Page 6 | Council House advice

Akkhan94 · 2023-05-05T13:02:19+00:00

Hope everyone is well. I am a Mommy of a ACC baby . It means Agenisis of the corpus collosum. My son is a bit delayed in development. He is going to be 4 in August and I am struggling with his potty training. If you look at him he seems perfectly normal but living with him is a story for another day . Anyway we live with my inlaws and my son finds it hard coping. When my family (my inlaws have a large family ) come over , he can't tolerate it . He starts crying and screaming, banging doors and throwing toys and becomes very upset. He needs his own place. My husband can't afford a house and I don't work, I am a SAHM to two boys. We have applied for social housing but I'm currently on position 105 200 on flats , and on houses its in 400s and 300s. Could anyone advise us how to go up the band ? We are on band c and we really need the house 🏡

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 15:56

5128gap · 05/05/2023 15:52

At 14.14 today OP wrote 'we are overcrowded by one room' (No need to apologise!)
Her in laws are a separate household.
Your opinion on their housing status is irrelevant unless you're a decision maker at BCC.

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It's as relevant as yours.

More so, in fact, as OP will have told her circumstances to the decision makers, and they do not consider her to be eligible for homeless banding. So their opinion is the same as mine, clearly.

Original poster

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:56

doverper · 05/05/2023 15:55

What a stressful situation OP, I think council housing is like hens teeth at the minute unfortunately.

I don't have much experience but I would say it's worth finding out how your council's bands are awarded, my friend was recently offered a council flat and it was given to her because she worked (part-time) and her DP full time she was placed in a higher band as a working household but I think each council is different.

I find there are supportive Facebook groups for most things so it is worth joining a couple of groups if you're on Facebook. Good luck.

Oh OK I will do . Thank you.

OP posts:

defi · 05/05/2023 15:56

Op if I was you I'd mention that they are failing to safeguard. Child with disabilities triggered by inadequate housing. Failing that op. If you're both at home make the most of it. Work like mad for a year or two and get a deposit together

MayBeeJuneSoon · 05/05/2023 15:57

So if both work you get a higher banding?

Interesting!

Hellybelly84 · 05/05/2023 15:57

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 14:38

I had posted for advice . Not for a bunch of people attacking me. You have no idea of my situation and do you really think I would apply for a council house if I could afford my own house? Would you be saying "should have thought before you had children " if I didn't have Khan in my name ? I am trying to take the advice and some people have been polite. My husband works and contributes towards the bills , food , clothing etc. I CANNOT work atm. I would have liked to as it would have given me a chance to get out of the house . Do u have any idea what it is like to have a child with additional needs ? My son goes to nursery . They CAN handle him . No one else can they all try but he is hard to control. If there is an emergency, people do look after him. I came on here for support not to have you all judge me ! I recently applied and didn't know how the system works. Do you really think you all are perfect ?

I think people are probably trying to understand if you are almost at the stage of working (therefore is it a short term problem?). If your Son will be going to full time mainstream school in September, then you will have the chance to work every day. Is this the case? From what you gave posted though, will he be going to mainstream school as it seems unlikely a teacher and TA would be able to look after him and 30 other kids on their own.

Original poster

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:57

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 15:56

It's as relevant as yours.

More so, in fact, as OP will have told her circumstances to the decision makers, and they do not consider her to be eligible for homeless banding. So their opinion is the same as mine, clearly.

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Yes . But your opinion is irrelevant. There's isn't..

OP posts:

MayBeeJuneSoon · 05/05/2023 15:58

Sounds like op can't work as she is too busy skivvying for the in laws....

Original poster

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:59

Hellybelly84 · 05/05/2023 15:57

I think people are probably trying to understand if you are almost at the stage of working (therefore is it a short term problem?). If your Son will be going to full time mainstream school in September, then you will have the chance to work every day. Is this the case? From what you gave posted though, will he be going to mainstream school as it seems unlikely a teacher and TA would be able to look after him and 30 other kids on their own.

