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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriend being weird about how I watched the coronation

163 replies

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 08:45

I’ve been feeling annoyed and confused since this happened yesterday.

I am in a ldr with my bf. We were texting on Saturday morning and he was watching the coronation. I had got it on as well, but on the iPad rather than the tv. I had things to do so it was easier to half watch bits as I could just take the iPad with me.

My son was playing on the Xbox. He’d seen a bit of what was going on when I was in the room and we had a few conversations about what was happening, so he’d taken a bit of an interest in it but generally find these occasions boring.

I told my bf I was watching on the iPad and he was shocked I wasn’t putting it on the main tv, said I was demoted to the iPad (I wasn’t I chose to watch it on there) his reaction was ‘my god, I give up’. When asked what he meant he said it was ridiculous, unpatriotic, it’s a big deal and we were both unbothered, we weren’t his type of people and said I needed to be teaching him etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think this is not a normal reaction?

OP posts:
Itchyfleet · 07/05/2023 09:07

I was just about to say that his reaction was controlling and I’m sure if you look back there will have been other events that echo it and then I saw your next post indeed confirming there have been.

Aside the fact he sounds horrible I think there are serious warnings here about his criticism of the dynamic you have with your child. That would be an immediate bye from me. I genuinely think you ignore these sort of warning shots at your peril and I do so wish women would wake up to this sooner and get themselves out and save years of misery for them and their children.

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:08

@Whataninsight about 250 miles. Usually for a few days.

OP posts:
RagzRebooted · 07/05/2023 09:08

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 08:54

Thanks for the replies. I do think it is very weird and there has been things like this before where I feel he is saying how I do something is wrong. It seems particularly ridiculous as it’s usually about what I’d see about fairly trivial things.

He's waving a red flag, pay attention.

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:10

@RagzRebooted Thanks, I do agree it’s very much not normal and a red flag. I think if a friend was saying this stuff to me I’d be thinking this is madness but when you’re in a situation it’s obviously a bit trickier to see sometimes as it’s mixed in with good things as well. I also start to doubt myself on some issues.

OP posts:
Ollifer · 07/05/2023 09:11

No man will ever comment on how I parent MY child and how we do things in our own house. Absolutely fuck that. It starts as something small like this op but it will keep happening. Very bizarre behaviour but at least he's showing you now before you're even deeper in it.

Ragwort · 07/05/2023 09:11

It sounds very controlling of him to 'tell you' what you should and shouldn't watch. Sounds like the sort of man who would try to tell you how to volte.

Personally I loved watching and spent all day watching and the highlights we are on holiday and I had already told my DH that's what I planned to do, he watched a bit but then did his own thing, he wouldn't dare tell me what to do. Likewise if he wanted to spend the whole day watching a golf competition on tv I wouldn't be bothered at all.

My best friend is a real Republican ... we had a few light hearted banter comments throughout the day on WhatsApp but in no way would it affect our long standing friendship.

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:13

Ollifer · 07/05/2023 09:11

No man will ever comment on how I parent MY child and how we do things in our own house. Absolutely fuck that. It starts as something small like this op but it will keep happening. Very bizarre behaviour but at least he's showing you now before you're even deeper in it.

Really? My DH appreciates my input and I'm a stepmum. I don't tell him what to do but if I think he's been a bit harsh or his kids need taking out or something I mention it to him. That or they'll get bored. I care about those kids.

VainAbigail · 07/05/2023 09:15

I also watched it on my iPad, but in the hairdressers! Your partner would very much hate this!

Chandalie · 07/05/2023 09:15

Red flags, Red Flags.. Control, rudeness and totally wrong attitude for you and your son.. If you want to watch the Coronation on your Ipad that's fine. If your son is not interested in it as many children weren't that's fine as well.

Why is this guy creating an argument out of nothing with you for.? Trying to tell you what to do in your own home. Next he'll be arguing passionately over something insignificant like 'how to chop onions' or how to 'fold socks' ..

GraysPapaya · 07/05/2023 09:16

How odd! I’m really into it all and I watched it on my phone and my laptop as the kids still had their activities!

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:16

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:08

@Whataninsight about 250 miles. Usually for a few days.

Then will be easy to fade away

surely you don’t want this man around your son?

Chandalie · 07/05/2023 09:16

BTW I watched it on my phone.

AnyMucca · 07/05/2023 09:17

If he was that bothered about being patriotic he wouldn't be talking to you while it was on. Sounds like an excuse to needle you.

readbooksdrinktea · 07/05/2023 09:17

That's beyond weird. Time to call it a day after those comments, I think. If you're not 'his type of person,' don't waste your time.

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:18

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:13

Really? My DH appreciates my input and I'm a stepmum. I don't tell him what to do but if I think he's been a bit harsh or his kids need taking out or something I mention it to him. That or they'll get bored. I care about those kids.

But you live together? Correct? Very different if you don’t

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:19

Op please say this man has not met your son and you have no intention of that ever happening

Changingplace · 07/05/2023 09:21

I’d agree with him wholeheartedly that nope, we’re not ‘your people’ whatsoever and hun him off completely, what an absolute weirdo, red flags all over the show.

Changingplace · 07/05/2023 09:22

Lol ‘bin’ him off not ‘hun’ him off!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 07/05/2023 09:26

I've skimmed the thread. Someone who won't let it drop and goes on at you over trivial things is not the person you want to be in a relationship with. Especially when you have a child.
Have a watch of some Dr Ramani videos and see if anything strikes a chord with his behaviour.

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:27

@Wavescrashingonthebeach thanks for the recommendation. I will take a look

OP posts:
Toomanylatenightprogs · 07/05/2023 09:31

Definitely odd and a red flag for a domineering attitude. You say there’s been other signs as well so maybe it’s the time to make him an ex bf.

slowquickstep · 07/05/2023 09:35

Was your Son using the tv for his x-box ?

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:35

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:18

But you live together? Correct? Very different if you don’t

We do now but we haven't always. I mean the bloke here is well out of line but to say I could never comment on it is a bit far imo.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/05/2023 09:36

How old is your son? Everyone is assuming 'child', but he could be 32 for all we know.

But boyfriend is still bang out of order. Your TV, your decision to watch or not watch.

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:36

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:35

We do now but we haven't always. I mean the bloke here is well out of line but to say I could never comment on it is a bit far imo.

To comment on parenting when you don’t live together - I agree with the PP. Not on.

When living together - yes

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