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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Council House advice

229 replies

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 14:02

Hope everyone is well. I am a Mommy of a ACC baby . It means Agenisis of the corpus collosum. My son is a bit delayed in development. He is going to be 4 in August and I am struggling with his potty training. If you look at him he seems perfectly normal but living with him is a story for another day . Anyway we live with my inlaws and my son finds it hard coping. When my family (my inlaws have a large family ) come over , he can't tolerate it . He starts crying and screaming, banging doors and throwing toys and becomes very upset. He needs his own place. My husband can't afford a house and I don't work, I am a SAHM to two boys. We have applied for social housing but I'm currently on position 105 200 on flats , and on houses its in 400s and 300s. Could anyone advise us how to go up the band ? We are on band c and we really need the house 🏡

OP posts:
ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:20

@5128gap yer what??

TheShellBeach · 05/05/2023 15:20

ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:17

If you were lucky enough to get a house or flat then how would you afford it if you are struggling now with zero rent and housing costs?

Housing benefit.

NoTouch · 05/05/2023 15:21

@Dishwashersaurous list of what you need to do was pretty comprehensive.

You and your dh need to either do whatever is needed to change the bed you have made for yourselves, or lie in it.

ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:21

@TheShellBeach and gas? Electric?water? Council tax? Tv/wifi?

All currently provided free

Also, housing benefit are unlikely to cover all the rent

MetalFences · 05/05/2023 15:21

Thank you hun !

🙄

It probably took that poster ten minutes to write that post trying to help you. You are being really aggressive in your responses.

There are some very knowledgeable women on MN who are willing to share information to help other people.

If you are not willing to make any changes then why did you post?

ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:22

Have a feeling the 'D'H only works part time

ilovesooty · 05/05/2023 15:22

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:13

Thank you to everyone who gave genuine advice. To the bored women coming on here looking for a little bit of a thrill on attacking people who have come on this for advice, shame on you . It is mum's net , not trolls net.

You've accused posters of racism and now of trolling.

That's unfair.

QuillBill · 05/05/2023 15:22

If your son has a nursery place can you get a job whilst he's there?

5128gap · 05/05/2023 15:23

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 15:19

How is it not reasonable for her to live in?

Show quote history

She is living with another family in overcrowded conditions that are unsuitable given her child's disability. Its not necessary to be on the streets to apply under homelessness legislation unsuitable or overcrowded conditions may suffice.

trisfreya · 05/05/2023 15:24

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:03

I already said my husband pays the bills, clothing , food , tuition bills and mosque bills and he doesn't earn that much . We are trying to save what we can save .

Show quote history

What are you paying tuition for? What bills are you paying in the house? you are not paying rent, you're obviously staying with inlaws to save money -

You need to work out what your incomings and outgoings are, then look at what income you have left and what you can save

Deathbyfluffy · 05/05/2023 15:24

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:13

Thank you to everyone who gave genuine advice. To the bored women coming on here looking for a little bit of a thrill on attacking people who have come on this for advice, shame on you . It is mum's net , not trolls net.

Shame on you for thinking the place is full of racists too - I guarantee not one person noticed your username.

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2023 15:25

If you read all of the posts the husband is actually paying the bills. It's often the case that the son pays these when his wife joins the family.

Original poster
Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:25

MetalFences · 05/05/2023 15:21

Thank you hun !

🙄

It probably took that poster ten minutes to write that post trying to help you. You are being really aggressive in your responses.

There are some very knowledgeable women on MN who are willing to share information to help other people.

If you are not willing to make any changes then why did you post?

I posted the wrong emoji.

OP posts:
ReadersD1gest · 05/05/2023 15:25

5128gap · 05/05/2023 15:23

She is living with another family in overcrowded conditions that are unsuitable given her child's disability. Its not necessary to be on the streets to apply under homelessness legislation unsuitable or overcrowded conditions may suffice.

Show quote history

You don't know what op's conditions are, any more than the rest of us.

5128gap · 05/05/2023 15:25

ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:20

@5128gap yer what??

What I said. If you're unclear there's information on the citizens advice website and from shelter that explains.

TheShellBeach · 05/05/2023 15:26

Hi OP.
It sounds like you're in a very stressful situation.
Apologies if you've answered this already, but do you get DLA and Carees Allowance for your little boy?
Have you contacted your local council disability rights organisation? Google it.
If you're prepared to move away to a more rural area you might have more luck.
For example, my village has empty properties because it's so far from everywhere.
I hope you get something sorted. Good luck.
Oh, and your husband needs to learn to look after the children. Can you help him with this?

Original poster
Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:27

MetalFences · 05/05/2023 15:21

Thank you hun !

🙄

It probably took that poster ten minutes to write that post trying to help you. You are being really aggressive in your responses.

There are some very knowledgeable women on MN who are willing to share information to help other people.

If you are not willing to make any changes then why did you post?

I went back I didn't post any emoji. I just thanked her for her advice which I appreciate.

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 05/05/2023 15:27

Do you claim DLA for him? It may boost your income enough to private rent. Also contact the LA for a carers assessment they can signpost to sources of support. Possibly CAB also, think about applying for an EHCP, you should be able to get extra help to send him to a nursery and for when he goes to school

TheShellBeach · 05/05/2023 15:29

ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:21

@TheShellBeach and gas? Electric?water? Council tax? Tv/wifi?

All currently provided free

Also, housing benefit are unlikely to cover all the rent

The OP's husband currently pays these things.

EllandRd · 05/05/2023 15:31

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 14:19

I can't work till my son goes to school full time . Simply because he requires full time care and I'm the only one who can look after him .

What will happen if you end up in hospital? You need to start getting care in place so your son is not solely dependant on you.

5128gap · 05/05/2023 15:32

ReadersD1gest · 05/05/2023 15:25

You don't know what op's conditions are, any more than the rest of us.

Show quote history

We know what she's said in her post, and my advice is based on that. If you don't think I'm correct, I'm not trying to convince you. It's the OP I'm advising.

ReadersD1gest · 05/05/2023 15:34

5128gap · 05/05/2023 15:32

We know what she's said in her post, and my advice is based on that. If you don't think I'm correct, I'm not trying to convince you. It's the OP I'm advising.

Show quote history

Sure, but your advice is only relevant if it fits op's situation. Wanting another room doesn't actually qualify as over crowding, in and of itself.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2023 15:36

If he goes to nursery you’re not the only one who can care for him. If you can leave him in an emergency you’re not the only one who can care for him. You’re planning to send him to school in a few short months, you’re presumably expecting them to be able to care for him.

Why are you so sure your husband “can’t” look after his own son? If that’s the case aren’t you or he quite concerned about why he’s incapable of something several other people can handle?

BeverlyHa · 05/05/2023 15:37

Tell the extended to stop coming - because so and so and stop making throwing toys a drama. Keep living with the in laws for food, shelter, protection and free childcare and that was that.

Theunamedcat · 05/05/2023 15:38

In Birmingham you have zero chance sorry to be blunt but the city is overcrowded