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I have applied for a mainstream school but will see if he gets on. If not, then will change schools. The problem I have is because its a rare disease, no one has heard of it .

OP posts:

MayBeeJuneSoon · 05/05/2023 16:00

A quick google tells you all you need to know..

AdditionalCharacter · 05/05/2023 16:00

You need to get medical priority Op, as a few have said. Speak to your son's consultant or health visitor, ask for a social care referral if you can.

Addicted2Kale · 05/05/2023 16:00

If family support with child care is an absolute no go and thus you can't work, the fact of the matter is your husband needs to find a way to earn more money so that he can afford to rent a home for you all to live in. The short cut you're looking for doesn't exist. Millions of people are looking for free homes off the state. That's why there are bands.

He gets a role earning 30k and he can pay for a basic rental. Prison officers are on 32k and there's tonnes of vacancies. Start there.

MayBeeJuneSoon · 05/05/2023 16:01

What does your DH currently do op?

SouthCountryGirl · 05/05/2023 16:02

AdditionalCharacter · 05/05/2023 16:00

You need to get medical priority Op, as a few have said. Speak to your son's consultant or health visitor, ask for a social care referral if you can.

You can self refer to social services

caringcarer · 05/05/2023 16:02

So OP her husband and 2 son's are all having to live in one room. That is too crowded and having to live permanently with her in-laws and do all the housework for them all, it must drive her mad. I know I would hate it. Your best bet OP is to look for a private rented house even if 2 bedrooms and claim housing benefit to help pay for it. Once your son is at school full time you might be able to find some part time work. Do you claim DLA for your son and Carers allowance? If not go to CAB and ask them to help you make a claim. Does your DH give you money to spend or does he keep control of all the money he earns?

Myfavouritecolourisanimalprint · 05/05/2023 16:03

As others have suggested, Shelter or your local Citizen's Advice may be able to help you with making sure you have everything you are entitled to, and they will probably know more about the housing providers in your area than most of us on here, who are largely from another area. It may be worth considering other areas though, as PPs from Birmingham have mentioned that the city is short on social housing.

How old is your other child, OP, could you do some work from home during the day if they are both at school/nursery? I'm not sure what kind of work you would be interested in but there's a Facebook page called The Work From Home Hub, which has quite a variety of jobs, that might be worth a look. Your husband does need to learn to look after his own children though, your children have two parents.

kingtamponthefurred · 05/05/2023 16:08

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 14:22

Dad can't handle him. When he throws his fits I'm the only one who can calm him down. He starts banging his head .

Dad needs to learn to handle him. Practice is the key.

5128gap · 05/05/2023 16:08

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 15:55

We have a three bedroom house and my mother in law, father in law, brother in law, my two sons me and my son live here . So yes we are overcrowded. Thank you @5128gap but I feel like these guys are bitter about something. No use replying to them . Xx

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There are individuals on here with no knowledge of housing legislation who are advising you based on opinion only, coloured by whether they think you 'should' be entitled to a council house. I'm advising you impartially on what may be your rights. If you go to Shelter or Citizens Advice you can get much more detailed advice of that nature, safe in the knowledge its quality checked for accuracy and in your interests. On here its mainly just lay people's opions and judgements. Good luck.

Original poster

Akkhan94 · 05/05/2023 16:08

Myfavouritecolourisanimalprint · 05/05/2023 16:03

As others have suggested, Shelter or your local Citizen's Advice may be able to help you with making sure you have everything you are entitled to, and they will probably know more about the housing providers in your area than most of us on here, who are largely from another area. It may be worth considering other areas though, as PPs from Birmingham have mentioned that the city is short on social housing.

How old is your other child, OP, could you do some work from home during the day if they are both at school/nursery? I'm not sure what kind of work you would be interested in but there's a Facebook page called The Work From Home Hub, which has quite a variety of jobs, that might be worth a look. Your husband does need to learn to look after his own children though, your children have two parents.

