To go for a drink with friends dad

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

Untreated BPD = reckless decisions, chaotic relationships, selfishness, lack of care for others.

As everyone can see now, OP is not going to listen and will do what she wants.

OP for yours and your children's sake I really hope you get proper help. It is possible to live a healthier life with treatment. It will make the world of difference to your kids.

Since you were 11?
Sounds like grooming in plain sight 😒

Why did she post?

op as much as I dont think you're being too crazy, I think you should stay at home tonight. you seem in a delicate state right now and its an impulsive decision to make. look after yourself, please x

Why do we bother.

Hes going to shit a brick when he realises the OP thinks this actually means something and he will drop his daughter for her. Dont feel bad for the bastard though.

I don't understand why MNHQ have let this thread stand to be honest.

I've seen things pulled for much, much less. 😳

Exactly.

Clicks, I guess.

I'd go so far as to say he's a total cunt!

@nomoredriving yep an absolute cunt. OP, use protection whatever you do! You do not need another pregnancy/abortion right now.

Dear op, I can understand why PP’s are concerned for you.
however, my pov is that whatever the age of a potential partner, there is “grooming” involved.
what about same age partners before they got together seriously? Love affairs, romances etc would rarely happen unless at least one of them showed their attraction to the other.
what about when a person is attracted to a person if a different culture, and because they want to further that attraction, they persuade the person they like that they can get through anything as long as they are together and love prevails.
it would indeed be a shame if you did lose the friendship with the man’s daughter, but then if she doesn’t even try to see it from his or your pov, is she the friend that you need?
im aware that PP’s probably will pile in on me too, but I’m just expressing a different angle.
OP, just go softly if you do go ahead, protect yourself, and if alcohol is a bad influence for you, stick to soft beverages, after all, you’ll want to know for yourself that any upshot from tonight’s decisions won’t be alcohol fuelled, and not to be trusted.
I wish you good luck, and hope you make the right decisions for YOU….

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So even if this is all very innocent and free of inappropriate behaviour on his part NONE of this excuses your behaviour. You are a shit friend and unbelievably selfish.

Tonight you both set the wheels in motion to potentially destroy your friends relationship not just with you, but with her FATHER. Poor woman.

the father is worse, he’s taking advantage of a very vulnerable young woman to get laid. She’s dreaming of happy ever after. He’s thinking how he can make sure his daughter never ever knows. He knows how the op feels. He doesn’t care. He’s getting laid by a woman half his age. Utter scum.

Go for it OP, you deserve to be happy with your friends dad, I'm sure she'll understand and end up loving the idea, who knows you may even end up as her stepmother!

or in reality your friend will be devastated at being betrayed by two people who are supposed to love and care about her.

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and when mixed the BPD can lead to you making decisions which you really regret, I can't see a way that this will end without major hurt, especially to you.

Being alone can be awful, especially when you don't want to be, however how much more awful will it be when the shit has had the fan, you've lost your long time friend and her father in one go as I'd guess when it comes to it he won't pick you it'll all be something he wants to brush under the carpet

Absolutely, he’s revolting.

You clearly struggle with the concept of loyalties and boundaries with friends if you can't understand why some people may feel repulsed. How to ruin a lifelong friendship. What could possibly go wrong...

Mumsnet is the Wizard of Oz.

God he’s a bastard. Taking advantage of you. This is so messed up on so many levels and you’re going to be the victim once again OP. This is so so damaging to you, and he’s just another wanker out there that will use you.

Oh God, I missed that. Jerry Springer may have died but his ghost lives on...

It's predatory on his part.

You'll understand why when you're his age.

This!

I'm 26 he's 45. He's known me since I met my friend when we where in secondary school but it was nothing weird back then

Fucking creepy. Gross.

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