To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

@Wnfatt22

Yes, that's a fair point. I didn't take it as goady, more a genuine belief that most women did do a lot of these procedures / treatments.

I started getting my nails done a few years ago after I noticed my then-manager had hers done. She seemed so 'together' and more professional, even tho otherwise she didn't wear much make up / so much with hair.

Then I noticed everyone I saw eg school mums had them done.

I decided to it once & was hooked. I love the ritual, the colour, the end result. I feel polished & ready for work. My nails are short & I just have straight forward Shellac. In the pandemic I didn't exactly miss it - but then I was going nowhere & felt completely depressed throughout! I was straight back there when they reopened & I felt brilliant. To me, my nails are more than just 'nails'. It's a social interaction & a statement of self-care.

Maybe most women are just naturally beautiful. Lucky.

Most women are, by definition, average-looking. Women don't choose not to do all that high maintenance bollocks because they are 'naturally beautiful', but because they can't be arsed, can't afford it, disagree with it or don't like the over-done look, or that they are happy looking presentable/nice and haven't got caught up in the ridiculous and pointless quest to be beautiful.

I Have pink Birkenstocks I'm half way there😂😂

I enjoy being out in nature and all of that too. I just wouldn't feel confident without everything I have done. Not yet unfortunately

500 replies in 90 mins!

I have a very strict skincare routine that I do everyday - it's not long, complex or fancy it's just something I need to do to keep my skin feeling comfortable and not flaky or tight. I get my hair cut twice a year but I don't colour it (yet, I'm 42 so probably will need to soon), I have a facial once a year as a birthday treat if I can justify it.

I really resent the implication that I don't care about myself or my appearance because I don't have things that are fake - tan, plastic nails, random things in my face. I generally find that those things make you look older the older you are.

Why would they look ridiculous? Having your brows shaped and a facial will not look ridiculous to anyone. It will just make them look tidy and their skin will look better. Botox every 6 months and minimal lip will be again very subtle. And in what misogynistic land of twat is having your nails done ridiculous unless they get ridiculous nails. You work with bitchy people by the sounds of things.

Nope , Ireland.

I work with a couple of women that do most of what you do (they're not quite at the age of wanting Botox yet as far as I know). But I probably have more friends and colleagues who are more in the area of being lucky if we've shaved our legs in the past 6months.

Personally I do very little. But also care minimally about my appearance, so long as I am clean and suitably dressed for the occasion.

Don’t know a single person who does any of these things. No one I know goes for the fake nails / fake tan / plumped lips / Botox face thing. We tend to be content enough just to have great careers, good at sport, healthy & strong, busy in the outdoors etc. Less bothered about chucking money at having gel put on our nails to a rigid timetable.

I sometimes brush my hair?! Been over 2 years since it was cut. I can't imagine spending money on the things in the OP.

I exercise and do therapy so it's not all superficial.

First question, why do you bother? Why an earth would you need Botox at 36? I can’t help but think this is more psychological than physical but I‘ m no expert.

Never had nails done (I play a musical instrument and do sport so long nails are out, plus I HATE how they feel), never had eyebrows done, never had botox, get hair cut about once every 3-4 months. Don’t dye it. I could afford it but would rather not bother. I look ok. I’d say most of my friends, all above average wealth and about 10 years older than you are about the same, although some do dye their hair. I just don’t really see why it’s necessary to spend so much time and money on this. If you enjoy it and can afford it though then that’s fine, but it’s way more than anyone else I know does.

I exercise and do therapy so it's not all superficial.

Exactly OP - that's what I was saying in my post, in case I wasn't clear. That it wasn't either / or!

Out of the op list, I've had my nails done once (and I'm old so it was before gel and extensions and shizzle).
I do do my own self tan on my legs sometimes because they're pale AF!

It can save time. Having your brows done regularly and your skin in to top condition means less daily maintenance and less makeup required. Same with subtle Botox and filler. I barely wear makeup now as I look fresh without. If I didn’t get my nails done I would have horrible unkempt peeling nails as they have always been rubbish.

Not really. Amazing green eyes, big lips, jet black hair. I do not wear make up nor diet

OP I'm in ireland too and this is very similar to what myself and majority of women I know would do. I get my nails done every month, eyebrows done when needed, wish I could afford to get a facial done more often than I do. I tan whenever I have a night out (or sometimes just to make myself feel better but don't have a ritual of doing it weekly). A lot of my friends would be in the same boat, some would also get lashes done. No botox or lip filler here, only know 3 of my friends get botox and 1 has lip filler. YANBU

The idea that you think you need botox at 36 is sad

God, the judgment.

Why is it a 'rigid timescale'? Like most things, they have to be done regularly (if you like doing them). That's not rigid!

Most people plan activities they like regularly.

Crikey! I don't do any of that!! I've never had Botox or lip fillers. Had a facial once in my twenties. Do get my eyebrows done sometimes when they need taming! Have had fake tan done about 3 times in my life! And have had my nails done about 6 times in my life (incl my wedding day, my sil's wedding day and my DBs wedding day!)

I do all of this minus the lip fillers but have had cheek fillers. I guess I am chasing a particular aesthetic and Im struggling to embrace aging. I was always conventionally attractive when I was young and I do struggle to accept life/myself without that identity. That’s the (not so attractive) truth. It is what it is.

Yes, also in Ireland and bar the Botox & fillers, most women I know do mostly the same: nails, eyelashes, brows, tanning, waxing - to a greater or lesser degree, based on preference obviously.

I don't think I know anyone who gets Botox or filler, and it's not a choice I'd make either.

Is it a spray tan once a week?
I get hair& eyebrows done regularly but not any of the other things.
Do you have children, full time work? Can't imagine how you have time for all those appointments

Also hair extensions