Page 17 | To go for a drink with friends dad

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 2023-04-28T10:55:33+00:00

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react. Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

Greatdomestic · 28/04/2023 17:37

And he's been grooming you, hugging and holding you.

God this is just awful.

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 17:38

The worst thing about this post is that this guy has succeeded. He's groomed you into thinking he cares about you and now you are going to shag him, lose your friend and he will bin you off as soon as he is done with you. He's been 100% successful, which is disappointing in a karmic way.

Whammyyammy · 28/04/2023 17:39

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 11:58

Why yuck where both adults

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I agree with Yuck.
What will your friend think/say?
You clearly think it's not right, or would not of asked on here

readbooksdrinktea · 28/04/2023 17:40

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 17:38

The worst thing about this post is that this guy has succeeded. He's groomed you into thinking he cares about you and now you are going to shag him, lose your friend and he will bin you off as soon as he is done with you. He's been 100% successful, which is disappointing in a karmic way.

Yes, it's awful.

lailamaria · 28/04/2023 17:43

'it's up to her to decide to see us' god op are you insane there is no 'us' in this situation he just wants to have sex with you and then bin you off whilst you end up losing another friend because you can't keep it in your pants and continue to make bad decisions, your bpd is no exuse for the pattern you keep continuing

Isthatarealname · 28/04/2023 17:44

This is so incredibly frustrating. Its not about age difference at all, I'm married to a man who is 10 years older, I don't think its a particularly big gap, but he hasn't known me since I was a child. A vulnerable child. Its completely predatory.

I am not against sex and companionship with an older man at all but you seem to have images that you and this predator will wonder off into the sunset. Maybe he will start being there for your daughter, protecting her and all that until she is an adult.

ChristineCricket · 28/04/2023 17:44

I don’t understand why you posted here asking the question but will only accept the answers you agree with. Most people just get on with their lives without asking the opinion of strangers. I suspect you have nagging doubts to have posted here.

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 17:46

Isthatarealname · 28/04/2023 17:44

This is so incredibly frustrating. Its not about age difference at all, I'm married to a man who is 10 years older, I don't think its a particularly big gap, but he hasn't known me since I was a child. A vulnerable child. Its completely predatory.

I am not against sex and companionship with an older man at all but you seem to have images that you and this predator will wonder off into the sunset. Maybe he will start being there for your daughter, protecting her and all that until she is an adult.

Urgh, this made me shudder:

Maybe he will start being there for your daughter, protecting her and all that until she is an adult.

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:48

lailamaria · 28/04/2023 17:43

'it's up to her to decide to see us' god op are you insane there is no 'us' in this situation he just wants to have sex with you and then bin you off whilst you end up losing another friend because you can't keep it in your pants and continue to make bad decisions, your bpd is no exuse for the pattern you keep continuing

I'm not using bpd as an excuse. This decision is based on how I feel about him. Being around him makes me feel happy and safe and I don't understand why I shouldn't be allowed that when everyone else has families and partners who look after them

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SparklyBlackKitten · 28/04/2023 17:48

Please sleep with him and update us afterwards on your friendship status with your friend :)

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:49

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 17:46

Urgh, this made me shudder:

Maybe he will start being there for your daughter, protecting her and all that until she is an adult.

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Don't say that he's not like that at all

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Endlesssummer2022 · 28/04/2023 17:50

Have only read the OP. Sounds like he’s groomed you. Gross.

JorisBonson · 28/04/2023 17:50

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:49

Don't say that he's not like that at all

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He really is. Please pay attention to what is glaringly obvious to everyone else.

Whammyyammy · 28/04/2023 17:51

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:49

Don't say that he's not like that at all

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Did he know you when you were a child.....

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 17:51

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:49

Don't say that he's not like that at all

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Except that's exactly what he did to you. So I would say that is exactly what he is like.

He makes you feel happy and safe because he wants to sleep with you. If it was so reasonable why don't you tell your mate?

Anyway, do what you want - everyone is telling you not to and what will happen - but ultimately the choice is your. But be under no illusion that this is an ok thing to do.

I feel sorry for your "friend"

HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 28/04/2023 17:51

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:48

I'm not using bpd as an excuse. This decision is based on how I feel about him. Being around him makes me feel happy and safe and I don't understand why I shouldn't be allowed that when everyone else has families and partners who look after them

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He has known you since you were a child.

He knows your insecurities and your weaknesses.

He is playing on them, and doing a great job of it, because you've fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

He has manipulated your feelings to get a shag.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 17:53

I'm not romantically involved with him. I would like to be if he wants to be and hopefully tonight will lead to something more

Sex doesn't lead to a relationship. Relationships lead to sex. OP you're not going to get what you want here.

Naunet · 28/04/2023 18:00

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 17:49

Don't say that he's not like that at all

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he exactly is like this, he’s already shown you who he is, you just refuse to see it.

FairyPrincess123 · 28/04/2023 18:01

How did you expect us to react?

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 18:01

this is a man who has always been there for me, looked after me, protected me.

How long has he been there for you? How has he looked after you and protected you? When did him looking after you start?

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 18:07

FairyPrincess123 · 28/04/2023 18:01

How did you expect us to react?

Probably the same way as the people who were cheering on an OP the other day for sleeping with her best friends new FIL on the wedding night, to be fair..

RoysSisterShireeSauce · 28/04/2023 18:08

What do you from the this thread? Not taking into account the comments, 93% have voted YABU. That isn’t a small %!! If you’re not going to listen why bother with the constant replies?

No amount of explanations from you is going to make it ok. Not because of the age gap and also to some degree not because it’s your friends dad. It’s because the dad first met you when you were 11, you have had a tough time of it, you have mental health issues, you have a history of making bad decisions. You are vulnerable. Not in a million years are you going to convince us this is ok.

RoysSisterShireeSauce · 28/04/2023 18:09

Typo- what do you WANT from this thread

AliceOlive · 28/04/2023 18:11

You went from getting a few texts over the years to talking about how he’s held you.

What do you think he’s after with this?

Original poster

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 18:13

RoysSisterShireeSauce · 28/04/2023 18:09

Typo- what do you WANT from this thread

I want people to see it from my pov and not make out someone I really care about has been grooming me which is not the case at all. And that where both adults who can make each other happy and yes I understand my friend may get hurt in the process but I don't think its bad enough for her to hate me for ever over and just don't understand how none of you are seeing this

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