I've seen deleted were those that someone's reported to mn for 'troll hunting ' as posters were speculating the veracity of thread.
Although it was positive to see how quickly hq got involved to defend op and keen to see that this will continue going forward for all threads!

offyoufuckcuntychops · 10/05/2023 17:53

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RampantIvy · 10/05/2023 18:00

Yes, I hope the school can do something.

Barnbrack · 10/05/2023 18:01

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Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 10/05/2023 18:03

Good luck op I hope in a few days you can look back over this thread and take something from it.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 10/05/2023 18:06

I’m another one that hopes the school has noticed by mine missed the fact that both my parents were raving alcoholics with toxic codependency, who left me to try and protect my younger sibling. Rich family, of course, so it couldn’t be abuse. Money will cover up all sorts, sadly.

I have a lot of empathy reading these threads. For the children.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 10/05/2023 18:06

*But mine missed, even.

momonpurpose · 10/05/2023 18:09

There is no way on earth OP a therapist gave you that advise

LadyPenelope68 · 10/05/2023 18:27

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LolaSmiles · 10/05/2023 18:31

fitzwilliamdarcy
I'd hope so. The first rule of safeguarding is that safeguarding concerns can happen anywhere. It's drummed into us. The premise is that everyone should report any concerns, however small, and then the people (such as the designated safeguarding lead) who have more pieces will then speak to the LADO and relevant professionals.
I'm reluctant to say any more as the OP has already said quite openly she's trying to avoid social services being informed.

matchalattewithsoy · 10/05/2023 18:33

It's a really sad read and one would hope the OP would be bright enough to understand the scenario being created here, but I don't think they realise at all. And you can't force somebody who can't understand. I get very infantilised vibes from the way they post and to be honest I'm pretty relieved the younger one is with the grandparents and not the OP. That child is less at risk than the older one.

Angelil · 10/05/2023 18:45

Why did you even post OP? You clearly don’t want to take anybody’s advice.

PussInBin20 · 10/05/2023 19:07

I do think you should consider getting some help from SS OP because if you’re struggling with parenthood now, it will be a million times harder in another 6 yrs or so, when your DS1 is a tween and really starts pushing the boundaries.

You need to put in the work now to ensure they both feel safe and secure for the future. Or I fear you will be in for a rough ride.

Bananagirl23 · 10/05/2023 19:20

Not sure if you’re still reading OP but I was just going to add it takes real courage to ask for help when you need it - it sounds like you really should speak to your GP about getting your own anxiety under control.

rileynexttime · 10/05/2023 19:25

Angelil · Today 18:45
Why did you even post OP? You clearly don’t want to take anybody’s advice

Read the OP 's first post - she's thinking of keeping her 6 year old off school for the day . But after several posters advise against this she takes him in .

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 10/05/2023 19:38

Bananagirl23 · 10/05/2023 19:20

Not sure if you’re still reading OP but I was just going to add it takes real courage to ask for help when you need it - it sounds like you really should speak to your GP about getting your own anxiety under control.

I appreciate you 🤗 💐 🍷

I just can't take some of the nasty comments from people here, the worst thing is that we are all mothers here, I'm getting called a bad person but I never bully or disrespect people let alone strangers online.

It's all so exhausting and upsetting to read the nasty comments.

OP posts:
ReadersD1gest · 10/05/2023 19:39

Nobody has called you a bad person, op. Nobody.

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 10/05/2023 19:40

PussInBin20 · 10/05/2023 19:07

I do think you should consider getting some help from SS OP because if you’re struggling with parenthood now, it will be a million times harder in another 6 yrs or so, when your DS1 is a tween and really starts pushing the boundaries.

You need to put in the work now to ensure they both feel safe and secure for the future. Or I fear you will be in for a rough ride.

To be honest, it's not what you "think" I don't understand why people here are suggesting it.

If I need additional help and advice I can just pay for it.

OP posts:
BSB30 · 10/05/2023 19:42

@ThankYouMama You are not a bad person at all and you have been very honest on here which I admire you for.

Sirzy · 10/05/2023 19:43

Money can’t solve everything in life

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