To go for a drink with friends dad

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

He's single

Not to be an armchair psychologist here OP but your friend’s dad isn’t your dad, no matter what he did for you when you were younger. I think there is a whole mish mash if you not having a dad, you seeing him as good to you and then now you wanting to fuck him. Just back away and go do some work on yourself, therapy is a good idea.

work on your self worth, work on your identity. Find your fun elsewhere not your in friend’s dad’s pants.

Not after this response. I won't be saying a word. I didn't think it was such a big deal but clearly is

If you didn't think it was such a big deal, why did you find the need to make a post because you 'aren't sure how your friend would react'?

If it wasn't a big deal, there would be no reaction to worry about, surely?

Because I thought everyone would say its fine your both adults don't think anything of it

I don't think abuse towards the poster is the way forward despite people's opinions.
OP, do you think you could sit down with your friend and be honest with her that you have feelings for her Dad? She may not take it well, but at least you've been upfront and honest with her first.

OP, this man has watched you grow up from an 11 year old child, alongside his own daughter. While obviously you're an adult now, the vast majority of people would under no circumstances see someone with that history in a sexual light. This is largely because once a dynamic is created, he the adult, you the child, it sticks, and to shift to seeing someone sexually, well, it makes you wonder at what point exactly that happened.
Added to this is the possibility of upsetting your friend (most would be, and is any man worth that?) and the fact that he's so much older, which can bring a whole bunch of other issues.
You're a young woman and I'm sure you must have better options than pursuing this.

Because I thought everyone would say its fine your both adults don't think anything of it

But if that was the case, would your friend not think the same?
If you genuinely cared about your friend, surely instead of posting here, you'd have asked her?

I don't think OP should do this if she's only interested in something casual. If it's casual, she should steer well clear and avoid any unnecessary upset.

Completely agree the snidey insults aren't helping anything, though.

Do you have a mum?

How would you feel if your friends started a lesbian relationship with her or had sex with her for fun?

There is a line you don’t cross and this is it.

There are millions of men out there that would have sex with you.
Do not choose the one man that will fuck up your friendship.

In the gentlest way you sound like you have major issues and need to sort your life out.

Perhaps think about having a life change - look into moving to a new area and associating with different people and getting a new job.

She knows I fancy him iv joked about it in the past but this is obviously taking it to a different level and I wouldn't want to lose the friendship

Can you please tell us more?🤣🤣🤣 😮

Ewwwww no! That's seriously weird - especially if he has known you since you were 11. Another vote for daddy issues!!

Seeing some of the updates OP, it does sound like it's a bit of a toxic scenario.
I'm not sure you really know what you want out of this but it does not seem like a very healthy situation for you to get into.

I'd suggest for you to politely decline the offer for drinks!

If your friend finds out, how do you think she'll react? If she'd be ok with it, fair enough.

If she would be hurt and upset, then why would you do something that might deliberately hurt a friend?

I'm very loyal to my friends and is definitely not deliberately do something which would cause them pain.

OP - do you really think your friend will be ok with this?

I think it's really creepy of him.

I don't have anything to do with my mum, I grew up in care

might be time to contact your cpn again @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

sorry to hear you’ve started drinking again - do you face anyone to call for help with this?

it cost you a friend Last tone. don’t lose another one over this

i know you don’t see it but he’s not to be trusted

No it’s not normal to find someone you knew at 11 sexually attractive. It’s pretty worrying. The fact you’re even considering this I think means you’ve got some issues.

But you seem determined so 🤷‍♀️

Did you know your friend’s mum? Also if it does go anywhere your friend would be in a similar position to your stepdaughter which is not only 🤢 she’ll absolutely hate you forever.

Well you lost the friend of the ex you shagged. Now you will loose the friend of the dad you will probably shag.
You're going to end up a lonely old hag

jealousy maybe?
Ah, Jesus... 🙄. No. Not jealousy. Fucking hell...

😂

Goodness. You shagged your mates ex in the toilet when she was there and now you want to go and shag another mates dad in his house.

have you got any support op, any adults or anyone in real life who can support you?

There's some lines you just don't cross and this would be one for me. It's nothing to do with the age difference. He met you as a child and watched you grow up, that's gross on his part. Also how do you think your friend will react? Id be furious with both and it would definitely end a friendship for me.

How old are your children, @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy?

@MorrisZapp grandma😂🤢