To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

There are lots of posters feeling a type of way about not being able to afford it and bashing it. Hope it makes them feel better about themselves.

you have a weird idea of caring about your appearance - you appear to want to ape a barbie doll.

Nope, I don't do any of those. Maybe paint my own nails once in a while, but the rest never. And I would say I take care of my appearance. Just prefer to look natural and spend my time and money on things like healthy food and fresh air. I don't know anyone who has a routine that extensive

Oh I forgot about sheet masks! That's my idea of a serious pamper session 😂
Same with the haircuts twice a year too. Can't be bothered with the faff of booking an appointment and making small talk. I wish salons were like barbers where you just turn up whenever and they concentrate on cutting your hair and it only costs a tenner

I do none of these things! YABU

I dye my own hair, eyebrows and eyelashes but it's as and when I remember. I do my own nails badly.

I do use a gradual fake tan on my legs in the summer as they are blue and veiny.

My friends used to think I was high maintenance with my skincare routine of cleanser, moisturiser and ** eye cream 😆. I do look after my skin and am quite fussy about that.

I might get a pedicure done as a treat.

what you do sounds expensive and time consuming so yes, you high maintenance but you choose what level of self care you like and what works for you.

I’m 35 op,
I get my nails done every month.
my eyebrows are mircobladed. (Worth every penny)
Botox every six months and recently had cheek implants done very subtly that no one has notice but I love them and look younger somehow!
I dye my own hair and trim it as I’m super tight when it comes to that. Not once has anyone said I look fake, I also have a very professional role.
I do it for me, I genuinely feel better about myself with these things. I don’t consider myself high maintenance though, I love these things but I’m still the first to get mucky playing with my ds’s or decorate the house etc I just feel better about myself with these things

😂ibe Never done any of those things. I care about my appearance, I wear make up and do my hair and dye it often. I wear nail Polish often. But I’ve never had any of those things.

I hope the message you’ve taken from this is that most women do none or few of these things op. All the women you walk past daily and probably often think she looks nice have also quite probably not done any of these. I’m an attractive professional woman a few years older than you with a good income who gets a pedicure in summer and a facial every few years when I get around to it. I exercise, eat well, wash my face every morning and night, and wear spf moisturiser every day and makeup some of the time.

YABVVVVU.

first of all, all that costs money. Not everyone can afford it and even if they can they might have other priorities (e.g. books, travel, language lessons, gym membership). For you to suggest that people not doing it just don’t care about their appearance is beyond insulting.

secondly, frankly, I reckon anyone would look pretty silly after all that. If they don’t then it’s only a matter of time before all the Botox/fillers catch up with you.

For myself: I get a pedicure once a month but it’s almost medical/curative: I have incredibly dry skin on my feet no matter what I do so have to have pedicures if I don’t want to resemble a lizard. I get manicures maybe every 3 months. I do get waxed every month but maintain my eyebrows at home. A facial is a treat, maybe once or twice a year. Fake tan, Botox, fillers: never, they all look ridiculous.

Your definition of 'self-care' can be wildly different to somebody else's. For me, self-care involves drinking lots of water, getting plenty of rest, working out, eating clean, good skin care routine etc.

Nails, eyebrows etc are nice, but a bit of a treat if I have the time.

Botox just scares me.

Nope, I could probably afford it. I just don’t like that type of aesthetic. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about my appearance, however! (FWIW I am 37 and regularly get told I look 10 years younger when I haven’t even asked for people’s opinion…)

Yes, OP, YABU as every woman I know does not not do all of these things. Maybe one or two at the most.

I've given up all the 'maintenance' but do a lot of self-care (moisturising, keeping my teeth healthy etc.,) in order to feel well and comfortable.

I had a lot of illness and now have some disability, so am just glad I survived to have grey streaks and wrinkles. Not allowed to shave my legs for medical reasons!! So I just glory in the body I have, with its wonky-ness and scars and enjoy life.

It's very liberating, and anyone doesn't like it or finds me gross then they don't have to look at me, I just don;t give a flying frick any more :-)

Forgot to add!

A few years ago I was on holiday abroad and my DH took a photo of me in my bikini top and swim skirt. Bear in mind I was 45+, easily 16+ stone, a bit wonky with it too.... but I had my head up high and a huge smile. Confidence and posture are powerful and I even put it up on FB. Everybody bloody loved that pic :-)

YABU I do none of these and Botox makes your face look like it's made of plastic

It's insecure rather than high maintenance, plastic surgery is a form of self harm, surely. I don't personally know anybody who does that regime but the ones I'm aware of from a distance tend to live in social housing and claim benefits, so presumably it's not a cost but a priority concern.

No, I don’t do any of that. I don’t want a fake tan rubbed into my skin, nothing wrong with my skin, or a neurotoxin injected into my forehead. Or fake fillers (why?) injected into my lips, my lips are fine. These things smack of insecurity and obsession with trying to impress people with an appearance that is actually fake. To me they seem extreme.

I like to wear a light powder foundation, tiny bit of eyeshadow, mascara, and lip balm/gloss or natural looking lipstick, far different from injecting fillers.

Do my own eyebrows which is just a little shadow to fill in and brow mascara.

I do my own nails, it’s easy, why pay someone. File, clear base coat, color or neutral coat. Done. I don’t want fake nails, again, my own nails are better than plastic fake nails.

Facials…never had one but I can see how it would be relaxing to get one but that’s it. I can apply a mask or whatever to my own face, why pay someone, why go to the trouble unless you want the relaxation which I understand, sort of like a shoulder massage. But I feel no need to get one, my skin is good. Wash face with whatever soap I use in the shower, tone with rose water, and use same lotion I use all over.

I prefer simple routines and a natural classic look. I think the worst look is that of the Kim Kardashians, they all look the same, plastic surgery, layers of makeup, contouring and bronzing every angle known to man, fake eyelashes and fake brows, fake tan, fake body parts, their faces all look the same, giant swollen lips. No thanks.

I haven never done any of those things - I could afford to but don't feel the need to. I do care about my appearance - I go to the hairdressers every 6 weeks for my roots to be 'done', and I don't have my natural colour hair either!

I would agree with your friend - your beauty regime is high maintenance

I'm a bit late to the party but no, I don't do any of those things.
I don't much care what I look like and care even less what anyone else thinks.

My DD who does all of the above and who is also a beauty therapist gave me a make over for Mothers Day. I looked ridiculous and DH and other DD burst out laughing. As did I.

artificial tan
artificial eyebrows
artificial lips
artificial nails
artificial white teeth

But suuuuuuuuuure, you don’t look fake. Because nobody’s ever said so to your face

All women put fillers in their lips?????? No, definitely not!

I guess it depends how it's done
My eyebrows are tattooed, it's not obvious at all
Occasionally I use zoom whitening, but my tea habit means my teeth will never be bright white!

People think they can always spot lip filler, you can if it's badly done. I've been told mine are obvious. They're not, because I've never had filler

Sorry, how can cosmetic enhancements be done naturally? Spot the oxymoron.

No.
Most women I know have their hair done every two months.

Most women I know do their own nails and eyebrows though occasionally have brows and lashes dyed for a special event.
Some women I know have a light fake tan before their wedding.
I know one woman who has Botox to help with headaches.
I know of some women who have hair removal but most attend to that themselves too.

I have no friends who plump up their lips.
However, I know of many very young women plumping their lips (and all the young women in their teens and 20s in one particular family do this.) It looks unattractive to me and like they have painful, swollen lips about to break out in cold sores or that their lips are turning in-side-out really.

Does anyone else notice this trend - the urge to super size ones lips in an exaggerated cartoon fashion?

No this is not normal