Told to leave a group.

[MobilityCat]

I got into trouble at a meeting of people with a common interest. In the beginning, I explained that I had ADHD and asked that if I said anything inappropriate, please tell me, and I'll apologise and stop.
Guess what happened?. I did say something, and instead of telling me to stop, someone challenged my statement, and it went downhill after that.
A lady sitting next to me said that she also had ADHD, but that I should have recognised a line that I should not have crossed.
I told her that I didn't have that ability, I only knew if I got it wrong by the reaction it produced, good or bad.
She told me that wasn't true. She was also prone to inappropriate speech and behaviour but knew what boundaries she shouldn't cross.
Anyway, I was banned from the group, which was hurtful but not unusual. ADHD has cost me friends, jobs, and strained family relationships all my life.

The question was your racial heritage not your skin colour.

Is there a reason you don’t answer that question?

If you read the very first post, you will see it in context.

People are asking for your ethnic background.

Discussing the checklist was what started it.

Started what?

You said it was a group then you said it was a job.

Which is it?

If you read the very first post, you will see it in context.

If there is one thing missing from you throughout it is context

Read the OP

The op doesn't help.

You say it's a group with a common interest but later you talk about a job. Which is it?

That’s not correct. It also includes impulsivity. Doing things without thought. But that doesn’t mean you don’t know the impulsive thing was wrong. And in the case of the op they absolutely knew.

You've listed nationalities rather than race.

English is not a race.

Read the OP

Or you could just answer the question!

You mentioned a meeting then went on to say you got the job because of experience and qualifications.

So can you maybe just answer because reading your OP (again) hasn't helped.

Maybe you need to find better coping mechanisms in that case. Go back to the psychiatrist you spoke to who diagnosed you and explain that you have been unable to control yourself from shouting inappropriate answers in church, making inappropriate comments, and have resorted to asking people you have just met to police your behaviours which leads to conflict. Ask them to support you in setting out more appropriate social behaviours.

Well now you're just continuing with your fucking ignorance aren't you?

I'm assuming it's some kind of group within the organisation where OP works - like a working group or sth. But OP could just be a bit more straightforward and say so!

I don’t quite comprehend why they have taken such offence they’ve asked you to leave and banned you. When you said you were challenged and then it went wrong, can you explain further what actually happened?

also was there anyone there that could have been “choosing” something else. Was someone else African there?

as it stands, you were born in Africa. It is totally fine to say you’re African. The choosing to be is an odd way of putting it. But it shouldn’t be enough to cause such offended you’re banned, so there must be something more here.

If the form asks for nationality, put that.
If the form asks for race, put that.
English is not a race. English people can be any race.
African is neither race not nationality - I've never seen a form that said African. They normally say black African or black.
They normally have Other or Prefer not to say or maybe even Mixed Race.

If you are descended mainly from white European ancestors, and look white, I don't know why you'd want to pick Black on the form.

Anyway you have an abrasive manner on this thread, and obviously have trouble communicating clearly. I think you got into an argument and got aggressive and that's why you were asked to leave - probably nothing to do with what you actually said.

I think the back and forth and 'Read the OP' from you @MobilityCat just shows how convoluted communication can be, rather than straightforward, leading to many people trying to fill in the blanks.

I agree with @Kanaloa who suggests you go back to your psych and ask for support and strategies to use. If that is problematic (I guess waiting times are currently long!) try looking at this link and emailing them detailing your issues re communication and asking to be signposted to support in your area.
https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/

I thought it was pretty clear. The OP was asked to fill in a form at work and then was talking about this form at a different group she went to. Not sure why so many people are having such trouble with this.

@Jourdain11

I'm assuming it's some kind of group within the organisation where OP works - like a working group or sth. But OP could just be a bit more straightforward and say so!

It would be much more sensible to have said this is related to paid employment then, because that would carry very different consequences.

thought it was pretty clear. The OP was asked to fill in a form at work and then was talking about this form at a different group she went to. Not sure why so many people are having such trouble with this.

Ah I see, I'm having trouble because I'm autistic and have ADHD and often miss things that are not straight forward hence asking OP to clarify when I wasn't sure.

Guess what happened?. I did say something, and instead of telling me to stop, someone challenged my statement, and it went downhill after that.

They did tell you to stop. They challenged you. And you carried on.

That said, I'm not sure you did anything terrible from your description of the incident.

Hmm maybe being a bit unfair here. Do you know the difference between the Netherlands and Holland? Lots of non Dutch people don't. I'm sure there are lots of similar examples in Africa too, that us Europeans would not be aware of.

Yes... most people would have just clarified rather than saying "read the op" repeatedly. I think that we can see how the op came to get thrown out!

I think the issue is: I simply said to the group that if people could choose their pronouns, gender and sensuality, why can't I be African.

It is deliberately provocative. For a start, people don't "choose" their sexuality and ethnicity isn't something you choose either.

So you'd have not felt the need to explain if the person had just said "stop"? You wouldn't have wanted to put your view across any more?

Is that actually what you need? A hand up gesture and a "stop now"? Because if you and I were conversing, unless you'd explained that to me exactly like that as what you needed, there's absolutely no way I'd do it because I would find that rude and inappropriate.