AIBU that home schooling is as much for the privileged as private school?

[HomeskoolorPrivate]

I see a lot of private school bashing on here, which I guess is fair enough, as it's something that benefits a tiny minority and seems to be something a lot of wanky politicians do. Not so much home schooling, though, which to me is also a thing that only 'rich' people can access. Private school is seen as for toffs, right wing, bad, whereas home schooling is seen as radical, left wing, and generally not judged as much? AIBU that both options are reserved for the highly privileged who can afford to do such things / make huge sacrifices for a radical alternative option to state schooling?

I think if people would just not judge others full stop the world would be a nicer place.

Homeschoolers are not rich. They home school because they think it's better for their child. Many are teachers by profession, many are not.

It frustrates me how everything is a race to the bottom.

YABU. Home education, ime, is judged more than independent school. It maybe for the privileged but it's still school.

What I mean, is that it's still considered normal

I don’t think home Ed is ‘soul crushingly hard’ - I find it easier than school. It isn’t easy either. There are pros and cons to both, no option is perfect. In my experience.

I definitely don’t agree that ‘nobody would home educate by choice’ though.

Not every child fits the school mould. Quieter kids are often ignored in favour of the louder or more challenging children Without TAs teachers cannot give 30 kids equal or even adequate attention. Often homeschooling is a last resort ad a result of a child being failed. There are parents who decide on it from the get go and from that point of view perhaps they are privileged. In that they can live off one salary.

Homeschooling set ups really do vary some people go for a similar length of day to school whereas others may be more child led etc. It just varies. I wouldn't bash someone for homeschooling rather I think they know their kid better than I do.

I'd consider it.

I know a few people who have good EOTAS packages, however it has meant a fight of a few years via tribunals. I don’t think any LA have ever given them willingly.

Couldn’t agree more. It’s so easy to slap a ‘privileged’ label on others without actually knowing anything about them at all.
So many assumptions.
And yes it sometimes feels, especially on here, that it’s a race to the bottom.

Home education is perhaps a first choice for some, but definitely a desperate final destination for most. And yes, it can definitely be crushingly hard, depending on why one's DC is not able to access mainstream schooling.
I've a DC who is teetering on the brink of not being able to access mainstream education as they get older and acadrmic expectations increase.
It's like watching a slow motion car crash unfold, with a mixture of SEN, sup-par SEN support due to lack of funding and the impact of an unforeseen life event taking a huge toll on MH.
Working in education, I am in a good place to advocate for DC, and I have a positive relationship with agencies involved, but it is hard. I spend hours every week in correspondence with school, LA and external agencies and providers, filling in forms, engaging with plans, contributing to reviews, weekly updates, meetings, providing parent voice statements on repeat, just to keep DC in school, because despite how hard it is for them, they love many aspects of going to school and desperately want to remain in the system. SEN diagnosis makes accessing classroom based learning at ARE nigh on impossible though.
I would not wish this on anyone.
If DC crashes out of mainstream education, it'll be down to me to give up work to home educate, despite me earning more, as DP doesn't have the skills set. It's something I am very scared of at the moment and am basing some serious work-related contingency planning around.

My friend home schools her two children. She didn't enjoy school herself as a child and so made the decision from the day they were born that she would home educate them.
I can't see what value she is adding to their lives at all. Being kept at home because mum didn't get on with the world and struggled to make friendships and forge a career.

The quality of home schooling varies so much and can be as expensive or inexpensive as you like. I know one family where the mother gave up her medical career (GP) to ensure her DC's (SEN) needs were met at home. I'm guessing that cost well over £100k per year.
On the other hand I've met families that the state have given up on (parents in and out of prison, DC excluded from school after school) who are also trying to home school. I imagine the latter don't have high quality learning experiences.
I also know of families that have banded together to home ed on a shared basis so that one family teaches the first half of the week and the second family does the latter half. It allows them to earn a part time salary.

This happened to us. It was horrendous

As a full-time working single parent, the choice to homeschool my DC is not open to me, as I wouldn't be able to pay my bills if I stopped working.

