Council House advice

[Akkhan94]

Hope everyone is well. I am a Mommy of a ACC baby . It means Agenisis of the corpus collosum. My son is a bit delayed in development. He is going to be 4 in August and I am struggling with his potty training. If you look at him he seems perfectly normal but living with him is a story for another day . Anyway we live with my inlaws and my son finds it hard coping. When my family (my inlaws have a large family ) come over , he can't tolerate it . He starts crying and screaming, banging doors and throwing toys and becomes very upset. He needs his own place. My husband can't afford a house and I don't work, I am a SAHM to two boys. We have applied for social housing but I'm currently on position 105 200 on flats , and on houses its in 400s and 300s. Could anyone advise us how to go up the band ? We are on band c and we really need the house 🏡

You need to apply for medical priority, I would also mention to your GP how much it is affecting your mental health & if possible get a letter from your parents saying that they want you to move out. Do you have a social worker? If so ask them to support your application & ask if they can lean on the council for you.

Being brutally honest, you probably won't be housed by the council until you are made homeless by your in laws. They would have to write you a letter to say that they are evicting you on x date. Then you go to the council. They would probably house you in temporary accommodation to start with, like a b&b or house share/bed sit. You could be there for months or years, then you will be allocated a flat or house.

Your other option is to private rent and depending on your husband's income you may have to work as well. Childcare and rent help from UC would be available, again, depending on income.

Other than buying a house or private rental u can’t, most say it’s a 10-15 year wait.

Can't your DH look after your DS ? In the evenings, would also get him used to being with someone not mummy

Have you contacted any of the ACC charities? There maybe help out there to help the father learn how to help your son, that will allow you to work an alternative times to your partner, and increase your income.

Realistically you are a long way away from social housing, so would be better off putting energy into maximising your income to afford a private rental.

@Akkhan94 Dad needs to work on that then doesn’t he? There are charities that can help with that.

I presume he doesn’t want to and you don’t really want him to as they you’ll not have a reason for not working some evenings and weekends.

So how is he going to school if he can't be handled by anyone but you?

Why can’t you work when your husband is not at work? Or work from home? Why are you the only person who can look after your son? Could your husband work more hours or get a second job? How much effort have you put in to finding areas where a rental property might be more affordable to you? Have you got plans to work when your son becomes eligible for free nursery hours?
I did not have children until my husband and I could provide a decent home for them.

You need to be realistic. You are not going to get social housing anytime soon.

So you need an action plan for you both to earn more so that you can afford a private rental.

1. Parenting course for his father to actually parent his child.

1. He looks for a better paying job or takes a second weekend job.

1. Apply for universal credit and ask about housing costs and childcare costs.

1. You get a job. Weekends or evenings.

1. You look into moving into a cheaper area.

1. Research property prices in a wide area and calculate exactly how much extra you need to be able to afford to rent a two bed flat.

1. In the immediate term go out whenever there are large family gatherings

Where did you both live before kids?

I’m assuming this will be someone else’s responsibility…

Why aren't the family doing more to accommodate son of it is as bad as you say?
They could meet at a pub, a park, the cinema etc.
Trying to bump yourself ahead of other people in just as much need as you are seems the last thing you really need to do.

The family, first and foremost, should be doing what they can to avoid overwhelming him.
His dad should be able to care for him too.
School isn't glorified childcare, if he's unable to be cared for by anyone else in the world but you, hell ruin every other kids education.

I had posted for advice . Not for a bunch of people attacking me. You have no idea of my situation and do you really think I would apply for a council house if I could afford my own house? Would you be saying "should have thought before you had children " if I didn't have Khan in my name ? I am trying to take the advice and some people have been polite. My husband works and contributes towards the bills , food , clothing etc. I CANNOT work atm. I would have liked to as it would have given me a chance to get out of the house . Do u have any idea what it is like to have a child with additional needs ? My son goes to nursery . They CAN handle him . No one else can they all try but he is hard to control. If there is an emergency, people do look after him. I came on here for support not to have you all judge me ! I recently applied and didn't know how the system works. Do you really think you all are perfect ?

Quickest way would be to get a letter from your inlaws saying they want you out

So it's down to cost? You want a council house because you can't afford a house any other way?

You are surely not paying much rent living with in laws?

Op your mistake was posting in Aibu a lot of bored women desperate to have a go and not an ounce of understanding, it makes their lives that bit brighter.to have a dig at you .

I think your anger is misplaced - I dont even look at user names so your accusation of racism can get to fuck basically

Would you be saying "should have thought before you had children " if I didn't have Khan in my name ? Yes!! HTH

Plenty of people have DC with special needs and plenty have to work around it - why can't your DH look after his own child? He needs to learn how

How much rent do you currently pay ?

Must be a small nominal amount!

No one is attacking you. They are trying to help.

There is a chronic shortage of social housing. Just listening to a radio story of a man with chronic disabilities who has been om the waiting list for twenty years and still no where.

No one wants to give you false hope that you are going to get social housing because in reality its really unlikely in any realistic timescales.

So you have two options. 1. Stay as things are. 2. Find a private rental,.

For 2 people are giving you options of things you could do.

Council houses are few and far between, have you tried any housing association/private rentals.

I want advice, that is why I posted . You are attacking, not giving advice. Would I really be applying for a council flat if I could afford a nicer house? I don't pay rent to my inlaws . I do all the housework instead.

Hi , no I didn't know about that route . X

Ask the housing department if there would be any additional priority if you completed a medical assessment form. It's going to depend on the system they use as each local authority decides for themselves how to prioritize applications. There are some situations that they have to prioritize by law but others are discretionary. Don't just ask for health professionals to write in but ask about procedure. Where I worked we asked the applicant to complete a form and then a colleague who was medically qualified would assess. If you are only looking at properties in one area, are there are other areas you could bid for? I think you will be waiting some time, but you can ask for advice from the housing department about how to resolve the issue. It's what they are for.

So save up the money you would be paying on rent or mortgage!!

That's a huge huge chunk of your income

Nobody here is that lucky!