Page 22 | To go for a drink with friends dad

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 2023-04-28T10:55:33+00:00

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react. Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 29/04/2023 10:10

You could honestly date this man for a year, get married and live happily ever after, with his daughters full support and we still wouldn't be 'wrong'

He's known you since you were a vulnerable 11 year old, he's acted as a person you can trust, an adult who wanted to look out for you, and now you are a vulnerable adult he's decided to pounce.

Anyway, I'm out. You are clearly mentally unwell - you will not listen to anyone about how dangerous he is, and you won't even stop for a second and think about how out of order this it to your 'friend'.

You're a match in heaven to be fair.

Kaaplumff · 29/04/2023 10:12

You keep banging on dramatically about how he's your 'protector' and that he 'cares' and we're all wrong blah blah. If any of that were true he wouldn't be using you just for sex. You want to postpone the conversation because you know the truth deep down and you don't want to face any of the consequences of your actions.

5128gap · 29/04/2023 10:12

If you ask him if he wants a relationship with you, he'll either say 'yes' or say he hopes for one but wants to take it slowly. But they're just words that any man with half a brain would know he needed to say to a woman he wanted sex with who wanted more. His response to the thought you'll tell his daughter will be far more insightful. After all, why would he want to hide a potentially serious relationship with another consenting adult?

Naunet · 29/04/2023 10:14

5128gap · 29/04/2023 10:12

If you ask him if he wants a relationship with you, he'll either say 'yes' or say he hopes for one but wants to take it slowly. But they're just words that any man with half a brain would know he needed to say to a woman he wanted sex with who wanted more. His response to the thought you'll tell his daughter will be far more insightful. After all, why would he want to hide a potentially serious relationship with another consenting adult?

I agree, and supposedly the only reason he hasn’t told his daughter, is to protect OP, so if she wants to tell her, he’ll be fully up for that…right OP?

Sakura7 · 29/04/2023 10:17

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 08:54

Just to let you all know you where wrong I had the most amazing night and he does want me to come round again

How does that mean anyone was wrong?

You have now crossed a line that everyone advised you not to, you can't undo it and your friend will be horrified when she finds out.

I don't think anyone is surprised that he wants you to come over again for an easy shag.

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:18

Naunet · 29/04/2023 10:14

I agree, and supposedly the only reason he hasn’t told his daughter, is to protect OP, so if she wants to tell her, he’ll be fully up for that…right OP?

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I don't want to make him mad though he genuinely was so nice to me last night he literally cuddled me to sleep. I feel so safe with him

OP posts:

Naunet · 29/04/2023 10:20

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:18

I don't want to make him mad though he genuinely was so nice to me last night he literally cuddled me to sleep. I feel so safe with him

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Why would he be mad?! If he was just protecting you in not telling her, what is there to be mad about?

TheDogsWardrobe · 29/04/2023 10:21

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 29/04/2023 10:10

You could honestly date this man for a year, get married and live happily ever after, with his daughters full support and we still wouldn't be 'wrong'

He's known you since you were a vulnerable 11 year old, he's acted as a person you can trust, an adult who wanted to look out for you, and now you are a vulnerable adult he's decided to pounce.

Anyway, I'm out. You are clearly mentally unwell - you will not listen to anyone about how dangerous he is, and you won't even stop for a second and think about how out of order this it to your 'friend'.

You're a match in heaven to be fair.

I think it’s best of everyone stops posting. OP has issues and craves attention due to those issues. Giving her attention for harmful behaviours is going to reinforce that acting this way is worthwhile as it gives her attention.

OP, what you need is support from women who see the situation for what it is. You have to be ready to listen and make changes if you want your life to improve. We have no reason to lie to you that this is not a good situation.

When you’re ready to listen, start a new thread asking for help and you’ll get lots of advice and support. I hope you get to that stage. Til then, I’m out too.

ReadersD1gest · 29/04/2023 10:22

TheDogsWardrobe · 29/04/2023 10:21

I think it’s best of everyone stops posting. OP has issues and craves attention due to those issues. Giving her attention for harmful behaviours is going to reinforce that acting this way is worthwhile as it gives her attention.

