I know it's been done to death, but I wish DH would stop WFH

[Iwrote]

Anyone else in the same boat?

DH has the office and I have the dining table, but he's up and down, chatting, getting drinks, moaning, generally distracting me until I have to ask him to please leave me in peace. He doesn't do anything useful in these frequent trips, too busy to empty the dishwasher but not busy enough to not drive me nuts.
Days I don't work I pick youngest up from nursery and then have to stop her busting in on her Dad when he's on calls etc, I feel like my home isn't my own.
I wish he'd just fuck off back to the office, as least a few days a week. I know there's a commute, but I feel like I'm a woman on the edge.

Same situation here op! I have always worked from home, 25 years + pre covid. Suddenly my working environment was thrown into chaos, 2 children and DH at hom
during covid. I put up with it as we all did, unprecedented times and all that. Children are now back at school but DH is still working from home. He has an office (within 30min drive) he can go to. I don’t, I have home and that’s it. I want my working day back to normal. At least the children are school age now and we’re both full time. It must be very difficult to have someone working in the house whilst you’re caring for young children.

Oh I don't know, I quite like lunchtime sex

I think it’s fair to say you aren’t going to stop your daughter bursting in or keep her quiet. Not when he’s WFH 5 days per week. I’d have hated that. I go to the office 3 days. I couldn’t be at home 5 days

I understand it can get frustrating, it annoys me sometimes when I am trying to focus and dh comes into my office area (it is more a multi use space with a desk in one corner) looking for something, but it annoys me because I choose to let it annoy me rather than just ignore him that same way I would zone out other people walking about an office, talking to each other, or asking if I was going to lunch etc.

He is not being unreasonable to walk about during the working day to stretch, get away from his desk for a bit. Can you have your desk somewhere else where you can close the door (bedroom?) if you are busy so he doesn't interrupt you when he comes down.

Get a stair gate to keep the toddler downstairs if you can't supervise them sufficiently to keep them downstairs. Or lock the door to is office. Or he accepts it will sometimes happen.

Sounds like you are looking at the problems and not solutions because you just want your home all to yourself which is unreasonable as it is his home too.

I suspect he probably wants you to "f* off out of the house" when he is working tbh. But we can't get what we want all the time :)
I find many people hate working from home. You never feel "off" when you aren't working.

WFH is one of the many shit things to emerge from lockdown. It can't be good for your sex life, either.

Oh it's good for ours. Lunchtime sex with no small children in the house!

But DH is nothing like the men described by most people on this thread. We both wfh in our respective rooms and don't really see each other except at lunch, and the occasional offer to make the other a coffee.

@nomoredriving You sound angry and defensive. U OK hun? 🤔 Don't seem to like it that women have different opinions and experiences to you. Bless.

I see many people on here agree with my long post from last night at 22.08. That's because what I said IS the experience of many women. Just coz it's not yours, does not mean it doesn't happen. And yes some women DO suffer from depression when they've got their clingy, whiny, wotcha-doin, husband following around after them like flies coz they don't know what to do with themselves. They have had a lifetime of him being OUT at work, and now his fat ass is trailing around after her like an attention seeking toddler.

Not all retired men have hobbies. Some just sit on their arse half the day, and trail around and follow their wife around like a shadow, mithering and pestering her. And like I said, the younger work-from-home men are a fucking pest because they dominate the airspace, the home, the atmosphere and EVERYTHING. They fill the air with tension and a low mood, and make the house THEIR domain, and the women and children are scared to fucking breathe! If this has not been your experience, then bully for fucking YOU. It IS the experience of some!

I love how angry and ranty and defensive a few posters are getting on here You are literally blowing a gasket at the views of some random online who you don't even know.

Get a grip and grow up.

Absolutely!

Yeah I'm ok hun, I love my DH and DS. Just sick of the hateful women on here blaming men for all their problems. It's almost like some women can't take control of their own lives and want to lash out at the men.

As I say though massifs positive of WFH is the lunch time sex, try it! It might make you less depressed!

A bit off topic but I really wish that everyone went back for a decent amount of time. I have a 23 year old who can’t learn a job WFH and doesn’t get the same interaction. Even 2 days a week is doing them dirty.

That was for @SecretsIWouldNeverTell

@SecretsIWouldNeverTell sone women are just obsessed with the house, the price of stewing steak.

No wonder divorce is high in retirement, who would be interested in that boring drivel all day.

And don't start me on the nagging done older do....

But does he do all the things the OP's DH do? And do you have a very small child who is constantly unsettled and upset by his jack-in the-box appearances while he's also ignoring them? And who is Too Important to do any skivvying in between?

It's great that you enjoy your DH wfh but that isn't what OP is experiencing

Yeah, those 1950s housewives would be horrified 😁

@Abracadabra12345 but what's wrong with giving an opposite view? We don't all have to agree with OP and @SecretsIWouldNeverTell !

Some of us enjoy our husbands company, we married people we liked and loved.

The ‘well I love my husband’ argument always comes up on here.

I love mine too, it’s one of the reasons I put up with what sometimes is an unbearable living situation.

I love spending time with him, holidays together, evenings, days out with the toddler. All great. I don’t love avoiding my home or spending my time at home seriously compromised while he works and ignores me and his child. I don’t believe anyone would find that enjoyable.

Did you miss the bit about like and love? Clearly less!

Clearly yes even!

I’m going to sound as if I’m being really arsey, but I am not sure what point you’re making. What about my saying I enjoy spending time with mine suggests I don’t like him, if that is indeed what you mean?

I would find it a serious turn-off to be in the same space as one another all the time. It would feel cloying and actually pretty boring.

Sounds like you are looking at the problems and not solutions because you just want your home all to yourself which is unreasonable as it is his home too

It is his home, too. It's not his office, though. Home can't be both things satisfactorily, especially with young children. You wouldn't take a toddler to work with you; why should a toddler have to behave at home as if you had taken them to work?

Quite the opposite re: sex life (sadly on that front DP doesn't WFH any more).

WFH isn't a lockdown invention. I've done it since 2008. You can insist "homes aren't offices" all you want but the fact of the matter is that they can be, and many people prefer it like that, and all lockdown did is mean many more people realised they preferred it as well. Massive boon to most people's work-life balance (and for most parents I know IRL it's been a positive to family life as well).

Babes the angry and defensive one in this thread is absolutely you. Sorry the men in your life are shit. Not my experience when DP worked from home, not the experience of the men I know. Your stereotypes and generalisations don't apply beyond your unfortunate social circle.

So agree with this

Some of us enjoy our husbands company, we married people we liked and loved

Smug nonsense. I adore my dh but I cannot bear not to have alone time.