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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you don't like my dogs barking at you get the hell off my drive

458 replies

Qantaqa · 01/05/2023 09:34

I'll start this by saying I am tired and miserable so am in no mood to be reasonable today AT ALL.

I have many dogs. Large dogs. There are dog flaps so they can run in and out as they wish onto the property. I am rural and one of the purposes of the dogs is to alert me to people around, so I aren't bothered by them barking if someone comes to the gate.

The gateway to my drive is set back about 15ft so that I can park the car without having to open the gates and drive in. Its clearly my driveway and separate from the road.

There is this one cyclist who every single time after cycling up the hill stops and pulls into the drive and has a rest. Now he could stop on the other side of the road where there is a public track, or he could cycle for like another 30ft and stop at the entrance to the forest but no he chills in the drive. Every. Single. Time.

The dogs bark at him. He shouts at them to be quite. They obviously ignore him. I used to shout them back in but the last few weeks I haven't bothered because well I'm grumpy.

Today my mum has arrived to visit and the cyclist is yet again in the drive. He's had a bit of a go at her. She's come in mithering at me so I've gone out and told him very rudely that if he doesn't like them barking at him to stop standing on the fucking drive. It got into a bit of a heated discussion before I stormed off. He's going to report me apparently as they are intimidating and its illegal to have a camera and no signs and blah blah blah.

So whilst I might BU to have gone out and created more drama instead of ignoring him AIBU to think if you don't want to be barked at get the fuck off my land?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
Ilovecrispytofu · 02/05/2023 19:14

I was not excusing this particular character. Just saying that in general it’s a negative side of walking in the countryside the number of guard dogs barking at you. Most start barking long before you are even in sight (it’s understandable, that is their instinct to protect territory) so I don’t think in most cases it’s due to any provocative behaviour of the passer by.

Original poster
Qantaqa · 02/05/2023 19:15

Ahh the Swan Incident of 2008 :(

Picture it. Tis early summer. To say it has been soggy would be an understatement. My horses at the time are in a rented field through which runs a river. The bottom part of the field is essentially 90% puddle all the time and sometimes deeply flooded. This is all good and fine. I have got the field divided with electric fencing to keep the horses away from the wet bit. Its connected to the mains.

Enter DickHorse who is not a fan of electric fencing, restricted grazing or anything that means he has to act like a sensible member of the equine species. Sadly he could jump and jump high. He would often be found the incorrect side of the electric fence at the complete opposite end of the field. Now clearly he managed to wade through the water to get there at whatever point he escaped but was completely utterly unable to walk back through unaided because .... reasons.

There is a pair of swans that lurk around. I already have a dislike of birds and I give these dudes a wide birth. However the field becoming essentially mostly water means they are closer to the top end and thus harder to avoid. Even more so when horse escapes and I have to walk and get him because well reasons.

Anyway I arrive. Dickhorse is yet again nowhere to be seen to off I trot to find him. We are walking up the field and boom out of nowhere comes one undeniably angry swan. Seriously angry. Dickhorse reckons he can take him. I am trying to control horse, avoid swan and just stay alive. It is not working. Horse abandons me and tanks off back to safety. Now its just me and my approaching death. I've got a collection of crap in my pockets, hoof pick, apples, carrots, dandy brushes. I decide the sensible option is to throw stuff the swan to try and get it to go away. It was a mistake. It just makes him madder. I run. I fall down. He's hissing and flapping and snapping at my legs like the demon spawn he is. I'm up and gone faster than Usain Bolt. He lets me go.

Well that's not THAT bad you say. Correct. However my history of bad choices is legendary and whilst waiting for the horses to eat their tea I decide that having antagonised the swan beyond belief the sensible choice to try and take a photo of him to go along with the hilarious story above so off I go through the electric fence carefully closing the gateway behind me because I am a responsible horse owner after all I stealthily approach the swan. I am not stealthy. I haven't got far. He looks at me and steps forward. I back up. He steps forward. I back up. He steps forward .. you get the idea except I back up into the FUCKING MAINS POWERED ELECTRIC FENCE and I get the shock of my life and so jerk forward into the fucking swan who clearly feels under attack and so attacks back. Wings everywhere, beak pecking. Another swan appears from some hell portal to join the fray and I jump back .. BACK INTO THE FUCKING ELECTRIC FENCE which clearly sends me jumping forwards again... into the bastard swans. I run along the fence line chased by 2 giant swans before basically leaping into the first bit of hedgerow gap where but which is filled with nettles. The swans can clearly see that I have sunk to depths which no human should and leave me alone.

