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Original poster

To go for a drink with friends dad

667 replies

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 11:55

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

OP posts:
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 15:56

I do if he does but I like him so I'm happy either way just to spend time with him. He's good looking, he's caring, protective and looks after me. why would anyone not want that

Well, I for one wouldn't want him because he's a predatory, gross groomer.

Hope that helps.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 15:57

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 15:56

I do if he does but I like him so I'm happy either way just to spend time with him. He's good looking, he's caring, protective and looks after me. why would anyone not want that

Well, I for one wouldn't want him because he's a predatory, gross groomer.

Hope that helps.

He's not like that at all. He's never made me do anything and iv encouraged it as much as he has

OP posts:
VoiceOfCommonSense · 28/04/2023 15:58

Yeah that’s fair enough. I hope you have a lovely time and don’t worry what other people say, just enjoy yourself. If you 2 are happy together then that’s great, it certainly beats being alone

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 15:59

TheDogsWardrobe · 28/04/2023 15:10

He wants sex. He isn’t thinking of you or his daughter, only himself.

You can do whatever you like but you’re being taken advantage of and used. He knows you’re vulnerable. He isn’t a good bloke. We can’t make you listen but why do you think we are saying this? There’s no advantage to us to stop you doing this, except to stop a woman being used. I hope you listen.

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maybe op just wants the sex. where have you got the idea that op is expecting marriage and kids!

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 16:00

He's never made me do anything and iv encouraged it as much as he has

Because you think sex means that someone likes and cares for you, OP.

I'm sorry but that's what this is. You hope that if you sleep with him he'll want to be with you and it's not going to end up like that.

If he wanted to be with you he'd take you out for dinner or go for a walk or bowling. He wouldn't invite you round for drinks when he knows that's where your vulnerability lies.

I know it's hard to see that he might not be a nice man as he's been so good to you over the years, but nothing good will come of this for you.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 16:00

VoiceOfCommonSense · 28/04/2023 15:58

Yeah that’s fair enough. I hope you have a lovely time and don’t worry what other people say, just enjoy yourself. If you 2 are happy together then that’s great, it certainly beats being alone

Thankyou so much. This is spot on

OP posts:
GoodChat · 28/04/2023 16:00

@mexicanandafewdrinks she's said she'd like to pursue something with him if that's what he wants too.

Coulditreallybe · 28/04/2023 16:00

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy Gently, has anyone ever supported you to do what you’d know as an iq test?

Hesma · 28/04/2023 16:00

Ewwwwww🤢

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 16:01

VoiceOfCommonSense · 28/04/2023 15:58

Yeah that’s fair enough. I hope you have a lovely time and don’t worry what other people say, just enjoy yourself. If you 2 are happy together then that’s great, it certainly beats being alone

Sort your username out, if that's the advice you're giving.

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:01

I really hope non of the clear jealousy here puts you down, and deters you from going to what sounds like a good night.
age gap means nothing. he's a good man who's looked out for you for a long time, there is NOTHING wrong with what you're doing.
it seems the thread is just a case of the green-eyed monster.

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:01

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 16:01

Sort your username out, if that's the advice you're giving.

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you should too

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 16:03

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:01

I really hope non of the clear jealousy here puts you down, and deters you from going to what sounds like a good night.
age gap means nothing. he's a good man who's looked out for you for a long time, there is NOTHING wrong with what you're doing.
it seems the thread is just a case of the green-eyed monster.

Thanks he really is he's always been there for me and always protected me

OP posts:
Tandora · 28/04/2023 16:03

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 15:54

I do if he does but I like him so I'm happy either way just to spend time with him. He's good looking, he's caring, protective and looks after me. why would anyone not want that

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If you are wanting a relationship and he doesn’t, you are going to end up very hurt by spending the night with him. It’s going to be crushing for your self esteem when he makes it clear it was just a bit of fun / sex for him. If he was serious about dating you, he’d be thinking of nice things to do to spend time together, not inviting you over to spend the night . He’d also be planing how to be upfront with his daughter about his intentions and his feelings for you, not telling you he’s planning to hide it from her.

