To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

I spent most of my younger years working as a beauty consultant for Clinique but even so I don’t do any of those things! I wear make up everyday but that’s it. I hate beauty salons and all the faff it entails. I wouldn’t dream of going to get my eyebrows done or whatever. I shape them myself and the same with my nails. I mean if you enjoy it you crack on but I certainly don’t think it’s the “norm” especially the Botox.

Not that I have seen. Although I have noticed lots of very bitchy comments from women who don’t towards women who do. Hmmm something to ponder as happy people don’t usually go full bitch in strangers.

Why would I? I was taught never to comment on someone’s appearance unless specifically asked by them.

I was revealing here my inner thoughts - which I’d wager most people have one way or the other.

I’d never mention it because it’s not important. I was just surprised because I naively thought that most relatively affluent western women in their late 40s would have had a pedicure at some stage.

I have infills on my eyelashes every week and my eyebrows tinted / waxed and shaped every month
nails infill every 10 days
facial once a month
pedicure every month
Botox every 4 months
I don’t wear make up though unless I’m going out and tend to use a tinted moisturizer most days

it’s just something I do
don’t really think about it to be fair

Nope. I have hair cut every two months and coloured every four months. Don’t need lip fillers as I have naturally big lips ( which were terribly unfashionable when I was young). I think the trend is now in decline anyway.
Im over the hill and happily invisible. I have friends who have cheek filler to slow down the aging process but they look ridiculous.
I hang on to my smile with a bit of tooth whitening which I get for free.
After surviving breast cancer I am embracing age. Eighteen months ago I didn’t know if I’d make it this far. It’s a weird outlook but when it looks like you’re not going to make it past 60 you stop worrying about how you look. Every wrinkle is a bonus.

If it makes you happy to have that routine go for it. If it makes you think women don’t care about their appearance if they don’t do all that you are a bit unreasonable. If you think it’s wrong for women to not care that much about their appearance you’d also be unreasonable but it seems like it’s more you’d feel uncomfortable or a bit naked without that routine for yourself.

Personally I haven’t ever had fillers or Botox. I have worn fake tan once ever and couldn’t be bothered with the faff ever again.

I’ve occasionally had my nails filed/painted for an event but never had false ones and I haven’t had my eyebrows touched in years. I never wear make up beyond lip gloss and rarely shave my legs.

I cleanse/moisturise, shave arm puts, trim bikini line and I cut/file nails regularly. I get my hair cut a couple of times a year (I never dye, straighten or blow dry it and never put any product in it aside from shampoo/conditioner so it tends to stay very healthy),

I do have a facial occasionally when I’m a bit stressed and my skin is playing up and I get a pedicure a couple of times a year as a treat where they put wax on your feet but that’s more because it feels nice than how it looks.

You sound like you spend a lot of time/money on a beauty regime to me but I can’t see that’s bad if you enjoy it. If you don’t enjoy it and just feel like you have to do it then that’s a shame

I get my eyebrows shaped and lip waxed every 6 weeks ish. Dermaplaning 4 times a year. Only had my hair dyed once but will continue doing it as often as the grey becomes really noticeable - every 2 or 3 months? Don't get my fingernails done anymore I just keep them filed short. Have never (and hope will never) use botox or fillers of any kind. If I won the lottery I'd probably have a pedicure and a facial every month but I couldn't justify it in real life.

I don't care very much about my appearance. But more than my mum, who has literally never had any sort of beauty treatment (basic haircut excepted) in her whole life.

Same with the people I know.

Do these treatments all cost a similar amount in Ireland to the uk?

I think so. From reading S&B, it's obviously area-dependent but SE/ London prices are a lot more, but other areas are cheaper.

How are Irish women paying for it all? It sounds expensive.

I mean all Irish women aren't having these, esp injectables. But many do nails, tan, brows, lashes. They budget for it as they do anything else I guess.

Where I live there's a certain look of extreme fake tan, overdone eyelashes & lip filler - it doesn't look great & would typically be a lower socio-economic group. Not a fan, but again, their choice & presumably it's done reasonably cheaply

Nope! Nails maybe once a year or special occasion, erm I guess I sometimes get my eyebrows done but mostly just pluck. I use moisturiser I guess.

For a Christening / Communion / wedding, hair done + tan is pretty standard - just makes everything feel more dressed up! That's definitely not only an Irish thing tho! Getting a blow dry or upstyle for an event is usual everywhere.

Not sure I would agree this applies universally. I suspect it is a regional thing.

I don’t think every woman does this but I don’t think you’re unreasonable, false or setting a bad example! I like to get gel nails and a facial now and again. I tend to always have classic lash extensions as I don’t wear makeup and this makes me look/feel more presentable on a daily basis. I’ve also had my lips done years ago and nobody has ever noticed, when I’ve told people they are always shocked because they imagine ‘duck lips’ when I only have half a ml as I was so conscious of my thin natural lips. Compared to some women, I am very very natural and definitely not made up but compared to others I may appear ‘groomed’. Every person is different and that’s what makes life so interesting. I think the only people being unreasonable are those being rude in their replies.

Always smug people who are determined to believe they can always tell. It’s obvious when it’s obvious. When it’s nit obvious you would never know unless you knew that person before and could see a change.

You don't think getting a blow dry for an occasion is fairly standard?

Even my mum will do that, who would certainly be a minimalist on everything else including make up

We go out and work for our money like everyone else. Jesus what a comment.

Hair blow dry every week
nails every other week
hydra facial every 2 months
Botox every 3 months
lash lift every 3 months
tiny amount of lip filler every 6 months
laser hair removal top up every 12 months

Looks like it’s just you and me OP!! 😂 Most of my friends have similar but I’m not sure of the frequency.

Also this is true. Men aren’t expected to invest loads of time/money in looking good as their other qualities are considered more important by society. Women are still judged a lot more on their looks. Everyday sexism in action.

As a teenager, I hated having fuller lips and envied those with nice petite, more feminine lips. Oh how fashion changes!

Women in their twenties who I work with do all of those except the fillers. They are constantly broke, taking selfies and feeling anxious about their appearance. It fascinates me but also saddens me.

I get a hair cut every 6 months. No nails, eyebrows, Botox or filler.

In my experience, you're not typical. I only know a handful of women who get their nails done regularly, let alone the cosmetic procedures.

If you fake tan every week, what colour are you now!

Absolutely not!!!

lash lift - never heard of this.

I bet the tiny bit of lip filler isn't even noticeable. Mine certainly isn't. But somehow we look like blow up dolls apparently 😂🙈

Men aren’t expected to invest loads of time/money in looking good as their other qualities are considered more important by society.

Yes, kind of - but again, most men I know eg parents of my DC friends, make an effort with hair, clothes, exercise.

I don't care how it sounds, I'm very glad I'm a women and can wear make up, have a lot of clothing choice, change my hair - often these are the armour with which I face life.