To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

she’d never had a pedicure

I never have either but I have no problems with my feet (in fact they are very nice looking). I'm in my late 40s. I am perfectly capable of cutting my nails and putting on a bit of moisturiser if needed. I also don't like people messing about with my feet/hands/skin/whatever if it's not essential but that's just my preference, I don't enjoy going to the hairdresser either although I do go.

People are making a lot of money out of convincing women to convince other women that everyone needs all these things regularly though aren't they? 😉And if you enjoy it, can afford it, and like the results, great. But that isn't the case for everyone on the beauty treadmill at the moment is it?

I have to say, the one thing I'd encourage anyone to do, if I was asked, is her a good brow shape & tint. It makes such a difference, even if you don't use any makeup.

That plus a good haircut. So 2 things! 😄

Absolutely not. Where did you get this idea?

Women who don't go for these treatments don't consider it a treat, more akin to a chore that has to be tolerated. A facial or a shoulder massage to me is physical torture. And doing my nails would be so boring and impractical once done.

People can spend their money on whatever they like. You are not a nice friend to judge her on the state of her feet. Why don't you tell what you really feel about her feet.

I care about my appearance but the only thing I get done are my eyebrows threaded and my nails painted

Well yeah my opinion is irrelevant to everyone else but you could say that about the comments people have made about plastic surgery etc. I don't agree with it as a concept.

No, I don't do any of that. I don't like being fussed. I get my hair done every couple of months and that's it.

YABVU. I don't do any of that and a large percentage of women would not be able to afford that even if they were so inclined.

Yeah that's high maintenance.

I'm sure you look nice but DAMN that's a lot of money.

My daily skin routine is to wash with a face cleanser bar in the shower, then apply lidl £1.50 moisturiser.

I get my haircut every six weeks (it’s short), nails every three weeks (despite keeping them short too), eyebrows every six weeks, a touch of Botox every six months and I have an aethestician appointment every three months or so.

You wouldn’t think it to look at me. I never wear make up and am usually dressed in sports clothes, covered in mud and look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.

I’m very into fitness, nutrition and looking after my body, so the Botox kind of goes against that…but without it, I have an incredibly deep line between my eyebrows that makes me look like I’m permanently frowning and absolutely miserable.

That's mean. OP never said she thought she was ugly, just that she didn't see herself as beautiful.

I have an ordinary manicure every six weeks or so and microbladed eyebrows every 16-18 months having plucked them to death in the '90s - that's it.

I have a decent skincare routine mostly because I enjoy it, and I cut my own hair when I remember. I've never had fake tan or botox and no plans to start now.

I don't do any of them and agree with your friends that it sounds high maintenance.

I know people who have their nails or brows done and are otherwise low maintenance and well-groomed, but the only people I know who do lots from your list are colleagues and acquaintances who come off as very image-focused.

MN is the wrong place to admit you care about your appearance

Most people care about their appearance. Your mistake seems to be thinking that only orange people with fake nails and toxins injected into their faces care about their appearance. I don't have those things done precisely because I do care about my appearance, and I prefer to look like a natural human woman.

To some extent it depends on the women you mix with. I'm the same age as you and I don't get any of that done bar the facial. I pluck my own brows and do my own waxing. I get acrylics on weddings but otherwise in my job it's easier to have short, neat nails. I do have a good routine re moisturising and take care of my skin.

All that matters is how you feel about it and if it makes you feel good then continue.

I consider myself well groomed if I've shaved my legs 🤣

YABU.
I clip my own hair. I wash it with soap.
I don’t use moisturiser.
The first post is ridiculous, I do t know any women that do that!

But nicely applied tab doesn't make women look worse!

It's fine to choose not to do it yourself but don't judge others who do.

Sure there are crap tans. And I don't myself like the look of Botox / fillers.

But the level of judgment about women's self care on this thread is depressing.

I suppose it's quite relative to your social circles, field of work etc.

There are probably social circles/ sets of people (celebrities or internet influencers for example) for whom the amount of stuff you get done is considered conservative because you haven't had under-the-knife work done e.g new boobs or a nose job.

In contrast, you do probably get more than the 'average' British woman.
I live in a smallish town in the Scottish countryside and most women I see on the street don't wear makeup or have their nails done.

On most of my Zoom calls meeting with other writers/ creative types I'm the only one wearing makeup.

I don't do fake tan, eyebrows, nails etc because the upkeep would be too expensive for me and would be too many appointments- I would run out of patience.

I do however like to wear makeup, paint my nails on I like to work out 5 times a week, which is probably a luxury of time for most people.

I couldn't care less whether people do a whole range of self care routines such as the OP, or whether they do nothing at all. I'd prefer them to adopt basic hygiene practices but beyond that I care more about what sort of person they are than what they look like. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway. Great for OP if she's happy doing what she does and thinks it makes her look better. It's likely that lots of people will disagree.

I dont do a single one but dont begrudge anyone having any. Nails are pointless for me, happy with natural eyebrows (just plucked at home) and would never do botox or fillers (own opinion). I dont know when I would fit it in though - I struggle to find time for my hair appointment every 3 months 🙈

I get my hair cut once every couple of months - dye it myself usually. Had a straightening treatment recently which makes life a lot easier!
Ususlly get eyebrows threaded or shaped but I often tweezer out myself if cba.

Get nails done if a special occasion.
Never had Botox and wouldn’t need fillers as my lips are full.
Had fake tan once, I looked orange in the photos.

I’m considered to be very groomed and high maintenance; friends make (kind) jokes about it. I have my hair cut and coloured every six weeks and I do my own nails every week. And that’s it. I don’t know anyone - anyone at all - who injects stuff into her face…..

Read Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth OP, it's an oldie but still very relevant.

Me. I splash a bit of water on my face. And that's it. I do keep fit, sleep well, eat well and enjoy exercise... that's good for me physically and mentally.