Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend being weird about how I watched the coronation

163 replies

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 08:45

I’ve been feeling annoyed and confused since this happened yesterday.

I am in a ldr with my bf. We were texting on Saturday morning and he was watching the coronation. I had got it on as well, but on the iPad rather than the tv. I had things to do so it was easier to half watch bits as I could just take the iPad with me.

My son was playing on the Xbox. He’d seen a bit of what was going on when I was in the room and we had a few conversations about what was happening, so he’d taken a bit of an interest in it but generally find these occasions boring.

I told my bf I was watching on the iPad and he was shocked I wasn’t putting it on the main tv, said I was demoted to the iPad (I wasn’t I chose to watch it on there) his reaction was ‘my god, I give up’. When asked what he meant he said it was ridiculous, unpatriotic, it’s a big deal and we were both unbothered, we weren’t his type of people and said I needed to be teaching him etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think this is not a normal reaction?

OP posts:
Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:37

When you didn’t live together and wasn’t their step mum

would you have commented on parenting @spottybug?

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:38

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:35

We do now but we haven't always. I mean the bloke here is well out of line but to say I could never comment on it is a bit far imo.

Show quote history

Things like. Your daughter might appreciate some hair conditioner. Or I've noticed they keep picking out all the meat - maybe have a chat and see if they want to try veggie options?

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:38

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:37

When you didn’t live together and wasn’t their step mum

would you have commented on parenting @spottybug?

Yes!

Original poster
Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:38

@slowquickstep well at the time I put it on the iPad he was not using the tv yet.
he was on the Xbox maybe 10 mins after I’d put it on on my iPad. I was washing up in the kitchen so found it easier to watch it. I like to see bits but wouldn’t watch the whole thing religiously.

OP posts:
Original poster
Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:39

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat he’s 13

OP posts:
Norriscolesbag · 07/05/2023 09:39

If it’s the main TV, and it’s constantly being took over by your son playing Xbox…. then I can sort of see his point. It’s hard to know if he’s massively out of order with limited context.

Either way you sound ill-suited, and that’s ok.

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:41

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:36

To comment on parenting when you don’t live together - I agree with the PP. Not on.

When living together - yes

Show quote history

I completely disagree. I put those children first. Should I have let her struggle brushing her notty hair when I can see conditioner would have helped but DH didn't know about such things as he uses shampoo only?

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:41

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:38

Things like. Your daughter might appreciate some hair conditioner. Or I've noticed they keep picking out all the meat - maybe have a chat and see if they want to try veggie options?

Show quote history

but that’s not about telling them not to do something or how to do something - which is what the pp was referring to!

CindersAgain · 07/05/2023 09:41

It’s also the way he raised it. If he’d said I’m concerned that your DS gets the better option and that you’re giving up too much’ then you could have a proper chat about it and explain that’s how your parenting works etc. Him just exploding with a half formed tantrum doesn’t give you a chance to work it through.

But I bet he’s built up a load of resentment about your son ‘ruling the roost’ and has some shitty ideas that would be really hard to change.

Goodread1 · 07/05/2023 09:41

I would have laughed 😅 🤣 in his face,
for being so ridiculous 🙄 weird...

He needs to get a life, !

If you want to watch it whatever you want to that's ok, whether out of curiosity, whatever reason that's ok too,

What you do in your own place is up to you,

Who on earth does he think telling you what to do in your own space...

I think you could do a lot better than this one has boyfriend material frankly @Annoyedandconfused8

He sounds like a person who create dramas out of anything, however small insignificant something is,

Is this really the time of person spend life with @Annoyedandconfused8

He is really easy irritated gets worked up about things ,
Something else negative aspect him

Very childish person 🙄 aswell...
Not so good character trait to endure in a relationship 😕 too.

Re think this type of relationship 🤔 going forwards Op..
Ok

Pressthespacebar · 07/05/2023 09:41

He sounds like a right boring tosser. Assuming he’s not an old man I don’t know how you could fancy someone who would sit round watching the coronation, it’s not a very manly thing to do is it?

Original poster
Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:42

@Norriscolesbag it is the main tv and he’s on the Xbox a fair bit but no more than I watch my shows. It’s just give and take. If I had insisted on watching it on tv my son would have been fine.

OP posts:
spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:42

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:41

but that’s not about telling them not to do something or how to do something - which is what the pp was referring to!

Show quote history

Ok fine I also told them not to whack their younger sibling hard around the head. Does that count?

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:42

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:41

I completely disagree. I put those children first. Should I have let her struggle brushing her notty hair when I can see conditioner would have helped but DH didn't know about such things as he uses shampoo only?

Show quote history

I don’t see suggesting conditioner as getting involved with parenting!

I’d say that to a friend at playgroup if she was saying she struggled to comb out her daughters hair post wash

Goodread1 · 07/05/2023 09:42

Oops typo omissions I ment to say watch in whatever way you want to ect..

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:44

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:42

Ok fine I also told them not to whack their younger sibling hard around the head. Does that count?

Show quote history

So you were alone with the children? Essentially babysitting?

Goodread1 · 07/05/2023 09:45

@Pressthespacebar

L.o l 🤣

"He sounds like a right boring Tosser "

I was thinking 🤔 along similar lines how weird he sounds , as obviously it's not a typical male thing to do too

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:45

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:42

I don’t see suggesting conditioner as getting involved with parenting!

I’d say that to a friend at playgroup if she was saying she struggled to comb out her daughters hair post wash

Show quote history

Where do you draw the line though. If OP's (hopefully ex) had genuine concerns about her son then he should be able to raise them with her so OP can say don't worry I'm OK with that. Or whatever. The issue here is this man is an arse and insisting his way is the right way.

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:46

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:44

So you were alone with the children? Essentially babysitting?

Show quote history

Their dad was in the kitchen. Should I have got him and informed him of this and let him handle it? I wouldn't with any other children.

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:46

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:46

Their dad was in the kitchen. Should I have got him and informed him of this and let him handle it? I wouldn't with any other children.

Show quote history

So the children were in your care. Then absolutely you should have got involved

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:47

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:46

So the children were in your care. Then absolutely you should have got involved

Show quote history

They weren't in my care. I was free to vacate the room at any time

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:48

If I leave my child alone with an adult, then I’m happy for them to discipline as they see fit.

why? Because if I trust them alone with my child, I trust them. Period

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:49

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:47

They weren't in my care. I was free to vacate the room at any time

Show quote history

But he had left the room, with you there.

so he was happy with you being alone with them

any adult that I’m happy to leave my child alone with, is one that I’m comfortable that they will discipline if necessary

ShowUs · 07/05/2023 09:49

Did he have a problem because it was the coronation and it should be on the big screen or did he have a problem that your son’s game trumped you watching it?

It sounds like he was annoyed that you allowed your son to play his game on the TV and felt you should have put your foot down and not let him get his own way.

He just dressed it up as being unpatriotic as he didn’t want it to sound like he was telling you how to parent or calling your son spoilt.

Has there been any other occasions where he’s mentioned anything about your parenting/son?

Seas164 · 07/05/2023 09:52

I also start to doubt myself on some issues

OP no wonder with this tool in your ear. Get you, and more importantly your DC away from his influence before you literally can't think straight.

I cannot imagine a reason an adult would need to control via which medium another adult viewed a non compulsary broadcast. It's nuts.