Why don't people want to use paid childcare

[cadburyegg]

I've noticed irl some people have a bit of an aversion of using paid childcare like wraparound care, holiday clubs etc because they don't want strangers looking after their children. Their children are in school though so they are being looked after by "strangers" all day.

So they rely fully on their kids grandparents who are often not available so if their shifts clash with their OH then they are stuck but they still won't consider using childcare. They talk about how hard it is to juggle everything too.

These are fairly well off families with mc lifestyles and holidays 3x a year so it's not like they can't afford it. I guess they don't want to spend the money on childcare.

AIBU to not understand this? I'm a single parent and rely on after school clubs and holiday clubs etc. I'd find not knowing what childcare arrangements are happening from one week to the next really stressful!

Firstly it's expensive.
Secondly, my children don't really like going to after school club. They just want to chill out at home after school, so having granny pick them up is preferable.
They don't mind going to specific holiday clubs (dance ,drama, tennis, sailing, etc) but they don't enjoy the regular ones and they wouldn't want to go for more than a week at a time. I try to break the holidays up so they spend as little time in childcare as possible

I have to be honest I wouldn’t use an unknown baby sitter and don’t know anyone who does holidays clubs etc aren’t the same imo but I wouldn’t hire someone online to look after my kids alone in my house I would rather just not go out

Ladykryptonite · Today 08:59
People who won't pay for babysitters because they don't like strangers looking after their kids are ridiculous”

Why?

Me too

Why is everyone equating "babysitter" with "random stranger you found online"?

Because some of us have no one to babysit irl so would have to look online for a professional one? Not everyone knows people who can babysit? I dont.

We have no family help so would be reliant on holiday clubs if I didn't work term time. I choose to work term time to save the headache of finding a holiday club every time a school holiday comes round rather than not wanting to pay out for it.

As for babysitters of an evening - I wouldn't want to find a total stranger on an app/website and leave them in my home with my toddler who doesn't like unfamiliar people - we ask a friend once in a blue moon and otherwise don't bother going out. Again, nothing to do with cost - though it would have to be for a good reason for me to be willing to double the cost of a night out with babysitting fees too.

Why is everyone equating "babysitter" with "random stranger you found online"?
Because the claim up thread was that people who don't use babysitters because they don't want to leave their children with strangers are ridiculous.

And then there's the suggestion that kids are looked after by strangers at school/nursery, when it's fairly obvious there's a difference between a formal setting and an unknown adult coming into your house.

Obviously people have different views about leaving their children with strangers.

I don't think it's ridiculous to not want to leave my children with a stranger (or someone they've met once or twice) so I can have a night out. Other people might decide they're happy with that, and that's their choice.

I'd happily allow a neighbour's or friend's child babysit because I know them and my children know them

Right, but that doesn't mean you need to ask a total random off the internet to come and care for your children without getting to know them first.

A decent babysitter will be happy to meet you and the DC beforehand. They'll do a trial for a couple of hours while you stay at home or pop out for coffee, etc. You're not just leaving your child with someone you've never met - you get to know them before you decide whether you're comfortable leaving them with your DC.

Most nurseries and schools will have staff who will happily do weekend/evening babysitting as well, so you probably don't even need to look online. You could also try local childminders or after school clubs to see if their staff fancy making some extra money.

No chance.

I'd happily allow a neighbour's or friend's child babysit because I know them and my children know them

But the only way your children can get to know a babysitter is for you to hire them and use them regularly, surely?

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to use neighbours or family, so if they want to go out without their children, they have no choice but to use a babysitter.

That doesn't mean they're leaving their kids with total strangers.

Oh I should add mine never went to nursery so don’t know any of the staff there and their school wouldn’t do babysitting it would be very inappropriate to ask that. I dont think it’s normal for school staff to babysit?

What do you mean "no chance"?

There's no chance you'd ask a local teacher or nursery assistant to come and care for your kids? Or there's no chance you'd try and get to know a local sitter with a good reputation and references?

I added above mine didn’t go to nursery and asking at their school would be very inappropriate again do schools do that? That’s very odd I’ve never heard of that but no I wouldn’t leave them with someone from online even if I met them a couple of times that’s still a stranger in my eyes. I would rather not go out.

A lot of after-school staff or TA's around here offer babysitting on the side - I wasn't referring to the actual class teachers.

I'm not sure why that would be inappropriate? It's very sensible to me - the children are left with someone they know, and the parents know the staff are checked and have appropriate qualifications.

It's 100% the norm where I live and makes perfect sense IMO.

X-posted with you, but yes, schools do that. At least, they do here in NW England. They also have a list of recommended childcare providers for holidays and weekends.

Ah that’s different yes ours do that but the staff don’t babysit.

For people who don't have the luxury of friends and family to babysit, then indeed, a babysitting agency, or local babysitter, is a god send, but then I was never that precious about the stranger aspect

Our 'childcare' has cost a bloody fortune so far! Nursery, private school, after school club and various holiday clubs. And we get loads of help from GP as well!!

I'm not really sure how you are meant to work (5/6 weeks hol a year) and not use childcare when kids have more than twice that!

I have met a lot of young (to me...so mid-late 20s) teachers socially who have offered to babysit for me, but again it's the issue of how to make the time to build a relationship between them and my kids. And what someone offers while a few sheets to the wind at a party can be different in the cold, sober light of day 😁 It would be nice to go to a party with my DP rather than take it in turns, but hey ho, obviously DC come first.

The cost of childcare is extortionate. Dh and I wouldn't be able to afford ds childcare if we have a second child so we have to wait longer than we should want to try in order to afford it without having to pull ds back out after settling him and lose his place. I'd much rather my ds was looked after by people I knew and trusted. When we were viewing nurseries we were told their policies around safeguarding and I witnessed breaches of those policies in a number we visited which immediately ruled them out for me.

Same reason the cheapskates will put a request on FB every year to borrow suitcases instead of buying their own.

Childcare is not “extortionate”, by the way. It’s inadequately funded and your wages are too low.

It’s not just about the cost. Personally, despite working at my schools after school club for a few years, I dont think it’s good for them when they’re still little. No matter how lovely the staff are or how exciting and engaging they make the activities, young children just want to go home after a day at school.

@Tanith it's extortionate to me because it's inadequately funded and my wages are too low (despite the useless strikes).

I think you mean "unaffordable", Branstontickle, unless you think the childcare providers are greedily ripping you off.
Blame where it's due, please.