To think most women do all of the self care beauty routines I do.

[summerfinn]

Had this conversation with a friend today that seems to think I'm high maintenance. I get my nails done every month and eyebrows and a facial. I also fake tan once a week. Botox every 6 months and get my lips slightly fillled twice a year ( I have naturally thin lips)

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance. AIBU to think this ?

Some nasty responses on this thread! MN can be such a weird place! I do some of those things op, and I do others not listed. So what? My money, my choice. No one other than my beautician would know what I have done, I do it for me. My DH honestly doesn’t notice and wouldn’t dream of “insisting” on anything! Most of the women I know have regular haircuts, some have colour, nails, waxing etc. whatever works for them and none of them give a shiny shite what anyone else thinks about it!

I think there’s a lot of shaming here.. I have Botox, I have quite a number of friends who do this too. All/most get facials and brows/eyelashes done. Regular waxing and nails are less regular.
spray tans for big occasions, and use home gradual tan.
Hair done regularly too.
We’re all in our 30’s, have always looked after ourselves in this way and have the money to do so.
Also all attempt to go to the gym.

That's too much effort! As soon as I get home I get straight into my comfy clothes and that's it. Then in the morning I lick my thumbs to rub under my eyes to clean away the smudged mascara before rolling over to say good morning to DP.

I'm a pro at being lazy.

Never done any of those and do care about my appearance.

I don't agree with fake tan

I'm not wasting anything. I don't drink or go to pubs ect . So each to their own I guess.

I've never had a pedi, but I do own a pumice stone and foot cream

I do none of these things. I have my nails done once, and my eyebrows a handful of times in my life.

Lots of people do get these things done regularly, if they didn't there wouldn't be so many clinics and salons.
Each to their own.
I paint my nails and tan when I can be bothered (once a month)
I have Botox
I've had semi permanent make up because I'm lazy
I get my hair done
I have ipl facials a couple of times a year (my birthday and Christmas presents)
Most of my friends are at a similar level to me
I also exercise regularly and eat well.
I do what makes me happy, it isn't for anyone else. I'm also happy to do the school run, make up free in my joggers

I agree with you. I’m feeling a bit sad for OP who thinks this level of effort is needed just to ‘care about your appearance’.

Appearance is the least interesting thing about a person and there are so many better ways to spend your time than doing all this.

Hair cut and coloured every 6 weeks

Fringe trimmed and blow dry every 2 weeks

Nails done every 2 weeks

Leg wax/bikini wax every 3 months

Facial every month

Have professional job and need to look the part

I don't do any of these, and I am 51. But here's the thing: I don't actually believe I need any of these. I am under the delusion that I look perfectly fine the way I am, except maybe the eyebrow trim.

I''ve never had a pedicure in my life. I'm sure most women haven't actually as most can have perfectly nice feet by cutting and filing their own toenails and moisturing their feet? A bit of nail varnish looks better in sandals and flip flops.

But perhaps the women that need regular professional pedicures wear heels and uncomfortable shoes a lot? I live in boots and trainers mainly so don't any foot problems.

I bet you’re not as ugly as you think you are OP.

I’m probably more high maintenance. I do nails, fake tan weekly, Botox three times a year, hair coloured and extensions refitted every 6-8 weeks. I dye my own brows. I live in a small town and tbh even the low maintenance looking women get Botox. It’s really common now

Fitness and eating well is more important

I know one person who has lip fillers, a few who get their nails done, and several who get their eyebrows done regularly. But most of all I know many women who do none of the above.

I get a lash lift and brows tinted and waxed every 8 weeks, but I mainly do that because I'm far too lazy to wear makeup but also too blonde to get away without.

I think a fair number of women do do all these things. I see plenty where I live.

In my own immediate social & work circle - no. I see a whole range of approaches. Most women I know opt to do some personal maintenance and grooming among the lines you suggest eg nails / facials / haircuts + dye or similar / tan and so on.

For me, exercise is what matters most and I do that daily.

I also get my nails done (Shellac) regularly, and highlights / balayage c every 2 months. I never get a facial, but do my own. I very occasionally will get a spray tan, and I love it. So much better than my own efforts and I feel great while I have it. I wear make up daily.

For me, any injectables are of no interest; I don't massively like them on others.

But it's all personal choice - I don't think anyone is odd for doing any of these, or for not doing anything. If it helps women feel good either way, go for it.

But they

This. Lip fillers look horrible

I’ve never done any of those things. I would definitely say that was high maintenance. Some of those things actually make people look worse -like self tan.

MN is the wrong place to admit you care about your appearance 🤣🤣I do all of that too. And contrary to what one clearly very envious poster said about her colleagues, who take pride in their appearance, I look great for my age and consider it money well spent. And yes I am very vain🤣🤣🤣🤣

I care about my appearance but i don’t do any of that. I look after my skin, eat right, dye my hair and do my own nails. You can’t say that anyone who doesn’t do those things doesn’t care about their appearance.

I was under the impression most women do these things if you care about your appearance.

Well, no, not the "most women" I know. I care about being clean and presentable in a basic way. I like to wear reasonably nice clothes to business meetings and evenings out, parties etc. The women I know are similar, will have hair cut from time to time, and possibly coloured in some cases, perhaps a little make-up etc. if preferred. Some skin care as needed, trimming of errant eyebrows (they go mad as you get older), and one of my close-ish circle goes to the nail salon quite often or does her nails frequently herself, rest don't. A couple use straighteners but not every day, most don't. (These are women of quite a few ages 20s-50s and various professions, plus some SAHMs). I literally know no-one well who is into nail bars, fillers etc.

I happen to have been complemented twice on how I look in the past fortnight, and I have short clean nails, only wear make-up on evenings out (and wasn't on an evening out) and my hairstyle is very simple, and I don't wear particularly fashionable or exciting clothes as I'm usually exercising or running errands. I'm not a stunner lookswise, so it's just, I assume, that not everyone is into the high-maintenance look? I walk and go to the gym, I probably have a healthy glow and don't look stressed. My hair is in good condition.

I am not criticising you, and you should do what you want to and are comfortable with, but I just want you to realise that there are a lot of different ways of being a typical, presentable woman, in the workplace, relationships and the world in general. And they are all okay 😎

Exactly!

my original comment was tongue in cheek. I was only mildly surprised and then noticed her feet. It doesn’t affect my opinion of her nor did I comment on her feet.

I can’t bear having dry feet or cracked heels and have a long handled pumice thing that is great. Some people it doesn’t bother and that’s fine.

Funnily enough I have managed to hold down a professional job for the best part of 30 years without ever having had my legs waxed or my feet scraped. Then again, it wasn't on the job description.