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Original poster

To go for a drink with friends dad

667 replies

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 11:55

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

OP posts:
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 18:14

Both my parents are dead, but I can guarantee that if one of my friends shagged one of them when they were alive, I'd go fucking apocalyptic on them.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 28/04/2023 18:15

He won't necessarily bin OP off after one night though. Why would you when you've spent years grooming someone to the point that they believe that you actually care about their wellbeing and that person trusts you implicitly that you have their best interests at heart?

Next step is hysterical bonding and making the OP feel like they are in a super secret gang of two who are the only people in the world that have ever felt like this.

Bit by bit the abuse will start, once OP has no friends because she has ostracised them all through her behaviour. Nowhere to turn, just her and her young children living with this man.

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 18:16

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:13

I want people to see it from my pov and not make out someone I really care about has been grooming me which is not the case at all. And that where both adults who can make each other happy and yes I understand my friend may get hurt in the process but I don't think its bad enough for her to hate me for ever over and just don't understand how none of you are seeing this

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Well if you don't think it's that bad then go for it and tell your friend.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:16

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 18:14

Both my parents are dead, but I can guarantee that if one of my friends shagged one of them when they were alive, I'd go fucking apocalyptic on them.

Sorry about your parents but why would you be so mad wouldn't you want your friend to be happy

OP posts:
readbooksdrinktea · 28/04/2023 18:19

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:16

Sorry about your parents but why would you be so mad wouldn't you want your friend to be happy

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You're actually just really selfish, aren't you?

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 18:21

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:16

Sorry about your parents but why would you be so mad wouldn't you want your friend to be happy

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You are entirely missing your moral compass if you don't see anything wrong with this, aren't you?

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:21

Whatever your all wrong and not understanding the situation. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready. Thanks to the few people who actually understood

OP posts:
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 18:21

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

I dont understand why you cannot seem to grasp this.

It is not ok for your friend to shag your parent. It's a boundary that should not be crossed.

The fact that he has know you since you were a vulnerable teen makes it a million times worse. If my father did that, I cannot even begin to tell you how little I'd think of him.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 18:21

You're not going to end up happy. You're going to end up used and lonely. I'm sorry OP but you really need to see that this man isn't looking for a relationship with you.

If he was, he'd be dating you. Not just chucking you enough affection to keep you hanging on his every work.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 18:22

*word

nomoredriving · 28/04/2023 18:22

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:21

Whatever your all wrong and not understanding the situation. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready. Thanks to the few people who actually understood

Make sure you've got decent contraception and that he uses a condom.

ReadersD1gest · 28/04/2023 18:22

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:21

Whatever your all wrong and not understanding the situation. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready. Thanks to the few people who actually understood

Surprise, surprise... Total car crash.

nomoredriving · 28/04/2023 18:26

@GoodChat the other poster hadn't been a vulnerable teenager, have drink issue, recently had an unwanted pregnancy, recently lost a friend due to snagging her partner or suffering MH issues... so totally and utterly different.

It's not the age gap that's the issue, it's everything else that OP has got going on.

If you can't see the differences, then you are being very blinkered,

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 18:26

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:21

Whatever your all wrong and not understanding the situation. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready. Thanks to the few people who actually understood

See you in a couple of months for your next disasterous sex dilema then!

Womencanlift · 28/04/2023 18:26

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:21

Whatever your all wrong and not understanding the situation. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready. Thanks to the few people who actually understood

Of course you and about 2 other posters are right and the 40+ posters saying the opposite are wrong

Come back and let us know what your friend finds out you have been on a date with her dad

Rudicoolcat · 28/04/2023 18:31

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 14:51

Iv msg him to say I'm worried about my friendship with his daughter and he said he's not going to say anything and that I'm worrying over nothing

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Instant Red Flag!! He's trying it on with you for kicks and to boost his ego sweetheart... If his daughter knew, do you honestly think she'd want to remain friends? I'm guessing not. You need to set your bar higher than being somebody's little secret (dirty or otherwise). You need to treat yourself better than this, you owe it to yourself.

PinkCast · 28/04/2023 18:32

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 18:26

See you in a couple of months for your next disasterous sex dilema then!

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Won't have to wait that long - We're averaging one a month from what I can see.

OP, you're doing it anyway so take care & please, please, please, use protection.

HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 28/04/2023 18:39

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:21

Whatever your all wrong and not understanding the situation. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready. Thanks to the few people who actually understood

Since you're going ahead with this, quite frankly, batshit plan, please make sure you're safe.

Tell someone where you are and when you'll check in with them, use protection, don't be scared to say no at any point, and make sure you have an appointment for next week so you have someone to talk to when reality kicks in.

I'm so sorry this man is taking advantage of you, and I'm so sorry you can't see that.

This is truly going to come crashing down around your ears.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 18:42

nomoredriving · 28/04/2023 18:26

@GoodChat the other poster hadn't been a vulnerable teenager, have drink issue, recently had an unwanted pregnancy, recently lost a friend due to snagging her partner or suffering MH issues... so totally and utterly different.

It's not the age gap that's the issue, it's everything else that OP has got going on.

If you can't see the differences, then you are being very blinkered,

I agree with everything you've said. I think the OP might have seen that thread and thought she'd be cheered on. I'm very much aware they're completely different circumstances. You'll see on this thread (although I wouldn't expect you to look back, it's massive!) I've been very strongly trying to discourage the OP. She's made her mind up, unfortunately.

nomoredriving · 28/04/2023 18:43

@GoodChat apologies, I clearly misinterpreted.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 18:45

nomoredriving · 28/04/2023 18:43

@GoodChat apologies, I clearly misinterpreted.

No need, I completely understand how it happened Smile

Littleworkaholic · 28/04/2023 18:53

It’s like watching a tragic car crash as it happens. It’s the saddest thing I’ve read for a long time. The op desperately wants this man to care for her and protect her, be in a relationship with her and is dreaming of that. He on the other hand is after a cheap shag and not intending on ever admitting it. She’s aso hoping he will put her before his daughter.

the pain she’s going to feel when she realises is going to be horrendous.

nomoredriving · 28/04/2023 18:54

Littleworkaholic · 28/04/2023 18:53

It’s like watching a tragic car crash as it happens. It’s the saddest thing I’ve read for a long time. The op desperately wants this man to care for her and protect her, be in a relationship with her and is dreaming of that. He on the other hand is after a cheap shag and not intending on ever admitting it. She’s aso hoping he will put her before his daughter.

the pain she’s going to feel when she realises is going to be horrendous.

This is all true, it's very sad .....

Littleworkaholic · 28/04/2023 18:56

Rudicoolcat · 28/04/2023 18:31

Instant Red Flag!! He's trying it on with you for kicks and to boost his ego sweetheart... If his daughter knew, do you honestly think she'd want to remain friends? I'm guessing not. You need to set your bar higher than being somebody's little secret (dirty or otherwise). You need to treat yourself better than this, you owe it to yourself.

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She doesn’t care if her friend doesn’t wish to know her any more as long as he wants to be with her, she wants to be,first with him now,and she’s hoping this will lead to it. It’s just tragic.

Dilemma19 · 28/04/2023 18:58

Sorry op, the thing I'm most disgusted is that you would consider doing this to your friend. You are no friend if you can do this. No one really believes that 'you're both single' BS, least of all your friend. Do the decent, self respectful thing and ignore this man. He's going to use you, and you will be the loser and also lose a very good friendship. Wise up.