Hmmm, I'm probably able to answer your question well.
Prior to kids I was on 6 figure salary, husband about half of that.
Child 1 came along - clingy, scared of everything, very curious and bright. Diagnosed at 4 with ASD/ADHD/dyspraxia etc.
He was meant to go to prep school, who swiftly decided that actually they don't want him bc he is autistic. They returned deposit paid 3 years ago, all without seeing him.
He attended mainstream for a term, where he was barely in for 3 hours. Then he stoped going altogether. He disclosed recently he was abused there. I then went through 4 SEN tribunals over 2 years, winning all of them, yet LA failed to provide any education.
Eventually he had tutor for 10 hrs a week but after a while they took it away because it was expensive. 3 social service referrals completely malicious. It became clear they will bully us to home ed, whether we like it or not.
Age 9, child is indeed illiterate, but not fkr lack of trying. He won't do any activities or leave my side. It's 24/7 job, where husband and I escaped out together three times in 10 years, after the bedtime. And no, he won't stay with anyone, even with close family.
Child 2 started private school just as lockdown hit. He developed what we think was Long Covid, because for 2 years he was so tired he lasted 3 hours before needing a nap. School accomodated half day timetable for a term before making it clear he needs to be in full time. So, paid two teems of fees to exit school. He has luckily recovered back last summer and now does about 10 clubs a week, inc swimming, acting, french, scouts etc. He is ahead of math and also illiterate, because our behavioral optometrist thinks he is heavily dyslexic.
We didn't bother with school for child 3. He is very advanced academically (self taught, barely 5).
Struggles with understanding instructions, we think autistic/ADHD.
I can only tell you that home ed is a very very hard choice. Would I want to be sitting in my cosy office I had to give up? Absolutely.
Would I want to be able to afford house that I could have bought on my 6 figure salary? Totally.
Would I send them to prep school? Yes, it's totally worth it, if you have a 'normal' child. It doesn't compare with state at all. Would I send them to state? No, it's shitty, let's be honest. No one can effectively teach in classes of 30. Funding is rubbish.
also being a foreigner I find the attendance nonsense and school starting age quite ridiculous.
Am I privileged? I grew up with nothing on former Eastern Europe. Despite shitty education I did very well in my 20s/30s because of hard graft.
I just have to do what's best for our kids.