Was I accidentally homophobic?

[jamie98765]

Firstly, apologies in advance if I upset anyone with this, that is not my intention. But if I am wrong, I need to educate myself and the only way to do so is to ask questions, I hope this is a safe space to do so.

Am I homophobic by describing someone as camp???

One of my straight male colleagues refers to himself as camp. Recently in a conversation, I described him in the same way, one of my managers overheard and said that this was a homophobic term and unacceptable. I explained that I believe camp to mean flamboyant or effeminate I also said that not all gay men are camp And not all camp men are gay.
However, my manager is insistent that this term is homophobic and has decided to take it further.

I have spoken to several gay friends who do not believe it to be homophobic, but I wondered what the general consensus was?

Aside from the fact I don't want to get in trouble, I genuinely didn't believe I was in the wrong , but now I am questioning that.

Apologies again if this upsets anyone but I need to know.

TIA

😁

I wouldn't consider the word an insult so don't see it as homophobic. I think your manager is more virtue signalling than anything as she could have just gently mentioned that she doesn't like that description for flamboyant people.

Your friend isn't insulted and I don't think most gay people would be (confess I'm heterosexual so some might think unqualified to say).

Nothing like the n word, I agree. That is a blatant insult, intended to be derogative.

😂 no it doesn’t, no one owns words and suggesting the word camp is even comparable is bonkers.

Your manager is wrong and needs to educate self.

Camp describes a person’s mannerisms and is nothing to do with being gay.

I have 2 male straight friends who are “camp” and a gay friend who is male and not camp.

Your manager is being homophobic, not you.

It’s down to her personal opinion based on ignorance being used to call you out over something she doesn’t get.

It's a word I would avoid in a work context but I have heard it lately used casually on TV in a positive way, so I think it's less the someone using it to imply someone's sexuality and more to describe flamboyant, fun, light hearted (ironically perhaps the original meaning of gay even). I'd stick to things like approachable, light hearted, fun, non threatening to describe someone at work.

In other words I'd say the word USED to be offensive/ inneuendo/ implication and all a bit judgmental but now I think it is describing a lighter perhaps joyous understanding

That’s only one definition, language is more nuanced than that.

Probably best not used in work setting.
But the manager could have raised it and then let it go.

What’s the punishment going to be anyway? Camp sensitivity awareness camp?

Depends which dictionary you use

a style or mode of personal or creative expression that is absurdly exaggerated and often fuses elements of high and popular culture

exaggerated effeminate mannerisms (as of speech or gesture)

I don’t think it’s homophobic, but I probably wouldn’t use it in work. I think you’re on potentially shaky ground if you use slang words or idiomatic phrases connected with the protected characteristics at work. You never know how others will interpret.

It’s men finding the idea that calling a man a bit effeminate is offensive, because of course, anything feminine is lesser, so therefore it must be an insult to a man. Never mind how much bigger the insult is to women from those men…

I think these days camp is just a normal adjective to describe someone's personality / behaviour - he's camp, he's funny, he's impatient, he's quiet, he's unflappable, whatever.

It does sound like the manager is assuming that camp must be derogatory because it implies homosexuality and that's bad - there's your homophobia right there. If you're very pissed off about this (I would be) and feeling brave, this is what I would say in my defence.

If the manager had pulled you up on making vaguely personal remarks about people, that would be one thing, but to link it to homophobia says more about him than you.

That said, I think it was potentially a bit unwise and unprofessional to use this term in the workplace: it's' one of these situations where its wise to wait for the person to identify themselves in a particular way before taking it upon yourself to identify them.

@Thepeopleversuswork if you read the OP and all the OP's posts you will see that she has repeatedly pointed out that this straight colleague and friend does describe himself as camp,so she did not take it upon herself to identify him as camp, she was just repeating what he himself has said.

@jamie98765 In the circumstances, frankly, I think 'camp' was a daft word to use anyway! How about "kind" "gentle" "non threatening"? Being camp does not mean you are also any of those things!

In your shoes OP I'd respond by saying:
The term "camp" isn't intrinsically homophobic.
Although it can be used as a slur, the way you were using it was definitely not as a slur. (Your colleague's support would help here.)
However, you recognise that we are living in times of much greater sensitivity around language and so you'll not use the term "camp" in the workplace in the future. Not because it's a bad word, but because some people might not think about it in context but might simply feel it to it offensive.

This - homophobia aside, 'camp' was a very strange choice of word for this situation.

I have a son who is camp and gay, so what ?

You poor thing.

As PP said people are so quick to be offended on others behalf

Did you mean to cause offence?
Was he offended?

If the answer to these questions is no it shoukd be taken no further!

@TinaYouFatLard "You did nothing wrong OP. All this virtue signalling bullshit is destroying society."

Yep. Definitely that's what's doing it,🤣🤣🤣🤣

I just want to know more about your cat 😂

At the end of the day @jamie98765 you can get as many women as you like telling you that the word camp carries no stigma, it has nothing to do with being gay , it's changed its meaning, their friend/uncle/dad love being called camp etc etc. All it takes is one gay man at work to complain and you will be in the shit. So if I were you I'd come up with a few different adjectives to describe your mate whilst in the office.

Why hasn't the boss ever raised his concerns with the usage with the straight man who has been using it to describe himself then if he deems it inappropriate and offensive? Surely its not that women are easier to target with this.

This was my thought.

Fine for a (straight) man to say this but not a woman apparently.

He is wrong. The Met in NY had a huge "Camp" Exhibition in 2019 and it was the theme for the Met Gala so if it is OK for New York it is OK anywhere.

Surely the difference is saying something about yourself vs saying something about someone else?