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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriend being weird about how I watched the coronation

163 replies

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 08:45

I’ve been feeling annoyed and confused since this happened yesterday.

I am in a ldr with my bf. We were texting on Saturday morning and he was watching the coronation. I had got it on as well, but on the iPad rather than the tv. I had things to do so it was easier to half watch bits as I could just take the iPad with me.

My son was playing on the Xbox. He’d seen a bit of what was going on when I was in the room and we had a few conversations about what was happening, so he’d taken a bit of an interest in it but generally find these occasions boring.

I told my bf I was watching on the iPad and he was shocked I wasn’t putting it on the main tv, said I was demoted to the iPad (I wasn’t I chose to watch it on there) his reaction was ‘my god, I give up’. When asked what he meant he said it was ridiculous, unpatriotic, it’s a big deal and we were both unbothered, we weren’t his type of people and said I needed to be teaching him etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think this is not a normal reaction?

OP posts:
tigger1001 · 07/05/2023 08:56

Op, I would be seriously reconsidering my relationship if I was in your shoes. His behaviour is very odd and controlling.

I get some people wanted to watch the coronation. I would never make fun of them for doing so. But equally it's ok not to watch it. And I would never force my children to watch something they didn't want to.

If he was that patriotic he would have been giving the coronation his full attention and not speaking to you.

OrigamiOwls · 07/05/2023 08:57

"we aren't his type of people" is definitely a concern

hettie · 07/05/2023 08:58

Did he try and 'influence' control your views about other things? Your voting intention/spending plans/fashion/how you rear your son. Have a long think because it may be happening in other areas too (just initially more subtle than this petulant outburst). He's being a being ridiculous and controlling. You could watch it how you like or could choose not to and have unfurled a banner saying 'not my king' as long as you weren't near enough to be caught on camer because that's illigal protest apparently. Nothing to stop him being and ardent royalist and you being happy to dip in and out. If he can't tolerate a tiny bit if divergence from his way of doing things, he's shown you who he is. I would be ending the relationship because that need to control will only get worse.

WaitingForSunnyDays · 07/05/2023 08:58

Out of interest, is he in the military? Some (definitely not all ) still have the whole chain of command respect thing, and expect everyone else to feel the same.

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 08:59

@Alargeoneplease89 I think he sometimes does think this but I genuinely don’t think it’s true at all.

I genuinely like watching stuff on my iPad and wouldn’t have had it on the tv anyway.

OP posts:
EvergreenDream · 07/05/2023 08:59

I didn’t watch it all, watched the main crowning of Charles and a bit of them in the gold carriage, the three cheers for Charles and then I had to go out to a charity event.

I would keep your LD boyfriend well and truly in the distance! He sounds very odd and controlling.

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:00

@WaitingForSunnyDays no not in the military.

OP posts:
spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:00

we weren’t his type of people I mean it's quite clear he no longer thinks you're compatible so I think it's time to call it a day. And good riddance to him.

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:00

How long have you been with him and how often do you actually get together in person?

DeadButDelicious · 07/05/2023 09:00

No that's not ok OP.

On the surface it may just look like taking the coronation a bit too seriously but scrape it a little bit and I'd be very concerned about how he views your child and how things could play out if he were to move in for example. His use of language 'demoted' for example and saying you aren't 'his type of people' is concerning to say the very least.

Chuck this one back OP.

5foot5 · 07/05/2023 09:01

When asked what he meant he said it was ridiculous, unpatriotic, it’s a big deal and we were both unbothered, we weren’t his type of people and said I needed to be teaching him etc.

It does sound like perhaps the two of you aren't really well suited.

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:01

Alargeoneplease89 · 07/05/2023 08:55

Maybe its a mix of things, do you let your son always have his xbox on if you want to watch something? Does he feel your son controls you?

On the other hand I would find it a bit odd and controlling for your boyfriend to say something like that.

I did think maybe it was this. And that he thought son is missing out on a "historical moment" but the more I read the more I thought nah he's just an arse

EV4ME · 07/05/2023 09:01

We went to see Eurovision in Liverpool yesterday. 🤷🏼‍♀️

itsgettingweird · 07/05/2023 09:01

NewLifter · 07/05/2023 08:46

I don't know what LDR is, but it sounds like he isn't the one for you!

Long distance relationship.

No that's VERY odd. Run for the hills and be grateful you don't have to move away because your already distant!

spottybug · 07/05/2023 09:01

5foot5 · 07/05/2023 09:01

When asked what he meant he said it was ridiculous, unpatriotic, it’s a big deal and we were both unbothered, we weren’t his type of people and said I needed to be teaching him etc.

It does sound like perhaps the two of you aren't really well suited.

Yes and that's ok. Time to move on OP

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:02

@Whataninsight We’ve been friends for years, together for a few years. We see each other when we can but due to distance and commitments it’s not hugely often, we aim for around once a month.

OP posts:
Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:02

Imagine how awful this man would be to your son if you ever move in with him (PLEASE DON’T!!!)

pictoosh · 07/05/2023 09:02

So this is a man who thinks he defines the bar on how you should do things so that they are synonymous with his agenda. Even watching tv.

What did he say when you told him to mind his own fucking business?

Ok, I'm being glib...but seriously, why would you entertain this shit?

MzHz · 07/05/2023 09:02

sleeplessinsouthhampton · 07/05/2023 08:48

grim

where's he get off telling you what to do in your own home

AAND he’s judging @Annoyedandconfused8‘s parenting/child.

kick this LDR even further down the road

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:03

@EV4ME sounds like fun. I love Eurovision!

OP posts:
Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:03

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:02

@Whataninsight We’ve been friends for years, together for a few years. We see each other when we can but due to distance and commitments it’s not hugely often, we aim for around once a month.

You try to get together once a month…. For how long?

how far away are you both?

Whataninsight · 07/05/2023 09:04

Does he have children? Ever met your children?

EV4ME · 07/05/2023 09:05

Annoyedandconfused8 · 07/05/2023 09:03

@EV4ME sounds like fun. I love Eurovision!

It was brilliant!

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 07/05/2023 09:06

What a very odd thing to say! I’d be seeing this as a big red flag & walk away OP. He’s trying to mess with your head.

NotTonightDeidre · 07/05/2023 09:06

Break it off whilst you still have the chance. This is absolutely not a normal relationship dynamic.
He could have his own parade with all these red flags. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