Was I accidentally homophobic?

[jamie98765]

Firstly, apologies in advance if I upset anyone with this, that is not my intention. But if I am wrong, I need to educate myself and the only way to do so is to ask questions, I hope this is a safe space to do so.

Am I homophobic by describing someone as camp???

One of my straight male colleagues refers to himself as camp. Recently in a conversation, I described him in the same way, one of my managers overheard and said that this was a homophobic term and unacceptable. I explained that I believe camp to mean flamboyant or effeminate I also said that not all gay men are camp And not all camp men are gay.
However, my manager is insistent that this term is homophobic and has decided to take it further.

I have spoken to several gay friends who do not believe it to be homophobic, but I wondered what the general consensus was?

Aside from the fact I don't want to get in trouble, I genuinely didn't believe I was in the wrong , but now I am questioning that.

Apologies again if this upsets anyone but I need to know.

TIA

Wow, your dog walker sounds like a twat.

I have said he suggested that as he is camp he was less intimidating then a bunch or burly men. Which by the way the entire team agreed with not just myself

It's not a word to use at work but in general you shouldn't comment on people's appearance/mannerisms in a work environment.

It's OK for somebody to describe themselves as anything they like but it could become problematic if others use the same word to describe them.

In the scenario described above, let's pretend the office needed a cake for somebody's birthday and a woman says "I'll pick up the cake at my local bakery, as you can all see I'm quite fat because I love cake", the team would not think it was then OK to describe the colleague as the "fat one".

I find it really disturbing that you find the use of the word ‘camp’ equivalent to people who collect gollywogs.

That message when looking at singularly doesn't read correctly. It was about someone else making assumptions on this post- What That should have said was...

I have said (in this post) that he himself suggested that as he is camp and that he was less intimidating then a bunch or burly men. (His words not mine) Which was also agreed by the entire team who were there at the time and when he told me about it afterwards (again referring to himself as camp) I agreed.

I'm not actually sure tbh just my gut feeling. I suppose any general comment on your appearance or behaviour can be seen that way. Someone called me "jolly" once and I was upset although they meant it in a nice way - cos I was overweight and I obviously made them think of a fat middle aged woman from an Enid Blyton book 😀. I dunno I just personally wouldn't like to be called camp or use it

It's not homophobic but it's a stupid thing to say and makes no sense.

@CountZacular "I find it really disturbing that you find the use of the word ‘camp’ equivalent to people who collect gollywogs."

I don't.

Hi all,
just looking for some advice regarding a work situation.

My old manager wasn’t very professional when I returned to work after being off after surgery. First day back in he took me into a room and just started slating people to me (not what I wanted to hear on my first day) things went downhill after the first week and I ended up being stressed and workload was unbearable.
I took it upon myself to speak to management who once addressed the situation made the decision to move me with another colleague to my relief. Great this was good news and def less stress etc.

The guy they swapped me with we were friends and chatted all the time, since the day we moved teams he has been nothing but arrogant, rude and disrespectful. His mannerisms towards only myself are very difficult to understand. I have approached my manager to advise if the situation but nothing has been done about it.
3 months on and his behaviour has t changed, last week there were 2 incidents where his behaviour and attitude really got to me. Again spoke to my manager and it’s in one ear and out the other.

I confided in another manager about how annoyed and fed up I am of the situation, I called the guy a ‘bitch’. The manager then asked me “are you homophobic”?? Which completely took me by surprise, when I asked how did he ask that & was it because I called him a bitch he replied “no because they are both gay”! I said of course not, my close friend (who died suddenly aged 38) is/was gay and his reply was well he’s stil gay even if he’s dead. I was in total shock!!

Regardless of their sexuality they have both been awful to me, their sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with their behaviour.
I have a meeting with senior management and I’m just trying ti get my head around the fact of how someone can just come out and ask me that, he’s made that assumption and has really offended me.

what are your thoughts??

People tend to use the word "camp" to describe a man who is effeminate.

I feel it's inappropriate to use in the workplace. Why do you feel the need to comment on a colleagues manner?

@Nicolan5254 I think you need to start your own thread- your point is going to get swallowed up in this one and may not get the attention you need.

I can’t seem to work out how to post my own thread 🙈

It's not the worst thing in the world but come on. The world has moved on a bit from carry on now, it's just not the sort of thing you should be saying at work it isn't appropriate. You really make yourself stand out as a backward fuddy duddy saying that sort of thing then doubling down when it's pointed out. It's not other people being too sensitive, it's you.