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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you don't like my dogs barking at you get the hell off my drive

458 replies

Qantaqa · 01/05/2023 09:34

I'll start this by saying I am tired and miserable so am in no mood to be reasonable today AT ALL.

I have many dogs. Large dogs. There are dog flaps so they can run in and out as they wish onto the property. I am rural and one of the purposes of the dogs is to alert me to people around, so I aren't bothered by them barking if someone comes to the gate.

The gateway to my drive is set back about 15ft so that I can park the car without having to open the gates and drive in. Its clearly my driveway and separate from the road.

There is this one cyclist who every single time after cycling up the hill stops and pulls into the drive and has a rest. Now he could stop on the other side of the road where there is a public track, or he could cycle for like another 30ft and stop at the entrance to the forest but no he chills in the drive. Every. Single. Time.

The dogs bark at him. He shouts at them to be quite. They obviously ignore him. I used to shout them back in but the last few weeks I haven't bothered because well I'm grumpy.

Today my mum has arrived to visit and the cyclist is yet again in the drive. He's had a bit of a go at her. She's come in mithering at me so I've gone out and told him very rudely that if he doesn't like them barking at him to stop standing on the fucking drive. It got into a bit of a heated discussion before I stormed off. He's going to report me apparently as they are intimidating and its illegal to have a camera and no signs and blah blah blah.

So whilst I might BU to have gone out and created more drama instead of ignoring him AIBU to think if you don't want to be barked at get the fuck off my land?

OP posts:
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SmallFerret · 01/05/2023 12:07

Rhondaa · 01/05/2023 11:59

Well, as I said we have alsations out the back across a field and they make a racket constantly. Fine alert owners to visitors but then you train them to stfu you see. Or, most dog owners would.

Show quote history

Oh ok, I get it now.

Your neighbour pisses you off because they can't/won't train their dogs, so you are projecting your annoyance at OP & inventing a scenario that she is equally incompetent.

girlfriend44 · 01/05/2023 12:09

Qantaqa · 01/05/2023 09:34

I'll start this by saying I am tired and miserable so am in no mood to be reasonable today AT ALL.

I have many dogs. Large dogs. There are dog flaps so they can run in and out as they wish onto the property. I am rural and one of the purposes of the dogs is to alert me to people around, so I aren't bothered by them barking if someone comes to the gate.

The gateway to my drive is set back about 15ft so that I can park the car without having to open the gates and drive in. Its clearly my driveway and separate from the road.

There is this one cyclist who every single time after cycling up the hill stops and pulls into the drive and has a rest. Now he could stop on the other side of the road where there is a public track, or he could cycle for like another 30ft and stop at the entrance to the forest but no he chills in the drive. Every. Single. Time.

The dogs bark at him. He shouts at them to be quite. They obviously ignore him. I used to shout them back in but the last few weeks I haven't bothered because well I'm grumpy.

Today my mum has arrived to visit and the cyclist is yet again in the drive. He's had a bit of a go at her. She's come in mithering at me so I've gone out and told him very rudely that if he doesn't like them barking at him to stop standing on the fucking drive. It got into a bit of a heated discussion before I stormed off. He's going to report me apparently as they are intimidating and its illegal to have a camera and no signs and blah blah blah.

So whilst I might BU to have gone out and created more drama instead of ignoring him AIBU to think if you don't want to be barked at get the fuck off my land?

You were unreasonable to swear.

You should have dealt with it in a calm but firm more business like way.

When you start swearing you lose straightaway. You set the tone for how you want the conversation to go.

Viviennemary · 01/05/2023 12:14

If he is on your drive it's trespass if he is next to your drive it isn't. I object to getting agressively barked at for just walking past a house.

mrsfennel · 01/05/2023 12:15

This would fuck me right off, I agree with you. Its one thing for him to be one of those completely unaware people who seem to day dream their way through life, so was on your drive and fussed about dogs. But to have a go at you he is obviously a total dickwad who loves to get a reaction and throw his weight around.

TrashyPanda · 01/05/2023 12:15

He’s a wanker
and a bully

your dogs are fab and are literally doing their job by barking.

could you keep a smelly pile of manure near the gate to deter him?

Tomatotomatopotatopotato · 01/05/2023 12:16

Could you put up a sign saying 'private property' at the very edge of your drive where it meets the main road? I'm wondering if he might not realise that part of your drive is your property, it's possible he thinks your private property begins at the gate.

I hope you find a solution.

Your dogs are gorgeous btw

2bazookas · 01/05/2023 12:18

Why the hell were people urinating on your gate??

Because that's what some slobs do in the countryside. They are so shy and discreet about their body functions that if taken short out in the country they prefer to pee and shit in the privacy of a private gateways or garden. Some of them know it's bad to drop their litter on the lovely landscape so they throw it into someones garden (rather than take it home to their own bin).
Don't even get me started on what some city idiots think their "Right to Roam" means.

SmallFerret · 01/05/2023 12:18

You were unreasonable to swear.
LAYDEEZ! Know your limits!!

You should have dealt with it in a calm but firm more business like way.
OP was calm enough to voice her opinion to a random man being needlessly aggressive to her (& her mum!), was admirably firm, & wasn't on company time so had no need to be what you call businesslike.
I imagine you meant "professional" though, as I would call the seeing off of an entitled & angry man an extremely businesslike performance, which OP is to be congratulated on.