I am there sitting in a patch of nettles, stung, bruised, breathless and with not a scrap of dignity, and I look up to see Dickhorse trotting past back down to the bottom end ....

It was Not. A. Good. Day.

OP posts:
Spambod · 02/05/2023 19:19

He knows the dogs will bark at him by now. He is doing it to be confrontational. He’s a twat.

Glittertwins · 02/05/2023 19:24

I really shouldn't laugh because I also think swans are evil but that was described brilliantly.
I think your dogs are fab and the cyclist is a dick

ThreeB · 02/05/2023 19:41

Oh @Qantaqa I cannot tell you how much that swan story made me laugh. After a rubbish vets appointment with our boy, this was the belly laughs that DH and I needed. Your writing style is just wonderful.

P.S. as a fellow big dog owner, your pack is just 🥰

SomeRolyPolyLittleBatFacedGirl · 02/05/2023 19:44

Ah swans. They can break your arm, you know 😐

FeltedDogs · 02/05/2023 19:44

I am fostering an 18 year old yorkie with no teeth. She's horrid and yappy. Yesterday, believe it or not, she killed a pigeon in the garden with her gummy 2 inch mouth. She'd be perfect, imagine him reporting that attack, the police would laugh 😃

Florissant · 02/05/2023 19:44

I loved your swan story, OP! Swans are beautiful to look at but can be right ornery critters.

WildFlowerBees · 02/05/2023 19:46

Why is he being such an arse it's not as if they're jumping all over him there's a gate between them. I like the sprinkler idea.

Kelsey3 · 02/05/2023 19:47

@lljkk
Don’t know what rural idyll you live in but in our truly rural area no one with any common sense would leave their car/door/shed/oil tank unlocked. Regular attempted shed thefts, car door handles tried overnight (caught on door camera’s/CCTV regularly), and agricultural thefts. Police never come anywhere near even when people have dialled 999 & told them if you come now you’ll catch them. We don’t even get a patrol car doing a drive round once a month.
We have a ‘Beware of dog’ sign on our drive gate as a hopeful deterrent and gates are always closed overnight. In reality the dog is out back behind a second gate in rear garden but can see the driveway/road and, if he’s out, barks if someone walks past (stops as soon as they have passed) or comes onto the drive. As far as I (and rural neighbours are concerned) that’s the job of dogs in rural areas and if walkers don’t like it, tough, they can eff off back to whatever town they came from, because it’s always entitled townies who moan. Don’t get me started on people who climb fences, trespass on our land and moan when they’re told to get back on the footpath or my dog, on my land, as one idiot informed me ‘is very intimidating’ - well yes you’re trespassing on his territory you idiot! For those worried about the postie, you’ll find many rural properties have a box at the end of their drive.

Cazareeto1 · 02/05/2023 19:50

Qantaqa · 01/05/2023 09:34

I'll start this by saying I am tired and miserable so am in no mood to be reasonable today AT ALL.

I have many dogs. Large dogs. There are dog flaps so they can run in and out as they wish onto the property. I am rural and one of the purposes of the dogs is to alert me to people around, so I aren't bothered by them barking if someone comes to the gate.

The gateway to my drive is set back about 15ft so that I can park the car without having to open the gates and drive in. Its clearly my driveway and separate from the road.

There is this one cyclist who every single time after cycling up the hill stops and pulls into the drive and has a rest. Now he could stop on the other side of the road where there is a public track, or he could cycle for like another 30ft and stop at the entrance to the forest but no he chills in the drive. Every. Single. Time.

The dogs bark at him. He shouts at them to be quite. They obviously ignore him. I used to shout them back in but the last few weeks I haven't bothered because well I'm grumpy.

