How do you accept that you’re going to be single your whole life? How do you get used to the loneliness?

[Sonervousimgonnathrowup]

I could really use some advice before my mental health and all around wellness suffers too much.

I was looking for some single support threads, but most of them seem to be by people who love being single and the good points are basically happy no one is watching tv shows they don’t like or stinking up the bathroom.
And or by people who already have been married and have kids, so they are not actually alone.

Anyone else out there who had to made their peace that it’s never going to be them?
Spring time is here and this has always been the hardest time of the year for me when it seems every couple seems to pop-up into the world and just have to be so effing happy.

Oh FFS. The first response to the OP was from someone who is married and has kids. No wonder the OP responded the way she did when already feeling massively shit about her life situation. Then a pile on of 'no wonder you're single' blah blah. Because one post determines that of course. And the poster with the snake implication continues to pile on. Lovely.

Anyway OP, I was you until a few months ago. You just sort of accept it and focus on the things that bring you joy and comfort and better to do alone, cliched as it is. Reading the threads on here had me rejoicing more times than not that I was single.

I'm seeing someone now who I met when I changed jobs and whilst it's nice to have someone now to go for meals and drinks with, if it ended tomorrow I'd still be cool with being single.

Don't give up hope if that's what you want.

Do you have to make peace with it? Nothing is permanent, you don't need to have 40 partners in your life, just 1 and you literally don't know how your life might change in the next day/week/year.

Having said that, yes, another spring rolling round with the lighter evenings and sunshine and still on your own could test the optimism of anyone. Many of us will have experienced loneliness and it's awful. You can't be expected to embrace the single life if you aren't happy or enjoying it.

Really hard to advise as may be suggesting things you have already tried. I hope someone will be along with some helpful suggestions for you.

🙄 are we not allowed to tell op she's incredibly rude? Her reply to Nereides was just nasty

Single people don't have a monopoly on loneliness though.

That said, acceptance comes with time and filling your life with purpose in other ways. Friendships, hobbies, work.

Ultimately, its got to come from within.

I am single and always have been, starting from the delicate age of 12 and asking out a boy I liked in class. Never had a relationship of any kind. Highly unlikely to have a relationship in my life. String of one night stands in 20's and stopped because I hated it and the feelings after in the end.

I would, honestly, like to experience falling in love once.

I do think if you've got close enough to marry someone or have babies then you can't understand.

I wish I had a solution or answer for you and I hope that you do meet someone and develop a relationship.

Hmmm I wonder why you’re single 🙄

Oh do stop it. Snotty, snide, utterly unhelpful.

I’m sorry you’re lonely, OP. I do think the grass is often greener sometimes. I remember once bewailing to my brother (father of two little ones and in a fractious relationship) that I had the whole weekend stretched in front of me with nothing to do and no one to see and he was actually envious of a whole weekend without anything he had to do or anyone he had to see.

I think with the possible exception of people who are extremely ugly on the inside, there is someone out there for everyone. Don’t give up hope.

@Fififafa didn't kick anyone and my life is far from miserable (not counting Monday mornings)

But op was being pretty darn bitchy to a previous poster And then again. And again
But then turned into puss in boots with those huge eyes, being all boohoo me
And refuses to answer questions but just goes to look for people to argue with.

I dont get that. At allll

Detractors, leave the OP alone. They clearly stated they are isolated and want to hear from people in the same position. The very first response is from someone who was too rude to fully read their post and completely tone deaf, to the point of selfishness.

The OP clearly stated those married with kids complaining of "loneliness" are not in her position and have a different complaint. At least have the respect to properly read the OP before responding. Thank you.

Why don’t you just tell us the exact answer you’ll be happy with and we’ll parrot it back at you in case you take offence.

maybe your obvious bad attitude is the reason for your loneliness. A grown woman in a strunt is not attractive.

I used it be like you op, in my 20’s all my childhood friends getting married having kids etc

but 10 years later all those married couples are either divorced or look absolutely bored with each other.

its all an illusion if you want kids you can have them by yourself.

and I surround myself with like minded ppl who don’t particularly want kids or marriage either.

Urgh. Reported.

Thing is that postered answered what they did.

They couldn’t find love so they basically made a deal with a mate to marry and have children not because they love each other and fancy the pants off each other but very much a transactional thing. They didn’t want to be lonely. They wanted children.

A lot of older couples are together or not even because of companionship only not because of love.

You beat loneliness by making friends, by having hobbies and again tending to make friends. If you just sit at home alone all the time nothing will change.

Meant to add now I’m in my late 30’s I’m happy 😃 and I’m single and I’ve not desire to change that.

Perhaps what @Sonervousimgonnathrowup needs is to be heard, rather than harangued. They stated right from their OP the type of commenters this thread was aimed at.

Over to you OP 

No, she asked how people made their peace with coming to terms with living on their own - specifically excluding those who are/have been married and/or have kids.

@mainsfed you reported my post? You reported it for the fact i don't understand why op is more fond of arguing than actually taking in advice?

Ok yes. That makes sense

What on earth for?

Arguing? More sticking up for herself from people like you.

Fucks sake people.

Op, just have this deleted and start again maybe next time the first answer will not be "i dealt with it by finding companion and having kids"

This is the best advice on this thread @mainsfed

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup

I am 58 single since I was about 40, no friends with benefits or any other arrangements. I did adopt a child in my late 40s - absolutely not suggesting that as a solution. I did not adopt because I was lonely but because I wanted to be a mum
So I have been totally single for about 18 years or so. When I write that it feels quite surprising.
I'm not saying it's always been easy, there were times when my friends were partnering up and I wanted to be like them. At times it's been a struggle.
Now I am content with my life, I'm not lonely and that isn't because of my son, its not that I've given up or think I'm too old or unworthy
It's just that I'm happy in my life. I think the happiest, or most content people, whether single or in a relationship, are those that are independent and strong in themselves, who aren't actually relying on someone else for their happiness.
I'm happy in my life by understanding that my value as a human being is not determined by whether or not a man has chosen me.
I have built the life I wanted to have. It's more than just having control over the TV or not putting up with someone snoring, but understanding what I really wanted from life and doing it. For me part of that was adopting a child. But it's also about living where I want to live, not pushing for more and 'better'. I live in the second house I bought, its a bog standard Victorian terrace, but its mine and I love it, I don't drive, I have a reasonable job but never been interested in promotions. I decided what was important to me and set my life up accordingly. I have great friends, I'm not lonely although I am often alone.
I have my moments but overall its a good life. If I met someone now, I'm not sure what would change really.
It really comes down to finding your own self worth.

And just seen deadpalm has said the same

This has turned into a truly weird thread 👀

OP unless you're about to dripfeed that you have only days to live I'm not sure why you are assuming you will be single forever. Where is this thought coming from?