Ok yh I will have a look at that .thanks

OP posts:

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2023 16:16

I agree with what @5128gap says. I was a housing officer for a very long time. Each local authority will be different, there will be different ways of prioritizing the housing register, some have a common housing register so housing associations don't consider applications. See if there is a law centre, housing advice centre near you and speak to Shelter. The staff at the housing office will give you advice. They are not gatekeeping but often you need another person to advocate for you. As well, you probably have cultural issues in that your extended family have different expectations, so it adds to the problem.

DisquietintheRanks · 05/05/2023 16:17

Blackbyrd · 05/05/2023 15:39

The OP is having to defend herself mightily on this thread. Her original question is perfectly reasonable and polite. Who amongst us would genuinely like to be in her situation? It is stressful enough having a child with additional needs, without having to deal with other people's behaviour too. I am sure that they will all be able to relax more and engage as a family in their own place. At least OP's husband is present and working, unlike a lot of men who abdicate all responsibility. OP has some ideas now so she can work on her plan to improve her situation. Shame about the rest!

👏 👏 👏 Well said.

@Akkhan94 I'm sorry that so many ignorant women gave been so unpleasant to you. It's easy for them to bitch talk from behind a screen and no understanding of how difficult it can be to bring up a severely disabled child.

Good luck with finding a home of you own. There's some good advice on the thread in between the nastiness.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 05/05/2023 16:18

No chance of the brother in law moving out, is there? Then your children could share his room. Heaven forfend that he wants to get married and bring his bride home, though.

Do the child’s grandparents have no interest in learning to manage his behaviour ? Couldn’t you involve them somehow? Do you not have any relatives on your side who might give you a hand?

Does your mosque not have any charitable funds, influence or children’s support facilities? Some other religions do have such groups.

before you shout at me , OP, I am just trying to suggest ways to ameliorate your situation without being able to offer you any tips for subsidised housing.

5128gap · 05/05/2023 16:19

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 15:56

It's as relevant as yours.

More so, in fact, as OP will have told her circumstances to the decision makers, and they do not consider her to be eligible for homeless banding. So their opinion is the same as mine, clearly.

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Well its entirely up to the OP whether she accepts your view, and sits there doing nothing to progress her application, or explores the suggestions I've made, with specialist assistance. I'm not interested in proving myself to be more right than you are; only in suggesting options that may help her.

NewNovember · 05/05/2023 16:20

ThisSingleMama · 05/05/2023 15:21

@TheShellBeach and gas? Electric?water? Council tax? Tv/wifi?

All currently provided free

Also, housing benefit are unlikely to cover all the rent

Op says her dh pays those bills just that she herself doesn't pay rent.

NewNovember · 05/05/2023 16:21

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 15:38

She's living with family, her inlaws. Not "another family". She hasn't said they are overcrowded, you made that up.
She is not homeless.

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She said they are overcrowded by one room. Improve your comprehension skills before calling other posters liars.

Snowpatrolling · 05/05/2023 16:24

I’ve just moved from a 2 bed council flat to a 3 bed council house, on a medical need for my daughter and the safety of my other daughter.
I was in band c (we dont have a points system where I am)
took me 2 years to fight to get to band b. I had reports from social workers, cahms, drs, and both schools.
I was still coming in at 50th in the que for a 3 bed property. It then took another year of fighting to get to band A. In that time my daughter had had several hospital admissions, so I sent off all her discharge letters. Started her claim for DLA which I sent that award off when I got it. More reports from social worker and DRS were sent. Social worker became heavily involved in dealing with the council for me at this point. Schools also wrote more detailed reports at this stage for me. I got a letter of every agency we had involved with us which I think were about 9 or 10 on top of what I’ve mentioned! I got into band A last November and I moved in February. It helped that we moved out of area (but same local authority) as other local councils wouldn’t let me on their list.
its a fight but it’s all about gathering your evidence on why you need it.
eventually when the kids fly the nest I will downsize so another family can enjoy this home.