Today my mum has arrived to visit and the cyclist is yet again in the drive. He's had a bit of a go at her. She's come in mithering at me so I've gone out and told him very rudely that if he doesn't like them barking at him to stop standing on the fucking drive. It got into a bit of a heated discussion before I stormed off. He's going to report me apparently as they are intimidating and its illegal to have a camera and no signs and blah blah blah.

So whilst I might BU to have gone out and created more drama instead of ignoring him AIBU to think if you don't want to be barked at get the fuck off my land?

Well I would presently tell him that he is in fact on your property this space he sits on is infact your property not public, so if he doesn’t want the gard dogs barking then get off my land… 😂 I would actually say that. He may well think it’s public because of your fence being further back, but really why is he bothering your dogs… you just wouldn’t sit next to the dogs barking clearly pissing them off, then tell them to shut up.. maybe need’s reminded it’s actually you property.. would imagine he won’t be back after realising it’s not public x

wildinthecountry · 02/05/2023 19:51

@Qantaqa Thanks for swan tale , very funny , got any photos of dick horse?

Billben · 02/05/2023 19:55

He just perchs himself against the car for his drink stop.

😲 Holy cow, and you haven’t bollocked him for that? 😲

Original poster
Qantaqa · 02/05/2023 20:10

@wildinthecountry Dickhorse. Hes no longer with us but lives on in a collection of ridiculous stories!

To think if you don't like my dogs barking at you get the hell off my drive
To think if you don't like my dogs barking at you get the hell off my drive
OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 02/05/2023 20:22

act like a sensible member of the equine species

I am still slack jawed contemplating your Dickhorse (who is a lovely boy in the photo) tangling himself with water and electricity while wearing metal shoes

I am sincerely hoping he's gelded as he is paddling in the very shallow end of his gene pool if you get my drift ( ie he's a thick as mince).

wildinthecountry · 02/05/2023 20:33

Oh he is gorgeous I'm so jealous and the dogs too .

isitshe · 02/05/2023 20:34

Linda409 · 02/05/2023 18:36

You are the entitled one. You don’t own the world. Little Englander

She does own her own land, including her own driveway, and her own car.

I can't imagine anyone tolerating a rude sweary stranger leaning against their car on their property, having a go at their elderly mum. Would you?

Danielle9891 · 02/05/2023 20:38

What an idiot, he must be doing it on purpose. I'd be tempted to put up a ring door bell and see what he's doing and if you or your family gets anymore abuse off him I'd up it up on Facebook. Especially as he's coming onto your land to torment your dogs.

glassespet · 02/05/2023 20:47

OP - you are a natural born comedian. Thank you for a much needed laugh on my very own shit day.

Dymaxion · 02/05/2023 20:51

You are not supposed to have CCTV pointing onto the highway as it's contravening data protection UNLESS you have a sign saying there is a camera. And you'd need a reason why the camera was there on a domestic property pointing to the road.

So are all the people who post on Facebook with images of dodgy people on their property at night, with the highway clearly visible, all breaking the law ? Or is the onus on the dodgy person to carry a torch so they can see the sign ?

Dymaxion · 02/05/2023 21:10

I feel sorry for the entitled bicycle rider, he just doesn't have the legs for it does he ? never getting past the same point on a road without having to stop for a long leisurely lean on someone elses car/intimidating women rest, must be agony for him, knowing that no other man on a bike has to do this, only him and his ridiculously puny legs and lack of oomph. He must hear those barks as mocking his lack of ambition to get a bit further, beat his PB and validate his whole being. Tragic really especially if the otter's get him !

ladyluck13 · 02/05/2023 21:38

Linda409 · 02/05/2023 18:36

You are the entitled one. You don’t own the world. Little Englander

Yeah but she does own the land this entitled prick is being an entitled prick on...so what's your problem?

And OP, your writing is hilarious and I love your army of dogs :)

Dullardmullard · 02/05/2023 21:55

Swan stories was bloody hilarious for sure

Margie70 · 02/05/2023 22:18

Oh I really needed to read that account today! Thank you for cheering me up! There’s nothing like someone else’s catastrophe to improve one’s own spirits 😀

helpplease01 · 02/05/2023 22:48

He is being a belligerent dick, set the dogs on him if he does it again.
Ok.. realistically, go to the police with a counter complaint of harassment. Then ignore him. Or go out with a super soaker?