Why don't people want to use paid childcare

[cadburyegg]

I've noticed irl some people have a bit of an aversion of using paid childcare like wraparound care, holiday clubs etc because they don't want strangers looking after their children. Their children are in school though so they are being looked after by "strangers" all day.

So they rely fully on their kids grandparents who are often not available so if their shifts clash with their OH then they are stuck but they still won't consider using childcare. They talk about how hard it is to juggle everything too.

These are fairly well off families with mc lifestyles and holidays 3x a year so it's not like they can't afford it. I guess they don't want to spend the money on childcare.

AIBU to not understand this? I'm a single parent and rely on after school clubs and holiday clubs etc. I'd find not knowing what childcare arrangements are happening from one week to the next really stressful!

coffeecupsandwaxmelts
I would agree with you, if the poster had said that people saying they can't ever go out because they can't get childcare is unreasonable when they're openly choosing not to use the options out there. I'd totally agree with you that those people could if they used a range of services available and by choosing not to that's their choice.

But that's not what the poster said. They said people who don't use babysitters because they don't want strangers looking after their children are ridiculous, with some people confusing babysitting with registered childcare providers and schools.

People have different circumstances and different thresholds of what they consider acceptable for their situations.

I'd not consider someone who's more cautious than me to be ridiculous. They're just making different decisions for their family.

I baby sat alot when I was younger, I never met any of the kids, I was and still am a stranger to them

I used nursery when dd1 and ds were little because I had to go back to work to save for a house deposit otherwise we would have remained in a living situation that was becoming increasingly difficult. There was a lot of guilt on my part because I do believe they would have been happier with me and had a better level of care. With our dd2 dh compressed his hours so that she doesn't need to go to childcare. She is better off in my opinion being with her dad who is a very engaged parent, knows her routine and doesn't have other kids to take care of until our older two get in from school.

As for using a babysitter, it's not the done thing in my culture but that's not really a valid excuse. I don't feel comfortable having someone take care of my children one on one when I'm not present. In a school they are with 20-30 other kids so that is different.

People often get defensive over this just because you've used childcare and someone else hasn't doesn't mean they are judging you. I'm just trying to do what is best for each of my children.