What should I pay my mum for watching my children?

[Buddythecat1]

My mum has agreed to help out and watch my children for the few hours I'll be at work,
Never had to deal with this type of arrangement before so I don't want to offend her but equally don't want to give her heaps (because I'm not going to be raking it in either) (I'll only be on minimum wage at 12 hours but doing 40 in the next week)
How much would you offer?

This. I was a bit taken aback initially at paying a gran for childcare but considering it’s going to be a regular thing and they chose to have 4 kids and a dog I think they need to take responsibility and £20 a week is extremely reasonable. I was expecting like closer to £80 a week.

You're obviously doing your best and I really hope you can sort something with your mum but I just can't believe that a childminder costs 5 quid an hour per child. I don't know any that do it for less than 20 and some charge 40.

My mum offered the same, one child, insisting she'd be spending quality time with him, BUT fully expecting me to pay her not only my entire weeks wage, but her fee asked worked out another half on top, she'd looked up online london prices I think ( we're in rural wales!). We're only talking a minimum wage 25 hr a week scrappy job too... was better for me and the finances to eventually find a childminder, part funded. Caused a huge row though as I was accused of preferring a stranger to care for child and keeping grandchild away ( turned out to be few more hours unpaid either side of job took up all my time spare fuel cash and energy! )

Breeding out of control, aren't you a charmer.
And actually I was working ft, we were only entitled to about £50 UC, I only left that position due to being promised an nhs job. We then had two UC payments, expecting us to survive on £700 a month
Soz for claiming shit loads of benefits 🤨
Hence why we are both trying to work right now!
My week of work, plus next weeks work and my partner wage will reduce our UC back down to bare bones, is that good enough for you?

I’m with you Snowsandshowers. I have looked after both grandchildren from six months old until school and now still do school run. Loved every minute and have a wonderful relationship with them. I did it for love not money.

You said you are claiming universal credit. You won’t mess it up by using childcare. Claiming is easy.

you choose a childminder of your choosing and they will have a registration number. You enter that and a copy of your contract onto UC. Then each month inform them how much you have spent and upload a copy of the receipt.

you will get £259 of your £305 bill back! Why wouldn’t you?

it will allow you to work and gain the financial and mental health benefits and put you in a good position for working more when the smallest goes to school. It also sounds like your mum will tolerate them whilst a professional will nurture them and be following the early years curriculum for your youngest. My kids did and still do lovely activities with their childminder

The chances are that both of our wages will cancel uc anyway
And the childminder is over a grand a month

And this is why you will claim back 85% of it! You are putting a barrier up where there is none. The whole sim of it is to encourage and facilitate you to work

You must be in 2 very well paid part time jobs to cancel out all the UC. Certainly with your £500 income and your partner part time too I can’t see that’s possible

Looking after children involves additional transport, heating, food and energy costs and that's regardless of whether you're related to the children or not. Childcare seems to be the only work where labour is expected to be given for free if you're a grandparent. The grandmother expects and probably needs to be paid so deserves respect.

I'm working 43 hours in the next 5 days
And doing 36 hours from the end of next week
I probably will be doing similar hours for the rest of the month as they are short staffed

It seems really strange to pay a grandparent as our parents have our children one day each and we don’t pay. My friend paid her mum quite a bit but still cheaper than nursery but her mum struggled for money and would have had to work otherwise. My parents are well off and retired so not an issue. If I was expected to pay going rate I would personally go down the childminder route and tax free childcare. It could get messy.

I don’t see any problem with paying. They may adore their grandchildren but don’t want to give up all their hard earned free time, maybe need a bit of cash, maybe don’t drive so can’t get out of the house easily, maybe the children are damned hard work. As another poster said, maybe they already work. And it’s always the mum that gets asked, never the dad. They’ve done their child rearing, don’t take advantage without offering something in return.

Your mum is disgusting why would you want paying to look after your grandchildren

My mother and mother in law both look after my son one day each a week for free and if I had the money I would 1000000000% put him in nursery. You feel trapped and its hard work.

Oh my word, what sort of grandmother wants PAYING to look after her own grandchildren....it should be enjoyable and done out of love FFS.I get showing appreciation for the help, but paying, really?!?

You are vile. Do you not think most people have jobs before having children and then circumstances change were they either made redundant, can't afford childcare, partners leave, ill health etc come along?

Keep reading the DM and not have a logical debate with yourself on how people end up in these situations.

If your mum wants paying to look after her grandchildren then she sounds selfish. You may as well use local childcare and claim the tax free money

Well done you for hiring a professional.

Cheeky of your Mum to want to charge professional prices when she has no training or qualification beyond a blood link to the child.

4 kids is a lot for your mum. If 3 in school then you would be better getting a childminder for the fixed shifts (if there are any) and claiming it back through UC.

It is hard juggling childcare and work but there are 2 of you. Plenty of single parents manage it and so can you- it all depends on your attitude.

Long term, you will be better off in work and before you know it all kids will be in school.

^ This @Buddythecat1

Please use a calculator to assess your position.

https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

I posted earlier that I'm happy to look after my GC for nothing but didn't mention that my GS goes to nursery for which my DD receives a subsidy. However his nursery has become more and more expensive during the time that he's been going there, it went up by £250 p.m. in January. Even with the subsidy the cost of nursery fees is too high for very many people and this level of rise with virtually no notice is outrageous.
Fortunately he's going to school in September so she will use breakfast club and wrap-around some days and I will give them breakfast, take and collect them for at least three days a week to keep the cost down and to avoid them having to do such a long school day.
Holiday clubs are expensive and often do not cover a full working day, but they are nowhere near as costly as nurseries.

Yes, my DD is a single parent and does have to juggle.
Please remember that, even if children are in school, there are still the school holidays to cover until they are old enough to look after themselves.

Wow! I wouldn’t dream of being paid to look after my DGC! My reward is far greater than money. I have a close relationship with them and I get to do fun things and go to places that I wouldn’t normally do and I’ve made good friends with other grandparents in the same situation

@Buddythecat1 again please use the calculator… you will be surprised how much support for childcare there is. Look at tax free childcare too.

Consider wrap around for school (as breakfast club/after school can be cheaper) and childminder for the wee one.