To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

[Scotlandma]

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms

what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own?

and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

it isn’t always about comfort but if people aren’t willing to fight for facilities suitable for all why is the default that girls suffer?

Because that requires effort from the party nicking the space and it’s easier just to nick the space. See also wheelchair spaces and prams.

I commend you for trying but honestly the posters on this thread do not care.

Recently boys have been assaulted or flashed at in my local community garden and in the local swimming pool changing rooms.

Who on earth feels "undignified" if a male child walks past while they're washing their hands? 😂
Seriously, yes there are some mad women out there, but, if they're so upset by the thought of a male child walking past them while they're queuing for a cubicle or using the hand dryer, they can surely come up with alternative toilet plans?

It my daughter’s case she had come out of the cubicle to find a boy right outside the door, he did not want to move over so I asked him to more than once before he did. He stood in front of my daughter staring at her. You may not think that intimidating but she was 6 at the time the boy quite tall and I later found on speaking to his mum was 10. The cubicle was small so very difficult to manoeuvre her behind me for her safety.
she is autistic and doesn’t like eye contact or unfamiliar people invading her space.
she will no longer use regular public toilets due to this so we use the disabled toilets.
his mum when spoken to politely about her son, snapped her son meant no harm he just wanted to touch my daughter as she had long hair and she felt that was his right.
I have no objection to young children but some of the cut offs being suggested are not just unfair to girls they are unsafe

I am not saying don’t protect your sons I would happily assist you but be reasonable towards girls and help protect them too. I’ve included a recent example from Google though with stats of 1-5 females having been sexually assaulted shouldn’t we be balancing risk better?

Recent female attack

Who on earth feels "undignified" if a male child walks past while they're washing their hands?

Young girls who don't expect to see 11-year-old boys in their bathroom. But we've already established mums-of-boys don't give a fuck about them. I'm glad you find it funny though.

I think you've done a very poor job of raising your daughter if this is her reaction at such a young age to see a boy in the bathroom. I would never have felt like this, I may have thought it odd but certainly no cause for alarm unless they were acting sinister. Why would a young child feel like this unless they already have some issues??

I don't think my SD is poorly raised to think female bathrooms mean bathrooms for females. Why should she, as a nearly 10-year-old girl, expect to see an 11-year-old boy standing outside her cubicle?

And actually, unfortunately, a lot of young girls have already been violated in their short lives, so yes, some will "already have some issues" and very much deserve to feel safe in the FEMALE bathroom.

Well that says it all really doesn't it

Girls as young as eleven have probably already encountered boys who pushed their boundaries. Why assume that the mother of the girl is to blame?

Boys typically first access porn at the age of 10, and puberty sets in much earlier than the age of eleven. Children do not live in a vacuum; they are a part of our society.
Boys and men are not inherently "evil," but minimising the negative effects that socially ingrained misogyny has on girls and women does neither men nor women any good.

So when you're out and about you really can't tell the difference between boys and girls? Weird! At10 years old girls look very different to boys in most cases- unless they have gone out of their way to look different or they are naturally androgynous looking.

Honestly, if your daughter is scared of being in a public toilet with other females and a young boy with his mum and is scared then I think you've done a pretty poor parenting job, good luck to that poor child when she's older. And if your little 9 or 10 year old is some kind of perve in the toilets with his mum, then also an equally terrible job. Terrible, terrible parenting all round. Let's just stop and think about that for a bit.

The sooner public toilets are all just self contained units, the better.

I've thought about it. And it's people like you who are the problem, minimising the impact on women and girls and expecting them to drop their boundaries. And then accusing people of poor parenting for refusing to do so.

It's you who is the problem. You should explore the impact of your own parents, and how they taught you to be like this.

Here we go now with the victim-blaming-by-proxy. "If your daughter is scared/scarred, it's your fault."

We should just do away with female bathrooms altogether. Just have "men" and "young boys". Women and girls can stay home.

Women can get pushed into those.
Not easy to hear if there's a problem.
You wouldn't see if someone had collapsed.

How about people just stick to the rules, mothers of boys start teaching them some independence, and grown men stay out of the women's toilets.

A solution that has worked for years. Until now.

Maybe the men should. Or maybe they should pass some sort of behaviour test before going out.

@Jonei

But don't disabled toilets present all those risks already? Can't they just fit a pull alarm as standard?

There are already issues with people (of all kinds) getting pushed into toilet cubicles and being raped.

I think once kids are out of infant school and into junior school (ie 8 years old) they should be using the correct toilets.

Nah, it's easier to just leave the men alone and make the women and girls give up their space. As long as the men and boys get to piss in peace, that's all that matter.

You mean the cord that is usually cut off or tied up so no one can actually reach it?

How do you think someone suffering a seizure, heart attack, a fall, or being actively assaulted will access the cord to pull it?

So why make the problem worse by creating even more enclosed spaces that women can get pushed into and no one can see / hear, cameras can get installed etc, and uploaded to porn hub? Just fucking why? Men can just go to their own bog. And train your boys to do the same.

They won't be able to.

This might be correct. I never understood the gaps underneath the cubicles and the flimsy locks until I had to "rescue" someone. Lady at work was unconscious in the toilet and fallen on the ground, someone had noticed her and told people in the office. I had rushed in and tried to open the lock with a letter opener, knife etc. just as I managed it, ambulance officers arrived. I can see if it was all enclosed no one would have noticed.

Trans women can use womens toilets already
But it’s not the same as they don’t go in there with their mothers.