Absolutely it's a privilege to be able to make the homeschooling choice for your DC, but not one I would judge.

You say that, but if your child couldn't go to school you wouldn't have a choice.

I say that with having one DC who has an autism diagnosis, and attends a specialist school due to it.

I don't think either of my DC would appreciate us having nowhere to live as I'd start to edge towards bankruptcy after a year of no job, given that's the level of savings I have, and the bank currently owns the majority of my house (no benefits are paid by the government towards mortgages, I believe).

I don't have the privilege of choosing to homeschool, I couldn't, no matter the circumstances.

It's not a privilege if it's borne of desperation. If your child is suicidal and unable to leave the house, the choice to work full time - or indeed work at all for some - suddenly gets taken away. A parent who needed to work to pay the bills can overnight become one who's unable to work, even though the bills needed paying. That's not privilege.

If homeschooling were a lifestyle choice for all who made it, rather than the only option left for desperate families of unwell children, I'd agree with you.

If your child couldn't attend school, you aren't allowed to just leave them alone when you go to work - so unfortunately it isn't always a choice.

You are lucky to have the privilege of a suitable school place for your child.

I home Ed my son who has autism (pda), severe ADHD and dyslexia. He was totally failed by the school system.

I can’t ‘afford to give up pension contributions’- I’m just forced to because of the situation. I didn’t sit down and think ‘oh it’s ok, my wife earns enough money, I have a private pension etc’, - I gave up any future financial stability so my 7 year old wouldn’t work out any more ways to kill himself.

Ena
Starseeker, if one's DC is able to attend school, either in mainstream or in a specialist setting with an EHCP, that's great, and what many who have ended up home-schooling reluctantly giving up work and financial security would wish for their own DC more than anything. They can't afford to either, but it ceases to be a 'choice' and the cards fall where they may.

I would never have given home schooling a thought in terms of an alternative to state school (couldn’t afford private and don’t really believe in it in principle), however, it is something I’ve wondered about since my DS8 started school. He is autistic and just finishing his 3rd year in mainstream (we deferred entry) and it has been difficult. He finds the whole environment overwhelming, doesn’t sit in a group, has a desk on his own, is taken out regularly by an ASN assistant and has a quiet room if he needs it (I think he spends a lot of time in there). There have been a lot of incidents where we’ve been called and sometimes had to go to the school to speak to him or bring him home. The local authority have refused twice now to give him a specialist place, even though the school he’s currently and an educational psychologist supported it. I don’t think I could give up work completely but to home school we would probably both need to reduce our hours and potentially would need to downsize, and most definitely have to reduce our spending. It doesn’t need to be done in normal school hours and I could potentially get family to support it, as they already help with after school childcare, but I think it would be hard and it’s not something I’d particularly want to do. However, due to his circumstances it’s still not something I would rule out and we are definitely not a family who would or could go private.

@EnaSharplesStout

So sorry to read this about your son and I hope he is in a much better place now. I don’t think people understand the challenges some children have in attending mainstream school - I didn’t until my son started.

I have 2 out of school because the system failed them, I hardly feel privileged that my neurodivergent children aren't able to access same opportunities!

Depends what you mean by home school? There are different levels
Some privileged, some not so, some make sacrifices, some work really hard to make it work.

The workshy family that mistakes not sending their kids to school as homeschooling

The career couple that 1 gives up their job

The career couple that both WFH and do shifts teaching and working.

The high flyers that hire a private tutor.

But often it’s not a choice, it’s a necessity. Parents either have to give up jobs, change work or change working hours. It ceases to be a choice when there is no other way. I’ve seen many parents give up their careers in order to home educate and they will take on evening work or work from home doing any job they can. They sure as hell wouldn’t see themselves privileged.
I would move heaven and earth for my kids just like any parent would. Sometimes you get stuck in such a desperate situation that you do whatever you can.

There is nothing privileged about being on the bones of your arse waiting for the next benefit payment to hit the bank so you can afford to buy food. There is no choice involved.

Rather than EHE have you looked at EOTAS? You might have to appeal, many do, but that way the LA remain responsible and parents cannot be compelled to facilitate or deliver the provision.