To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

Do you really think that most women have botox, fake tan, and fillers on a regular basis?

Fake tan once a week? Blimey.

What a bizarre thread.
Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm of the same species let alone sex.

Some of these posts are a bit "race to the bottom".

Yeah, and claims to have no internal response whatsoever to looks. Like, you never ever notice big ears or full lips or long lashes.

Ironically, the people arguing about how superior it is to have no beauty regime probably care more about looks than the others. They've certainly loaded appearance with meaning.

I should have said it would look tragic on me @potatohead1.
I have reached a stage in life where I don't need to impress anyone looks wise.

What makes you think my kids don't come first? Do I have to look haggard and unkept and exhausted to be deemed a good mother? My children always come first. I do most of these appointments while they are in school or nursery. I spend every waking moment with them.

I have my hair cut and coloured every month, lash tint and lift every 6 weeks, micro-blading top up once a year, nails every month and have botox every six months. I'm early forties and probably average maintenance for my social circle.

The competitive under grooming is just like the teedious competitive under eating.

No.

Botox, lip fillers and fake tan are certainly not routine.

I think they are just hideous marketing ploys to make women hate their body and think they need to fake everything to look good.

I will never touch botox and lip fillers. I vaguely tried fake tan in my 20s and decided I did not see the point of being orange and that my skin looks good as it is.

I actually care about my appearance which I why I don't do these things: I think they make women look worse, not better.

What is under grooming?
Is there a universally accepted benchmark for grooming that I dont know about?

Except one is actually dangerous to health and the other is just unimportant appearance.

Man, some posters seem obsessed with proving that Botox or fillers can look natural. And others seem very keen to prove that women who don't get them only do without because they can't afford them.

I can afford them. I just don't want injectables. However natural they look.
I don't know why it is so hard to believe that the beauty queen aesthetic is not required for most people. Or even desired.

Exactly!!! You can be a great mother whether you do these things (or more!) or none! How ridiculous!!! Im sure your husbands appreciate the effort rather than you just letting yourselves go. And women wonder why so many affairs happen. Look after yourselves inside and out ladies!

I don't think so. When I look at the women around me, most don't do much more than regularly get their hair cut and dyed. The vast majority don't wear make up or nail varnish, let alone have a fake tan.

I don't like the overgroomed look at all, especially not in very young women where it's ageing. Fake tans in December are the worst.
I'm very low maintenance myself but I look neat because I always dress well, wear jewellery and style my hair. Botox, fake tans etc aren't necessary to look decent.

Actually I do find it a little sad that people spend so much time and money on their appearance - be that Botox or make up

I do feel they have been conned out of their cash - it's only necessary because they have been made to feel insecure in sone way

The pressure to look young as though being young is something to be proud of - rather than a stage you have to live through successfully to become older.

I'd rather an older decision maker than a young one myself

I am never friends with people for their appearance
I don't rate people more highly because of their appearance
( caveat - basic cleaning and coverage of your private's I think is respectful of others )

I rarely notice if someone changes their appearance ( friends don't expect me to notice a new hair cut or glasses without a prompt or long delay )

Do I get an award for most replies on a thread😂. I think I have hit a nerve in most people on here unintentionally. I see the beauty in most people so I always assumed most women did a lot to maintain their appearance.

"Competitive under grooming"

Again another very judgemental phrase

And yet you view people who don't do this as 'haggard and unkempt'

I think it's this bit:

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance.

It can be taken rather offensively.

YABU to think this. But fair play to you. I used to partake in lots of self care when I was single and had no kids but sadly they come first now.
That is a cheap shot.
I spent a lot if time on grooming and my clothes when my children were little. They were the priority but they did go to school and nursery. They weren't glued to me!!

Hard to fit in around work and children

Are you saying people who don't keep up the same appointment regime are haggard and unkempt?

It's the people rushing on to say how they never do anything ever, just as on food threads people rush on to say how a salad sustains them for a week. You can tell lots of people never get anything done which is their choice, but it's very obvious on a thread like this it's to try and prove they're better.

I used to think that was really unusual… then a few months ago found out I’m the only one out of DP’s (large!) friend groups’s female partners to not get regular Botox.. and that my younger sister and her large group of friends pretty much all get ‘preventative botox’ so it’s obviously a lot more common than I thought it was! No one in my own group of friends does this though (and we all look after our appearance) so I suppose it just depends on the social pressures and what is the norm in the people you spend most time with?

Don’t be so goady. Your original message wasn’t too bad until you got to the bit where you said you don’t care about your appearance unless you fake tan every week.

Not having Botox doesn’t make one haggard.

If I could be bothered I’d get my nails etc done regularly and I know people who do do that. But I’m not messing about with Botox etc. if my lips are thin my lips are thin 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do wear a bit of make up and use hair product.