Was I accidentally homophobic?

[jamie98765]

Firstly, apologies in advance if I upset anyone with this, that is not my intention. But if I am wrong, I need to educate myself and the only way to do so is to ask questions, I hope this is a safe space to do so.

Am I homophobic by describing someone as camp???

One of my straight male colleagues refers to himself as camp. Recently in a conversation, I described him in the same way, one of my managers overheard and said that this was a homophobic term and unacceptable. I explained that I believe camp to mean flamboyant or effeminate I also said that not all gay men are camp And not all camp men are gay.
However, my manager is insistent that this term is homophobic and has decided to take it further.

I have spoken to several gay friends who do not believe it to be homophobic, but I wondered what the general consensus was?

Aside from the fact I don't want to get in trouble, I genuinely didn't believe I was in the wrong , but now I am questioning that.

Apologies again if this upsets anyone but I need to know.

TIA

Are you Dr Seuss? 😂 love it.

Also don’t think there is absolutely any comparison to the N word and camp. The N word should never be used

What has the world come to that you can't say anything anymore without people calling you out as being transfobic homo phobic/fat shaming slutshaming/ victim blaming or racist.

Jonei · Today 08:55
It’s not your right to use the word camp as a straight person, in other words.

Oh behave

:) :) :)

I believe it's almost the same as reclamation of slurs.

A lesbian/queer woman can call themselves the D word. No one else can (or should at least).

A black person can call themselves the N word. No one else can.

Someone reclaiming ownership of something that was once meant derogatorily towards you doesn't give others the right to use it as well.

Dictionary definition:

behaving and dressing in a way that some people think is typical of a gay man

-so I would say this was in 'iffy' territory. I don't think you've been homophobic by any stretch, but it's probably a word better avoided in work?

Why?

Not everyone gets offended about everything.

The OP’s mate:

Depends how they said it tbh.

"You know Dave, purple hair, wears shorts all year round, a bit camp" is totally different to "Dave is so annoying. He's just so fucking camp!"

I agree that you seem to misunderstand the term - it's somebody behaving outré, rather than calm and meek. You say your colleague self-describes as "camp" - does he possibly use it in this (misapplied) sense and did you pick it up from him? Not sure how much point there is in arguing about the dictionary meaning if neither of you were actually using it as such.

That aside, yes, "camp" is rooted in gay culture, but also, it's gone massively mainstream in recent years. Here's another piece in the context of the Met Gala already brought up upthread:

https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/5/3/18514408/what-is-camp-explained-met-gala-susan-sontag

I don’t think it is homophobic but don’t think it’s professional or appropriate workplace language either.

It's very telling how the self appointed people think they have the right to tell other people what words they do and don't have the right to use.

Camp is comparable to the N-word? !

one of the adjective definition of camp per the dictionary is flamboyant, theatrical, deliberately exaggerated. So if he is these things then you are technically not wrong to say.

people can be camp, as can objectives - hence the term camp as Christmas. It’s all flamboyant and deliberately jubilant.

However OP I do think that the association with camp being used in a derogatory way in the past (and present to be honest) could definitely make it a dubious word to use - especially in a professional environment.

Does it sound like you’ve used it in that way, not at all but I do see the potential problem using the word when talking about a gay man when he is not present.

I think the meaning and use of the word camp has changed. My teen daughter use the word in a totally different way and will some times refer to a piece of clothing as camp. Look in the urban dictionary.

I use it to describe an effeminate male. It could be considered a slur amongst older generations.

It depends how you were saying it...as something to laugh about, I can see why your manager has gone on the side of caution. I'm guessing from the tone of you op it wasn't derogatory or as a put down, which would obviously be a problem.

Yes! I knew this reminded me of something 😁

I think it’s a slightly outdated term. Back in the 70s, most gay people you say portrayed on tv were camp (Eg John Inman, Larry Grayson), so if you said someone was camp, you assumed they were gay. . Today, there are a lot more ‘straight’ -gay man in the media.

i don’t think it it’s homophobic, more outdated.

Not at all, we were discussing a recent job where he had to sit with a vulnerable women. I wasn't there but he had described the job and the situation- he had said he was best for the job as out of everyone he wouldn't scare her, when he had explained it to me he had said something along the lines of better the camp guy then a bunch or burly men- this was his wording not mine.
I was discussing this job with someone else. I only used the term camp as he did (and often does) i have nothing but respect for this man.
Whilst I accept maybe I shouldn't have used it in a professional situation. He has used it many time in the workplace and I did not believe it to be homophobic.

I'd get my friend to write a letter to the manager saying that he gives you permission to call him camp any day as he uses it himself and the manager does not have to take offence on his behalf.

Gay here. I would be careful with terms like that at work - particularly if you're straight - but it is all in the context and I wouldn't have been offended in this case. It's like swearing at work - depends on the audience.

Camp is often used as an offensive word against gay men, that's why it's controversial and I can see your manager wondering WTF you were saying, and as the guy's actually straight then it could be a pisstake I suppose.

Personally I hate when straight people use words like 'camp' for themselves but that's a me thing.
Part and parcel of being more accepted is having to put up with it ( and with too many straight women in gay clubs/bars, but that's a whole other thread!)

I’ve just looked it up in three online dictionaries - Oxford, Merriam-Webster and Macmillan. None of them say it’s a slur or derogatory.

A PP likened camp to the word bitch - if you look that up it’s listed as a slur.

So I think OP that your defence is:

a) none of the dictionaries suggest it is a slur or derogatory
b) the individual himself uses that work to describe his personality
c) the individual concerned is not offended
d) you have a personal relationship with the individual and knew he would not be offended

I would also go for:

e) making a counter complaint against the manager for internalised homophobia and for suggesting that camp refers to homosexuality when the dictionaries make it clear that it means something different. Suggest he attends diversity training 😂

However OP, although I don’t believe it’s a slur I think it’s a word that not everyone would like - as evidenced by some comments here. I think it’s also a bit unprofessional - so maybe don’t use it in a work setting in the future. In the example you gave I would have said gentle, mild, non-threatening etc rather than camp.

Oh for god sake, not homophobic at all, your manager sounds like one of those American twats with a victim fetish who film themselves crying in a car over some imagined “attack” and post it on tiktok