When you start swearing you lose straightaway.
No you fucking don't 😂

You set the tone for how you want the conversation to go.
Yeah.
OP wanted the fucker to fuck off. He fucked off. Job fucking done.

Rhondaa · 01/05/2023 12:19

'You may have noticed that the police use German Shepherds because they are so highly intelligent and trainable.'

Yes trained to bark a lot, intimidate and be aggressive Confused. As always with dogs in the right hands they can of course be trained do what is asked. Sadly with alsations they often aren't in the right hands.

Hueandcry · 01/05/2023 12:19

Your dogs are lovely. Cyclist is an asshole. I'd let them out to gave a bit if a chew at him, doubt he'll stop on your driveway again 😂

SmallFerret · 01/05/2023 12:19

Viviennemary · 01/05/2023 12:14

If he is on your drive it's trespass if he is next to your drive it isn't. I object to getting agressively barked at for just walking past a house.

He's not only on OP's drive, he's halfway up it leaning on her car, & shouting at her mum.

HTH

SmallFerret · 01/05/2023 12:20

Rhondaa · 01/05/2023 12:19

'You may have noticed that the police use German Shepherds because they are so highly intelligent and trainable.'

Yes trained to bark a lot, intimidate and be aggressive Confused. As always with dogs in the right hands they can of course be trained do what is asked. Sadly with alsations they often aren't in the right hands.

Same can be said of any breed though, including mongrels.

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 01/05/2023 12:20

Automatic sprinkler might be an idea, alternatively temporarily section your drive off with chicken wire or somat (pain in the ass for you I know, but might only take a day or so for him to get the hint.)

Nanny0gg · 01/05/2023 12:21

girlfriend44 · 01/05/2023 12:09

You were unreasonable to swear.

You should have dealt with it in a calm but firm more business like way.

When you start swearing you lose straightaway. You set the tone for how you want the conversation to go.

Show quote history

He swore at the OP's mum so he lost the moral high ground first

PuppyMonkey · 01/05/2023 12:22

Put up some signs on the driveway bit:

Private Driveway

Beware of the dogs

Guard Dogs on loose

Piss off Cycling Knob End

etc

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 01/05/2023 12:23

If someone is trespassing on my property il use whatever language I want and so can op! I agree with sign at end of drive saying private property for the avoidance of doubt. He probably knows its private property but if there is a sign there he's got no excuse!

ShowUs · 01/05/2023 12:23

If he had a go at my mum I’d want to tell him to not come on my drive again (less politely of course).

But sometimes people like him love an argument and as I know the dogs barking annoys him I probably wouldn’t do anything and just continue to let them bark at him.

I would be very tempted to get driveway gates.

ShowUs · 01/05/2023 12:24

Piss off Cycling Knob End

🤣🤣

Whiteroomjoy · 01/05/2023 12:25

electriclight · 01/05/2023 09:39

YANBU. I wouldn't mind him pausing on the drive for a breather after a big hill. But ridiculous to then complain about your dogs doing their job and alerting you to his presence.

I am not sure on the law regarding camera use but I don't think you need signs to have cameras covering your own land in the uk. People with Ring doorbells don't have signs at their gates.

He's an idiot. Once he calms down from the confrontation he'll realise he doesn't have a leg to stand on. He's just embarrassed that he now knows you could see him on your drive every time he used it.

I, like a lot of ring doorbells owners, do however have a sign, supplied with the device, on the door once camera picks up their movement and alerts me🤦‍♀️
Since May 2018 the GDPR laws came into effect. You cannot capture any image on cameras without permission even on your land or inside your own home.
once people come into position to activate camera they see the sticker which is quite clear.

girlfriend44 · 01/05/2023 12:25

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Fighterofthenightman1 · 01/05/2023 12:27

I'd let the dog out of the gate next time 😄 see how fast he can cycle

ArabeIIaScott · 01/05/2023 12:27

Qantaqa · 01/05/2023 10:12

No he's actually on the drive. Not even on the edge but like halfway in the unfenced zone. There is zero way he thinks its public. He does it even if the car is there. He just perchs himself against the car for his drink stop.

Tbh I don't (or didn't) particularly mind him. Its a bit annoying but its a bugger of a hill and whilst I don't understand why he can't cycle a bit further I just eyeroll.

Mum was quite shaken up but it doesn't take much. She got out the car and he started swearing at her and telling her she was breaking the law as dogs can't be intimidating and she better not open the gate because if they touch him he'll sue and just general idiocy. Then she came in all flustered and started on me. So I stomped out and here we are. Shrug.

I hope your mum's okay. What a dick! Totally unacceptable to swear at her or be aggressive.

SmallFerret · 01/05/2023 12:29

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LaLoba · 01/05/2023 12:32

Beautiful dogs OP, I’m currently talking myself out of looking into a gorgeous GSD rescue that keeps popping up on my feed because my collie and terrier are quite enough to handle! Must resist!

Another cyclist here who thinks the man is a massive knob. Given his behaviour towards your mother you were pretty restrained. Like you, I wouldn’t have minded the situation until he got shouty about it. Then I’d be going out every single time to tell him he’s trespassing and needs to fuck off before I call the police.

Bemyclementine · 01/05/2023 12:34

OP has got driveway gates. She has a pull in area so she can pull off the road and up to the gates without having to block the road while she gets out and opens the gates.