To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

I wash my face with water each day if that counts as a beauty routine 😂 But I'm not in Ireland.

I've had my nails done four times in my life but I didn't like how my nails felt damaged after they were removed. I did like how they looked and I know lots of people who have their nails done regularly. I'd consider monthly nails pretty normal.

Eyebrows - never. I occasionally pluck them myself. I'm not aware of anyone who gets theirs done regularly but it's not something I'd notice to ask about.

Facial - I've had three, on special occasions when I went to a Spa. I don't know anyone who has them regularly although I do know people who have regular massages so I guess it's not that different.

Fake tan - very uncommon in my area. Fake tanned people look out of place here imo. I don't like wearing it because of how it stains my clothes. When I go back to my hometown all the young women seem fake tanned though. I think it massively depends on your city and age.

Botox and filler - I would never consider this. I only have one friend who I suspect has had her lips done and unfortunately I think she looked better before. If anyone else I know does it, they keep it extremely quiet. Personally I don't think thick lips look more attractive than naturally thin lips 🤷

Nope I'm what you would call a house wife. 😂 and mother to a toddler and teen

I do monthly brows and LVL lashes, Lumea once a week, tretinoin, manicure once every 3 months or so, DIY file & polish once a week, professional tan before a holiday or special occasion, gradual tan every other day in summer, hair colour and cut every 8 weeks, cheek filler once a year, residential spa break once a year. Quite a lot when you list it all!

I honestly think to look your best has nothing to do with beauty treatments etc - you’ll look your best if you’re healthy and ‘clean’, take care of your teeth, skin, stay in shape etc.

I think acrylics, hair dye and fake tan can make people look dirty as it only looks good for a limited amount of time.

That’s just my personal opinion though. And I’m a hypocrite because despite believing this I still get my hair highlighted and acrylics.

Shame you didn't enable the voting. That would have been interesting.

FWIW, I think YABU. I'm with your friend, you sound very high maintenance.

What I don't understand is why you spend all that time and money, when (on about P11 - I'm not scrolling back for the quote box) that it "is all very natural looking and nobody even noticed the last 2 times you have things done". Well, if no-one notices, what is the point ?

I gel my own nails, thread my brows, wear makeup daily and hair is always glamour blow dried by me. No facials, occasional massage
Never ever would I go for the duck lipped, orange skin, rubber face look!

For people with depression that is self care. Caring for yourself - even if basic. The concept has been blown up (probably by the beauty industry) to mean beauty treatments and smelly candles.

This is my lip filler.

www.instagram.com/tv/CeqKwf5Ddhj/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I don't care if you think it's noticeable or not. Or if you like it or not. I love it, but not one single person (even my own mother) realised I had it done. I think it looks very natural.

Notmyfandango I think you're lip filler looks great. People only notice the poorly applied and overfilled lips

No way! I’m shocked that anyone does what @summerfinn does, 😮

Lip fillers are always obvious if you know what to look for. They look fine in photos and in the mirror but even a small amount alters the way you speak. I won’t go into the anatomical technicalities but the lip position and line is a real give away.
I spend my working life very up close and personal to lips and we are seeing more and more damage to lip colour from repeated use of fillers. The lips start to look a bit lumpy and they loose their natural colour. Hence the introduction of semi permanent lip colouring to solve the problem.
I have no problem with lip fillers but like many popular fashion fads there are long term effects waiting.
Repeated plucking of eyebrows has resulted in thin almost none existent eyebrows in many older women, fortunately along comes micro blading just in time for the new trend of well defined substantial brows. Funny that.

Is the first pic your lips before filler? They looked perfectly nice. I am not sure I can tell the difference after, except more shiny.

For people with depression that is self care. Caring for yourself - even if basic.

Sorry - yes I agree from that perspective. And I've been that soldier where even to eat was an effort.

But the poster I was replying to was defining those acts of hygiene as being self-care, in opposition to OP's definition of self-care.

Treatments like OP describes can also be self-care, of a different kind.

Definitely not normal. I've never had my eyebrows done, had my nails done once for my wedding, had a fake tan once in the lightest shade and it was soo dark on my pale skin that it put me off, never had Botox.
Where do you find the time for this? Most working people wouldn't be able to find the time to these things, let alone afford it!

I don't do any of that, but I do use some basic products on my face, body and hair every day. I'd love to step it up a bit and have some regular spa treatments too, but never seem to get round to it.

I don't like the false lips/lashes/tan Botox look just because it makes everyone look the same and, well, a bit blank. The women I see who have this kind of work done all seem to have the same facial expressions and body language. I find it a little bit creepy, sorry.

Mention fillers and all the claws come out!
I've learned this evening I'm a bad role model to my DD because I've had lip filler 😂
No one has noticed I've had them, and I mean no one. It's not always as in your face as the majority here assume.

Hair done every 6-8wks usually.

In summer shellac pedicure a few times, nails every 3wks or so.

Might get the nails done at Xmas too.

Used to get threading done once a month, however covid put me off. I would rather be a bit hairy/imperfect that have a stranger that close to my face.

Hate facials as have sensitive skin and tanning/botox/filler (fake/hassle) so I wouldn’t spend the money on it.

I do spend a lot on premium beauty skincare products.

Go through phases of waxing.

Like massages/scrubs a few times a year.

Those of you who get nails done regularly - what are your own nails like?

I look after my nails, and have the occasional manicure for special occasions. My own nails are in good condition.

I get pedicures done in summer when my feet are on show. There is no point in having painted toenails in winter, and I think it is good for them not to be covered in nail varnish all year.

The only fake tans you see tound here is at prom time after GCSEs, but it is very unusul to see a lot of fake tanned people normally.

I just couldn't afford the time and the money to do what the OP does, but I do take care of myself by doing what I can myself. I epilate facial hair myself as well.

You probably just think that because you move in circles of women who are similar to you (as we all do). No, not at all. I get my hair done every couple of months. Nails and facial very rarely on a spa day or something like that but probably once a year at most. Wouldn’t go near fake tan. You must spend a lot of money on all this and have the time to attend all these appointments! And I “care about my appearances”, certainly.

Also in Ireland and wouldn’t say this is the norm among my contemporaries at all. Maybe the eyebrows for some and rare fake tan before an event? But my friends take care of themselves, exercise and dress well etc. I would associate the lip filler/fake tan with a younger demographic.

This wouldnt be self care to me at all, Id hate to do it all cos it just isnt me

I have my hair cut every six months (ish). No manis, no pedis, no facials, no Botox. Mid 40s. Generally think women who have to play ‘pretend’ this much by altering their appearance probably have significant issues (even if that’s being married or partnered with a bloke who has misunderstood the role of women due to an unreal visual ideal presented by mainstream media), but each to their own and it’s not my place to judge really. But yes, you’re pretty high maintenance by my book!

I don't do any beauty regime. Not even moisturiser, cleanser,hairdresser. Let alone all the other stuff. I dont wear makeup.

How did you stop biting your nails?

Here you go. Now you can’t say you’ve never seen them looking good with fillers.