To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

The absolute irony. When presented with EVIDENCE of natural looking filler which clearly show fuller yet natural looking lips, deniers start rabbeting in about lighting and makeup making her look younger. I didn’t say anything about her looking younger. I said she has fuller lips. Which she does. And it’s undeniably natural. But it eats your brain up to admit it.

Fake tan looks fake I will never understand that one

I get my nails done every month, hair trimmed every 6 weeks and have Botox/fillers. Put on fake tan if I’m going a night out or to a party. But I wouldn’t call that self care.

To me, self care is de-stressing and making healthy lifestyle choices. Bubble baths. Reading a good book. Going to a gym class. Sitting down and watching a good film/series. Enjoying time alone. Cutting out toxic things which impact my mental health.

It shouldn’t matter to you what other women choose to do to their appearance, nor should it matter to anyone else what you choose to do to yours.

God yes. I look halfway decent at home. By the time I've got to work, I've aged 10 years. Especially in the toilets.

But in response to op, that's high maintenance. Usually done by women in their 20s or 30s and a bit depressing to see. I get trying to look nicer, but I kind of think if it looks really fake, it's not actually enhancing you. I've given up fake eyelashes on nights out, as they make my eyes look smaller and make me look harder. Maybe that's the look people are going for- teenage girls scrapping outside tesco local.

I bet many of the people on here who don’t know people who get it done probably just don’t realise people get it done.

Or maybe they know that their friends don't do all of this. I'm 30 years older than you, and so are most of my friends. These things aren't important to us.

I get my hair cut every few months, a dry trim. and lighten it at home with a supermarket kit. I paint my toenails sometimes at the start of summer and then not again. I moisturise face and hands. I tan if the sun is out, in summer. End of.

I'm in my 50s. Pre menopause I wore mascara to work but no longer have much in the way of eyelashes. Really can't be bothered with make up except for special occasions. Might paint my fingernails once or twice a year for a party.

Wouldn't dream of botox or fillers. Would have my eyebrows tattooed if I knew someone reputable, as they have all but disappeared - but can't be bothered to find someone.

Is some of it for a partner as well as yourself OP?

I don't do any of those now. I used to get my eyebrows done but they're too thin now.

Shower, shave, moisturise. Use makeup, clean it off.

File nails regularly. Very occasionally paint them myself.

Use deep hair conditioner weekly.

Get hair cut every 6-8 weeks. I don't colour it.

Never used any fillers or botox. Haven't had a facial since pre-Covid (although probably had roughly 3-4 per year then).

This

Nails & waxing yes! Tan no my skin is dry so not worth it but probably would if i didnt look like a loaf of tiger bread when i do it.. Injectables no too scared 🤣

I wouldn't describe injecting your face with foreign substances "self care".

I barely ever look in the mirror let alone spend any time or money trying to look younger or like an airbrushed picture.

People obviously can and should do whatever they wish but it becomes a problem if a very high cost and high maintenance appearance becomes a norm to the point where women that prefer not to are judged or considered scruffy and ungroomed. Apart from anything else, it's an additional financial and time burden, another tax on being female.
You can kind of understand why some women try desperately to opt out by claiming to be non-binary.

Wow I don't do any of those. I know a few women who fake tan or get nails done but that's about it!

All of this. You're way off base on this.

Mine looks just as subtle as yours.

Nails, tan, Botox and lips here! 🙌

@Notmyfandango I agree that is subtle but also I don't think either picture looks better or worse than the other, to the point where I'd wonder what I actually paid for.

I know of loads of people who do this. I'm starting to make more of an effort myself now that the kids are older. I won't have Botox or lip fillers but I'm going to start having my nails done monthly and I've started getting my eyebrows waxed and tinted.
Bought some fake tan too the other day for the first time in like 10 years.

Fuck me, not a chance!!!

I use good quality skin care every day and I've had my eye browns micro bladed. That's it.

You know they dont

I do it for me. Even when I was single

Here the pattern is:

Beautiful posh students - no regime whatsoever. Look grubby but amazing.

Young local women in low paid jobs - literally everything - fake tan/lips/hair the works.

Older posh women - thin, grey hair, fancy clothes, nice jewellery, short nude nails. Look amazing

Older local women - fat, insanely long nails with art. All blonde. Turkey teeth.

These are my observations only.

I think they look great and more importantly so does the person whose lips they are and that’s all that matters.

I don’t know anyone who does even half of that stuff.

Nope nope nope.
Short nails (I play the piano) pluck my own eyebrows, have never felt the need for a fake tan, or a facial.
And hell will freeze over before I have anything injected into my face.

I'm growing older naturally and (I hope) gracefully! I keep my hair decently cut, I shave, I use moisturiser, and I use factor 50 sun cream as a couple of precancerous lesions down, I don't fancy any extras!

Each to their own though. My wedding day was the last time I wore a full face of makeup... and washed it off before the evening do Occasional mascara is about my limit. Dh still seems to find me attractive after 35 years together so all good!