To go for a drink with friends dad

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

Where not friends anymore

How do you think your friend will react to you sleeping with her dad?

I don't know cus u lot all reacted different to how I expected

Hi Op

I can't really add anything further than other posters already have. This post has made me feel really sad for you.

I am absolutely disgusted at this man's behaviour towards you. Disgsred. He is preying on a vulnerable young woman whom he has known since she was a child, for sex. He's not offering to take you out, he's offering a booty call.

Please don't do this, no good will come of it. Secrets like this always come out. And when it does, both him and your friend will cut you out. Be clear about that.

You can't see this and have an idealised view of the outcomes. Deep down you know that your friend will be livid.

Don't do this. Message him and cancel. Dont be persuaded otherwise. The carnage this will bring to your life will not be worth it.

So you've already lost a friend due to questionable sexual behaviour which you regretted. Now you plan to lose another. You don't see any sort of self desctructive pattern to all this OP?

That was a completely different situation that was literally a drunken mistake. I didn't have any feelings towards him or anything

So you've not shagged him yet but you're already romantically involved with him?

What's the point of this thread then?

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy oh love I wishing could give you a bloody hug. Just promise, expect nothing from him, stay on guard and be prepared for it to get messy. I wish you and your children well 💐

But the outcome will be the same. Basically everyone is telling you this isn't ok and won't end well and you plan to go ahead behind your friend's back. You've already shown a complete lack of judgement and now you are doing it again but fail completely to learn from your mistakes or take on the feedback everyone is giving you. It's a bad move OP.

I'm not romantically involved with him. I would like to be if he wants to be and hopefully tonight will lead to something more

But people on here don't know him and how much he cares about me

So you are going ahead?

Like PP said, he's not even offering to take you out, this is 100% booty call.

This will end badly and you will regret it. I doubt you will be back to update us though.

But he's been holding you and making you feel good?

Agreed. Its heartbreaking.

You don't understand. He does want to spend time with me

This isn't the start of some budding romance, OP.

This is an older man taking advantage of a vulnerable young woman with no regard for her feelings because he fancies a shag.

I guarantee you'll feel absolutely shit tomorrow.

I hope to god this is a wind up.

This man is a predator..

Do not get involved with him!

Back away if you want to keep your friend (or any of the rest of your friendship group). Sleeping with your friend's dad is the nuclear option to platonic relationships. It isn't a nice thing to do. You seem quite vulnerable an naive, but wait a moment and think about what you're going to do. If you aksed your friend if she'd be ok with you shagging and dating her dad, would she say yes? If you think she would - actually ask her to confirm. If not, stop messaging this guy and talk to a therapist about put low self esteem and self destructive behaviour.

Yeah he hugs me and holds me all the time but it's been nothing more then that

this is insane you're going to lose your friend because of this and your personal childhood issues that you clearly haven't gotten over nevermind your bpd causing you to make bad decisions, you think he'll choose you over his daughter get real you're only going to end up regretting this later on but you're going to do it anyway because all you're focused on it your own personal goal not how this is going to affect the people around you

At his house. With alcohol. He wants sex.

Don't confuse 1"wanting to spend time with you"

with

2 wanting to shag you.

They aren't the same at all. He wants option 2.

Disgusting man.

and has he been hugging and holding you since you were in secondary school, this man is disgusting

I don't expect him to choose between me and his daughter but obviously it leads to a relationship. My friends an adult its up to her whether she wants anything to do with us or not

Do you care about your friend though? Because if you did, you would not be contemplating doing this - certainly not without talking to her first. You're being a pretty terrible friend right now.