OP, what you need is support from women who see the situation for what it is. You have to be ready to listen and make changes if you want your life to improve. We have no reason to lie to you that this is not a good situation.

When you’re ready to listen, start a new thread asking for help and you’ll get lots of advice and support. I hope you get to that stage. Til then, I’m out too.

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Agreed.

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:28

Fine just all abandon me then and leave me all alone again.

OP posts:

Abacusporttaco · 29/04/2023 10:31

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 09:18

My daughters are fine he's not that sort of person

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Give it time.

I’m so sorry, it seems like you’ve had a shit start so you cannot identify that sort of person, can you?

We can see this for what it is, a mile off. This is going to end in yet more destruction of you, and more of a headfuck for your kids. Jesus.

Willmafrockfit · 29/04/2023 10:33

you dont need strangers
you need real life support.

Looooop · 29/04/2023 10:34

Something I learned when I was younger and naïve is that if a man likes you he will make an effort. Inviting uou straight to his house means he has one thing in mind, getting you a Chinese isn't a big deal for him if it means he'll get sex out of it.
I'm sure he did cuddle you but sadly that doesn't mean he has feelings, I had a few blokes do that to me that had no interest in a relationship with me, it's just hormones after sex sometimes.
Sometimes things can start casually and develop into something more serious, but I just wish you could realise that he only has sex on his mind with you atm. Very convenient he's 'got stuff to do' now that he's had his way.
However as others have said it doesn't seem that we'll be able to get the message through.
I'm sorry you are in a vulnerable position and I hope that things work out and improve for you.

Willmafrockfit · 29/04/2023 10:34

i dont know why you felt you should jeopardize your friendship for the sake of her father.
but you may have done.
speak to someone in person op.

Abacusporttaco · 29/04/2023 10:34

@ImaniMumsnet can you please do a welfare check on this poster? This is all really worrying.

MyStarBoy · 29/04/2023 10:35

No way should your friend's dad be hitting on you, it's creepsville territory.

5128gap · 29/04/2023 10:36

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:28

Fine just all abandon me then and leave me all alone again.

We're not abandoning you, but at that moment there's not a lot else to say is there? You'd be better off now trying to get on with your day and try not to give this too much headspace. They'll always be someone on here for you.

HeidiUpTheMountain · 29/04/2023 10:37

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:28

Fine just all abandon me then and leave me all alone again.

But we were all here yesterday offering you great advice and the insight that you lack due to your mental health issues. You chose to ignore those voices and did the most damaging, self destructive thing you could do. Why would the support do all the people who told you that you were wrong be of any value to you now?

readbooksdrinktea · 29/04/2023 10:40

HeidiUpTheMountain · 29/04/2023 10:37

But we were all here yesterday offering you great advice and the insight that you lack due to your mental health issues. You chose to ignore those voices and did the most damaging, self destructive thing you could do. Why would the support do all the people who told you that you were wrong be of any value to you now?

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Especially since you've already told everyone they're wrong again this morning.

Good luck with it all. Maybe go to AA. Drinking again won't be helping.

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 29/04/2023 10:44

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy we will not abandon you but don't expect us to play along with this. Did you use protection at least?

Mortimercat · 29/04/2023 10:45

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:28

Fine just all abandon me then and leave me all alone again.

You have had 22 pages of support. And the views have been pretty much unanimous bar a couple pf posters, who were probably male trolls. I don’t think anyone in an online community can help you as you won’t listen.

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:45

Abacusporttaco · 29/04/2023 10:34

@ImaniMumsnet can you please do a welfare check on this poster? This is all really worrying.

Pls ignore this poster im fine and don't need the police banging on my door every other day because yet another person doesn't agree with how I choose to live my life

OP posts:

KimberleyClark · 29/04/2023 10:45

Op if this man is so protective of you he has done a piss poor job of protecting you from yourself. This is so sad.

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 29/04/2023 10:45

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 29/04/2023 10:44

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy we will not abandon you but don't expect us to play along with this. Did you use protection at least?

I'm on the pill

OP posts:

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 29/04/2023 10:47

Ok that's something then. I would leave him be now. Wait till he gets in touch with you.