To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

Genuinely, how do you afford this?

DH and I are average earners I would say, two DC in nursery so that is where most of our money goes, but even before DC I couldn't have afforded anything like OP does. Currently I cut my own hair as hairdresser is so expensive and do my own eyebrows, I'd like to be able to get these done again in the future (maybe one day when DC move out...). I can't imagine having the money for much more on a regular basis.

I don't agree with it as a concept.

I'm genuinely curious - why do you disagree with it so fundamentally?

I mean, overdone fake tan is awful. But lots of people feel, and consider they look, better with a bit of a tan.

I think it's different to Botox or fillers that rarely seem to be natural & fundamentally alter the look of the person.

God some of these comments are so nasty.

Well from the perspective that many families couldn't afford all those beauty treatments however much they might like them and think that they improved their appearance .... you are.

I wouldn’t be opposed to doing those things but I’ve neither the time nor money 😂

I fake tan only if going on a night out or in the summer where I’ll be showing more skin. I get my nails done if I have a few events coming up (once or twice a year) hair cut/highlights refreshed couple times a year. Never felt the need to inject anything into my face but that might change in the next ten years or so (I’m 32)

Never had eyebrows or lashes ‘done’ but wear make up probably 3/4 times a week.

I also think the whole concept of "self care" is getting a bit warped. I first came across it in treatment for depression. Cleaning my teeth or making a cup of tea was self care. Yes pampering counts but a beauty regime is not the sole definition of self care.

No and I don’t know anyone who does.

I care about my appearance but don't have the time & patience for all that!

😂😂 Thanks

Great Post! P2 is pretty much my approach to living well and looking my best, beautifully summarised. Good advice after that too.

Oh people notice these things. They're just too polite to say, either way. I mean, "have you had something done?" may suggest to you that they think you look shit normally. Or if you asked them directly, "I've had botox and filler, what do you reckon?" They're not going to tell you that it looks fake or awful because that's rude and they wouldn't want to make you feel bad. Neither are they going to tell you that it was a waste of money because they can't see any difference.

I suppose if someone says "have you been away or started a new healthy eating plan? You look really well/refreshed?" then that could suggest that they think you look better than usual? But it could also be them believing that you've had something done but they're too polite to ask, and this is a way around it.

I care about my appearance, I don’t do any of things.

Yes, even people who wouldn't be considered low income are struggling with the CoL right now. Most people do not have money for those things.

I think you’re getting replies from people who see being low maintenance as a badge of honour and look down on those who do a little extra. I don’t think it’s insecurity just a choice.
All of my friends would do something to their eyebrows/nails probably 50/50 DIY vs professional. I get someone to tint mine as I don’t trust myself. A good few would be regular gel/acrylic nails or at least for special occasions eg weddings or holidays.
All of my friends would wear makeup in some capacity everyday though work days might just be a bit of mascara/concealer.
Don’t know anyone who advertises they do Botox/fillers but I suppose they might and I don’t know.
Pretty much all my friends except the gingers or people with naturally darker skin would fake tan in the summer mostly out of a bottle. I’ve had a spray tan twice when I was bridesmaiding.

None of them. Even when I was younger. How did you manage in the pandemic?

If you can afford it and it makes you happy then up to you. But definitely not the norm.
I spend my money on concerts and holidays as they make me happy :)

No. I have my own nails, not long, with shellac polish. Sometimes I get fun stuff, sometimes basic. I have never had fake nails.

I'm 64, never been to a nail bar or had a facial. My skin is excellent, clean and glowing. I cleanse and moisturise every day, drink lots of water and eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Hate the look of fake, plumped-up lips, but I wear make-up most days.

I don't have the time or money for those things. I do think that sounds quite high maintenance, but then I'm a lazy, scruffy bugger.

Nope, I do none of those things. I would say that I'm conventionally attractive but I look after myself by exercising, using sunscreen daily under light make-up and managing stress well.

Some basic barbie clone looking woman.

I do none of those and don't know anyone who does. I do care about my appearance but I think I have a different idea of beauty than you do

I get a manicure and gel nails every 3 weeks
Brows threaded every 3 weeks and tinted every 6 weeks
Dermaplaning twice a year
0.5ml lip filler twice a year
I do my own lashes and apply a fresh set every 10 days or so
Full body massage every 8 weeks
Just contemplating some botox as starting to look a little frowny between the eyes

I do none of those things. I stretch to a box hair dye to cover my premature greys and my mum cut my hair last time. We have two small kids in childcare and absolutely no spare money to do the things you've listed! I'm sure you look great, whereas I'm well aware that I look a bit of a mess most of the time!

You should definitely treat yourself to a professional job on your nails, you've done so well!