AIBU that home schooling is as much for the privileged as private school?

[HomeskoolorPrivate]

I see a lot of private school bashing on here, which I guess is fair enough, as it's something that benefits a tiny minority and seems to be something a lot of wanky politicians do. Not so much home schooling, though, which to me is also a thing that only 'rich' people can access. Private school is seen as for toffs, right wing, bad, whereas home schooling is seen as radical, left wing, and generally not judged as much? AIBU that both options are reserved for the highly privileged who can afford to do such things / make huge sacrifices for a radical alternative option to state schooling?

It’s another reason why I don’t think I can do it again with my youngest. No matter if SS just call you for a chat and say they won’t be taking it further, it still causes huge amounts of stress and worry.

I know two homeschoolers. One has a daughter who is suffering extreme anxiety and social issues. The other has a daughter with SEN issues. It wouldn't be their choice otherwise

I’ve home educated for years and know loads of other home educators and know no-one who has ever had any contact with SS.
The LA contact you each year though for a summary of what you’re doing.

I contacted the LA myself with ds. A really nice man came round once a year to the house (I know you don’t have to do that but I did), looked at ds work - he had no choice, ds would thrust projects at him, have a cup of tea and would then bugger off again for 12 months.

I was the only one in all the home educators to engage with the LA, but I pick my battles and for the sake of half an hour and a cup of tea every 12 months, that was one battle I couldn’t be arsed with.

Plus, like I said, I was covering all bases as I knew we would be reported to SS by family.

Homeschooling, after school tuition, music lessons, elite sports coaching, high level musical theatre etc

Pretty much all of these require serious man hours, dedication and cash from parents than can run into thousands per year.

Definitely not normally the kids with 2 siblings and whose mum is working nightshift and Dad is working 2 jobs to pay the rent.

Only one of the home educators that I knew at the time, I meant.

There are a huge variety of homeschoolers for a whole spectrum of reasons. I was largely home educated myself due to sickness as a child but went on to gain an BSc, MSc and PhD. Homeschooled kids are far from illiterate!

I homeschooled my own DCs, one due to SEN and the other because they were gifted and not being stretched at school. Both did better being HS than they ever would have done at the local school.

I have also been an HS teacher myself and taught a lot of different children. Some have never been to school, others found it didn't work for them, and then there is the private school crowd who use state primary, then homeschool from 11 to cram for private scholarship places at 13. These HS children often do much better than their contemporaries from either state or private preps because the one-to-one time puts them ahead academically. The money saved on private fees pays for tutors and they gain in the long-run from scholarship places.

I don't think that the majority of children who are homeschooled are privileged. I think there are many different reasons. I've met lots of children through work who are homeschooled and it's mostly due to schools not meeting their needs. These families are usually on their knees.

The rich ones who homeschool probably pay for private tuition and access to expensive activities. Then there are children whose parents make a lifestyle choice because they want an alternative to the education system, but usually aren't rich, just make sacrifices due to their way of life.

We home educate. It means we have one salary, which on its own is a good one, but obviously has to go further than if I had a job too.

Most of the people I know who home ed do it on much, much lower household incomes than we have.

So in my experience YABU.

The fee paying schools near me are 14k plus per annum per child. We couldn’t afford this.

Home Ed for one child costs us £200 in activities/classes/memberships a month term time, so about 2k per annum. We forgo lots of things to cover the cost of home educating but at the same time understand we are privileged to be able to do this. We are also lucky to have grandparents and home educators and opportunities close by. We felt we had no choice as school wasn’t meeting his needs and my son was deeply unhappy.

I found the LA home Ed point of contact to be supportive and experienced.

Yes we found the same although admitting to the other home educators I knew at the time that I allowed a home visit and have work samples meant we became outcasts in the groups and ended up no longer attending such was the bad atmosphere. Apparently those who let the LA in or have work samples then make it harder for the other home educators who know their rights and the limits the LA have ..

Yes, the guy who used to come to see us was good.

In fact, when we were moving across the country and ds was going to try school he was super helpful with that too and gave me loads of really good advice.

You have every right to make your choice of schooling for your children but your attitude to those who make other choices is staggeringly judgmental. You do not know and should not assume you do, what motivates people. How much have you investigated home schooling? Or do you simply believe that anyone who doesn’t think like you is wrong? Oh dear.

Do your children only interact with others at school? Of course not! Just because a child doesn’t attend school it doesn’t mean they will suddenly become a recluse, devoid of all socialisation opportunities 🙄

I had the same experience. I soon learned to keep my mouth shut about it after I was told I was making it harder for everyone else.

The LA weren’t the boogeymen that the other home educators I met feared. Cup of tea, a chat, literally ticking some boxes on a sheet of paper, and then that was it.

The man who used to visit us was always very enthusiastic about the work ds showed him and asked him questions about it. It was fine.

We home educate, have never been wealthy, both work full time and, whilst it does need dedication and a lot of time, it doesn’t necessarily cost as much as you seem to think it does.

Lots of families survive on one salary. One half because the working parent earns so much they don't need to work, and one side because the non working parent can't out-earn childcare costs.

Al the people I know who home school absolutely couldn't afford private, make sacrifices to have one parent at home and are doing so out of desperation.

Is this aimed at me? I think what motivates people is that they want to do the best for their children, and that they make the best choices based on the resources they have available.

I think home schooled kids do better in general, from what I've seen, and I've also heard lovely things about a local private school from the teachers there who have kids the same age as mine. I'd love to choose either home school or private school for my DS who is struggling with peers / bullying / large classes but I can't sacrifice my career for home school and we don't have the income for private.

My OP was about how it seems to me that HS and PS both are for the privileged, and that the extent of that privilege is either the possibility for families to survive on one income or, in the case of PS, to basically spend the whole of one decent wage a year on the fees. Seems like if you had enough money to choose PS (but not silly amounts) then the lifestyles in terms of disposable income would be the same?

I know lots of home school families and only one private school one, and she's a teacher, but here on MN private schools are bashed a lot. It occurred to me that you could have 2 families with the same income, one sending kid to private school with both parents working, and one home schooling with one parent not working, and they could be exactly the same in terms of privilege.

I'm talking privilege like, being able to buy a house, have a degree, have children at all, drive a car, etc. Not huge mansion / inheritance.

We home ed. Our eldest chose to go to secondary. Our 2nd left primary at 7 and is now 16 and never wanted to return to school. One of us has worked the other been at home. It has been tough financially. We home edded for many reasons,none of them because our children have extra needs that weren't being met.I have met many many home edders who do so for many different reasons and have different approaches and finances.

The privilege for us would be if there was a school that was suitable for DD.

"I think home schooled kids do better in general, from what I've seen".

What do you mean by this OP ^?

I've never met a home schooled child or home schooling family so I'm completely ignorant on the subject. Is there general evidence anywhere to say they "do better"?

YANBU. I'm a single mum working full time, I need to work to pay bills so wouldn't have the time to home school. I'm not clever enough either, I didn't do well at school myself and did not do A levels or a degree.

I know quite a few parents who home school (one of my children went to a special school) and I would say that the vast majority are on benefits. At or not much above the poverty line.

I’m so surprised by this, that you don’t know any, I know quite a few home schoolers.

I’ve never heard that they do better.

I did my alevels 20+ years ago with a girl who was home schooled, I often wonder what she is upto now!