5128gap · 28/04/2023 16:04

Naunet · 28/04/2023 15:44

Yeah, but not one that’s watched us grow up from the age of 11, so must be jealousy…🤮

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Indeed. I think some people lack an understanding of the difference between the handsome, wealthy, silver fox of myth, and sleazy Gary from the pub sniffing after a secret shag with a woman he's known since childhood.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 16:04

Coulditreallybe · 28/04/2023 16:00

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy Gently, has anyone ever supported you to do what you’d know as an iq test?

Why would I need an iq test 🤔

OP posts:
Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 16:04

OP the fact you are shocked about the reactions and didn't anticipate them at all suggests you are not really in a good place to make these decisions. Of course your friend is going to be pissed off. The fact the dad is hapoy to hide it isn't a good thing, it isn't for your sake, its to have what he wants and make you his dirty little secret. Stay clear if you want to keep your friend, these things have a wya of coming out. Also you sound desperate and in a bad place, that is not the time to get yourself involved in this sort of thing.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 16:05

There are some really dangerous people on this site OP, and you're going to listen to them because they're telling you what you want to hear, so please just be really safe if you're going to go.

Don't drink too much and make sure you're fully aware and consenting to anything that happens. Make sure you use protection and let someone know where you are.

I know you trust him but just be careful.

5128gap · 28/04/2023 16:05

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:01

I really hope non of the clear jealousy here puts you down, and deters you from going to what sounds like a good night.
age gap means nothing. he's a good man who's looked out for you for a long time, there is NOTHING wrong with what you're doing.
it seems the thread is just a case of the green-eyed monster.

Are you sleazy Gary the best mates dad?

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:06

5128gap · 28/04/2023 16:05

Are you sleazy Gary the best mates dad?

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no I'm just non-judgemental towards someone's preferences, unlike the general tone here.

REP22 · 28/04/2023 16:07

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 15:43

Ty I was going to tell her but everyone on here has over reacted and now I'm scared to tell her as I don't want her to be hurt. Obviously il tell in the future if we get into a relationship but will depend if tonight goes well and if he wants to spend more time together

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I am sorry. I am just so, so sorry. Not for the reactions of most on here, sadly. Some have been hasty, some have been misguided. Most have been concerned and written with the best of care and kindness meant. None (that I can see) are from a position of "jealousy".

I wish you better times ahead. Keep safe. If not for yourself, for your children who may want a loving relationship with you later on in their own lives.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 16:09

REP22 · 28/04/2023 16:07

I am sorry. I am just so, so sorry. Not for the reactions of most on here, sadly. Some have been hasty, some have been misguided. Most have been concerned and written with the best of care and kindness meant. None (that I can see) are from a position of "jealousy".

I wish you better times ahead. Keep safe. If not for yourself, for your children who may want a loving relationship with you later on in their own lives.

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Thankyou you are the sweetest person ever 💗

OP posts:
HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 28/04/2023 16:10

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:06

no I'm just non-judgemental towards someone's preferences, unlike the general tone here.

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Someone vulnerable who is being kept as a sleazy secret, and will absolutely ruin her main support system just so some older bloke who has placed himself as a protector in her life can get his end away when she clearly just wants love.

Sometimes it's OK to judge. A much older parental figure taking advantage of someone vulnerable is worthy of judgement.

Dulra · 28/04/2023 16:15

Thanks he really is he's always been there for me and always protected me
This concerns me, you are seeing him as a protective father figure and I've no doubt that's why you're attracted to him, he is using his position in your life to groom you he knows your vulnerabilities. He should know better and the fact that he doesn't would be a concern for me. Also if you go ahead and it doesn't work out would you be happy enough not to have him in your life (or your friend) because that is likely to happen.

5128gap · 28/04/2023 16:16

mexicanandafewdrinks · 28/04/2023 16:06

no I'm just non-judgemental towards someone's preferences, unlike the general tone here.

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No you're not. You're entirely judgemental about people who don't think this is a good idea, judging them to be jealous of a vulnerable young woman about to be exploited by a creep, and quite possibly lose her friend into the bargain.
You haven't made a single acknowledgement of the red flags here, so either you're equally as vulnerable and confused as the OP, or you're here to push an agenda that serves the interests of a certain demographic of men at the expense of this young woman.