How do you accept that you’re going to be single your whole life? How do you get used to the loneliness?

[Sonervousimgonnathrowup]

I could really use some advice before my mental health and all around wellness suffers too much.

I was looking for some single support threads, but most of them seem to be by people who love being single and the good points are basically happy no one is watching tv shows they don’t like or stinking up the bathroom.
And or by people who already have been married and have kids, so they are not actually alone.

Anyone else out there who had to made their peace that it’s never going to be them?
Spring time is here and this has always been the hardest time of the year for me when it seems every couple seems to pop-up into the world and just have to be so effing happy.

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup I started to read this thread as I am alone, although in the main enjoy it, there are times it’s very difficult, invites out, needing someone tobe with me after hospital appointments but I manage with other family members and my great friends

then i saw your comments to @Nereides , who has also given you a suggestion, so incredibly rude and totally uncalled for followed by the really nasty comment as the end of the quoted post

and that is exactly why you are likely to always be alone, your nasty side will soon start to show

@imnotsadyouresad yes the last part of your reply resonates with me. Mostly I am happy being single. For reasons you outlined as well, why settle for a shit man? My friend is preoccupied with my single-dom, always asking why I'm not with someone, don't I want to find someone? Yet every time she has a drink she says she doesn't love her partner and he's mean to her. One night after yet another 'Don’t you want someone?' I snapped and said 'what, to always be moaning like you?'

Once people stop putting relationships up on a pedestal, and value being 'taken' over being alone, people will be able to be happier in their singleness, and maybe more will be like you and realise that you don't have to be with someone, you can be happier by yourself.

I know someone who has never had a relationship, and has made her peace with that, although would have liked a relationship. I guess once you've given up on it ever happening, it doesn't.

I think most of the single and happy people have come out of toxic relationships and appreciate the small things and the ability to please themselves. Very different if you want to share your life with someone, I would think that would be lonely and frustrating.

I'm quite sure there are people in the same boat as you OP, saying exactly the same thing. I would be searching for them online, forums must exist for unhappy singles as well as happy singles.

In the meantime, I echo the people suggesting a dog, not being flippant in any way at all, I know it can't replace a partner! But they do give you a focus and distraction from your own thoughts. Having a living thing in the house besides you can be theraputic. They get you out of the house, which is good for your health, and you meet other dog walkers all the time, and the shared dog bond gets you talking.

Btw, people need to stop judging OP on a few cross words, she's obviously down, no need to start kicking.

Isn't posting the results of an advanced search on the OP discouraged? An AS of this OP shows that she is very vulnerable.

@Tinkerbyebye just stop, please just stop. You’re vilifying someone for a nasty reply and then following it up with an equally nasty comment.

I can 💯 see why OP was upset by the first response to her thread. While I wouldn’t have replied in the way she did, I do get it. All this ‘this is why you’re single, you’ll never meet anyone, your nasty side will always come out’ comments are actually no better than what she said and are just plain horrible.

Bamboozle exists on this thread purely to troll and be a nuisance. I’ve stopped engaging.

I should hide this thread. You are completely wrong. That terrible first post literally went "I don't care what you've said...me me me...woe is me but at least I'm not you".

Nasty, selfish, patronising, Mean Girls response, mirrored by everyone backing Neriedes. I am done here!

No, the first post went, 'I gave up on finding love and compromised, and I've learned to be happy with my compromise as my life isn't going to change.'

The OP hasn't compromised. She still has more options than the first poster. She can choose to be happy on her own, she can make the same compromise, or she can continue to look for romantic love.

Personally, I'm in the 'happy on my own' camp. I don't feel lonely on my own, but I would feel lonely in a relationship where I didn't love the other person romantically and feel that love reciprocated.

Life is about choices.

You win the most ironic comment of the thread!

Just absolutely vile and needless. The only people showing a nasty side are the ones that are saying “no wonder you’re single”. I know LOADS of lovely single people and plenty of marrieds that are absolute arseholes.

You should be embarrassed.

I was reminded today of an singer called Nightbirde. She died of cancer aged 31 last year.
She was on Americas Got Talent.
In her interview she said
You can't wait until life isn't hard to decide to be happy.
That's it really isn't it.
If you have concluded that you are going to be single for the rest of your life and that single equals a lonely miserable life that that's what you will be -lonely and miserable.
So you have a choice
Sit on your sofa and be lonely and miserable or get out there and live your life.
It won't always be easy. But it will be life.